BlogHer - Hillary Clinton - Comments

Mao it is!

PunditMom — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:56:01 -0500

Yes, I knew that it came from Mao, at least that's what I've been told!

It sounds like it will be an

kazari — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:57:42 -0500

It sounds like it will be an amazing trip!

btw, that's not so much a saying as a direct quote from Mao Zedong. Or at least, if it was a saying first, he co-opted it and put it in his little red book.

thought you might like to know.

http://myrope.wordpress.com

thank you

womenonthefence — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:00:16 -0500

Ladies, I wanted to thank you for your feedback. I'm glad the post got you stimulated, thinking and writing. As all of you, I wish the very best for Elizabeth Edwards. I wish her health, happiness and fulfillment. I'm glad to see as women, we can all have a voice. I cherish all your voices. Love, Erica www.WomenOnTheFence.com xoxEDxox

I thought I knew what I would do...

descalzagirl — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:09:48 -0500

I had always told my husband that I would leave him if he ever cheated on me. Obviously that wasn't a big enough threat to stop him. When I found out that he had been unfaithful to me, I was forced to evaluate 13 years of marriage. And my conclusion was that he deserved a second chance.

In each situation there are so many different factors. It's not a simple yes or no. My husband had ended the affair before I found out. He was truthful about the details of it (this I corroborated by texting The Other Woman and pretending to be my husband. I got a ton of information that way). He was miserable about it and repentant, and remembering back, I had seen signs of his misery the entire affair which lasted a few months.

I thought I could never stay, and now I'm trying to figure out how.

why on earth would we want to judge anyone's choices?

laurie — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:04:26 -0500

Really. It takes enough energy to make my own marriage work and to nurture the relationships in my own life.

I don't know what I would do in Elizabeth Edwards' situation but I certainly don't judge her for the choices she's made.

As an aside (and as someone living with Stage 4 breast cancer), while Ms. Edwards' cancer is incurable, I don't think that she would say that she is "dying" or "terminal." She is currently undergoing treatment and I think her condition is relatively stable. Many women with Stage 4 breast cancer are living much longer than anyone would expect and find that the illness is more comparable to a chronic illness.

I don't point this out to make anyone feel bad. It's just as someone in a similar situation (I am in remission but continue with treatment), I can be a tad sensitive when it comes to this issue.

Laurie

The blog is Not Just About Cancer and the book is Not Done Yet.

Judging?

amamasblog — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:49:44 -0500

I can see the reason behind it this post- for discussion, but why drag Elizabeth Edwards situation into it again?

Elizabeth Edwards has been through hell, and she is dying. What she decides to do regarding her husband, her marriage, and her family is her business, and none of us are qualified to “judge” her decisions. Maybe she is happy sitting on that “fence.” Maybe she had made peace with the situation, and maybe she hasn’t. The post says we shouldn’t judge her, but when you say, “She must sit on that fence every day wondering if she has made the right decision for herself and her happiness. That can’t be a comfortable place to sit.” That sounds like a judgment in itself.

Heather

*A Mama's Blog

heart breaking...

oilfieldwife — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:34:04 -0500

I can't even imagine what I would do in her shoes. Being critically ill with young children is hard enough, and to have a husband behave so despicably, I can't even fathom the pain. I agree with Erica, if it were a one time thing, I would be inclined to work it out, especially if children are involved. But an ongoing affair? In my opinion, that's just a man trying to get out of a marriage and not having the guts to say it straight out, so he acts out. Such a tough situation, I just hope that she can find peace in some way. As for John Edwards, I don't know how he sleeps at night.

An Unlikely Oilfield Wife!

http://www.unlikelyoilfieldwife.com

You never know

sarahday — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:25:28 -0500

I have to say honestly that I have no idea what I would do. It would depend so much on my relationship with my husband before it happened and the ability for us to communicate after. Trust is a tough thing to earn back once it is lost, and although I'm sure it is possible, it's a struggle that is long and hard for both parties.

I cannot imagine what Elizabeth Edwards went through. I cannot imagine being diagnosed with terminal cancer, having lost a child, and finding out your husband was unfaithful. Talk about feeling utterly alone. I'll be honest, I don't know if I was in her situation if I would have the strength to leave the marriage and face the cancer, dying, and the loss of my child alone even if that was what I wanted to do. She is an amazing woman regardless and my thoughts are definitely with her.

