BlogHer - compassion - Comments

Thanks, Barb

Mata H — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:04:55 -0500

Interestingly, when I took Hebrew, the professor told us that the word "Shalom" - usually translated as "peace" really had a deeper meaning -- more like "things in their rightful/best place" -- or "things as they shoud be".

Thanks for your comment -- it can be hard to read sites that are strongly opposed to where one is, especially if they are rage-fueled, but it is needful to understand , so bravo.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Got it. Keep going.

Norma156 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:37:01 -0500

Got it. Keep going.

ah Norma, you misread me

Mata H — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:17:06 -0500

In no way was I suggesting that this is a hateful country or castigating the populace or being un-optimistic. In fact, there is much in what I wrote about hope. I apologize if it was not brought enough to the fore. But please re-read this And I need to hang on to hope. There is progress being made. Look around. The ever-present media in 2009 deluges us with information and negative images with such frequency that it can be easy to skip over the fact that we have made progress. And that would be even more dangerous.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Mata--That the electorate

Norma156 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:52:51 -0500

Mata--That the electorate (as opposed to the "populace") is more inclusive is evident by the fact that Obama was elected.This is self-evident and inarguable.

I think we are about the same age...I'm 57...so have been around long enough to actually witness the growth of inclusiveness. Friends of mine who had to go to the "colored" section when they were exactly my age...friends who had to "walk the line" to go to University of Mississippi and many more really heart wrenching examples of bigotry are the stuff of our childhoods, teen years and twenties. If the now increasingly reviled boomers did anything, it was to inaugrate this climate of change and inclusiveness.

But unlike you, I don't believe this is a hateful country, perhaps because of my own experience. My family is from the south. Daddy...now gone...had the wit to move us north when I was six. (And, since your beat is religion, I'll say here, thank God he did.) I went to a prep school in Princeton and to Columbia. All of this at the insistence of my father, the southern patriarch. I marched and I protested. He never objected...and I still think it was right.

But my family's roots are in the south. After Daddy died, Mother married her high school sweetheart and returned to the deep south...much to my horror, frankly. So now I visit there frequently to see her.

And, yes, I sometimes encounter incredible bullshit. People, usually aged, who continue to study the Civil War for accounts of their "glorious" forebearers. People, again, usually aged, who will actually discuss the fact their families owned slaves. (I'm proud to say my family were carpetbaggers...the first one who settled in the south was a Protestant minister who was a Union chaplin. Owning slaves was anathama to my glorious ancestors.)

But, my Mother who grew up with this shit, disdains it. After spending 83 years listening to it, she won't have it around her or as any part of her life. And, most of her friends, friends of the same age and background disdain it as well.

So,my own experience as well as the existential experience of the country suggests that bigotry is on the wane.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has done some good work. But merely saying that there are a "staggering 960 hate groups" isn't persuasive. How is "hate group" defined? How many people belong to the hate group? There are a number of people who suggest that James Van Bruen had links to hate groups. Who are these hate groups? Where are they?

Mata, I think I'm fundamentally more optimistic than you are...I really don't see hate around me. (I guess I should admit here that I am an economic conservative and tend to be conservative on most issues. However, I've never seen a persuasive argument against gay marriage and I supported Planned Parenthood twenty five years ago when I was an editorial writer...despite receiving unthinkable material in the mail.)

So, yes, there is hate. But please, oh please, don't suggest there has been no progress. It's ridiculous on its face to suggest it. Instead of castigating the "populace," perhaps for a change you might applaud it. These changes have taken place within a few decades in our lifetimes...really, Mata...it's not a small achievement.

hello Norma

Mata H — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:57:57 -0500

My reference to the inauguration was a hope that a kinder an more enthusiastically inclusive America was about to emerge, one which did not just run on a party line.

I do not agree that history has "passed by" hate groups in ths country. This quote is from the Southern Poverty Law Center "The Southern Poverty Law Center has documented a staggering 926 hate groups operating in our country — a more than 50% increase since 2000.Hate group leaders are exploiting the difficult economic times to swell their ranks, and their anti-Semitic