Sarah Day

live large, laugh often, wear purple underwear

house of day

Why stay in the marriage?

Twincere — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:59:06 -0500

Speaking from experience, its completely devastating and life changing to have been betrayed by your spouse. My ex husband cheated on me in June 1999. We split but reconciled after he begged for forgiveness after 1 month. The reconciliation was short lived. Neither our pastor nor Couples therapy could help heal the wounds of distrust, and the nagging doubt that was always in my mind. He admitted that he still thought about her, even though he supposedly cared for me. I asked him to leave in December 1999, and found out I was pregnant with twins 4 weeks later. Though we were separated and he lived with the other girl, (who knew he was married) he tried to be supportive of the pregnancy for our 4 year old daughter's sake. He played mind games, and sad to admit--I fell for them a few times. Pregnant, single and struggling as a parent made me vulnerable. I gave birth to the boys early--July 2000. He gave me an ultimatum--one which included him being able to "be with the other girl and myself as he pleased". I not so politely declined and even though scared, continued on with the divorce. Through all the years of abuse and turmoil, I struggled with the decision because I wanted my marriage to work--we'd been together since 1992. But marriage cannot be completely one-sided, and it had been for us. Surpisingly and unexpectedly a year later in Aug 2001, I met my future DH & we married in April 2002. He has been a blessing, my best friend, and a wonderful, hands on parent to my 3 children.

My ex husband has very little to do with our 3 children at all, maybe sees them once or twice a year. He married that same girl 4 years ago and now has 2 more children with her. In all that time, he's not changed--he's still without ambition, a liar and still a cheater. Some people never change, and thankfully--I have.

I also feel tremendous sadness and compassion for Elizabeth Edwards. Yes, she is dying--but to start all over after investing 30 years of her life would be too taxing on her health. I would hope that John Edwards would be a man enough to be there with his wife and children at all times--until the end. I think given the state of her health or emotional well being, she should just stay in the familiar. Leaving the marriage would further sink her into depression and that's not good for someone who is already critically ill. I would have a different thought if her illness had a better prognosis, but sadly--thats not to say at this time. She needs to focus on her thoughts, and spending time with her children and her loved ones--she needs every last bit of time on her side for them.

【ツ】Email: Twincere(at)Gmail(dot)com

【ツ】Link to my blog: http://twinceretwinkles.blogspot.com/

I think I'm in the it

adjunctmom — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:51:47 -0500

I think I'm in the it depends category. I do know that if my husband declared his mistress his "soulmate" a la Mark Sanford, I would dump him without question. That moves beyond "oops" and into seriously destructive, you know? I'm not sure how his wife stands to be in the same room with him and I have to say I admire her perseverence in attempting to save her marriage.

I don't think I could tolerate an extended affair either, but a one night stand? Well, once yes, if it was a serial thing, I think that would be too much for me.

So well handled.We are not a

Houseonahill — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:49:54 -0500

So well handled.

We are not a partner in her/or anyone elses but our own's marriage and therefore need to save our energies and reserve our commentary.

I simply use my energy to send her strength and good wishes as she transitions...

Houseonahillorg

www.Houseonahillorg.blogspot.com

www.HealthierHappierHouseonahill.org

It Was Incredibly Moving

Megan Smith — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 22:52:32 -0500

Hi Maria,

Yes it was incredibly moving.

Like you I hope that the words turn into even more positive actions.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

My Personal Entertainment Blog: Megan's Minute

Twitter:@MeganSmith

Sounds incredibly moving and powerful

Maria Niles — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 21:33:31 -0500

Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Megan. I hope the spirit of this event spreads far and wide.

BlogHer Contributing Editor
PopConsumer
Beyond Help

Ah - ok!

Jill Miller Zimon — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:45:29 -0500

Ha - I was thinking about how there was a little thing you could do a
few months ago where you could get your name to be an "NPR-sounding"
name - so that's what I thought of when I read your comment.

As for the tenor of their voices being like airline pilots, well - calm and reassuring - I would think that's something that goes with the expectations most people have of a commander-in-chief, you know? Interesting observation though!

Jill Writes Like She Talks

Reply

LPC — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:39:53 -0500

http://amidlifeofprivilege.blogspot.com

I wasn't thinking of their names so much as how they sound when they talk. Obama makes a perfect arline piilot. I can just hear his voice over the loudspeaker...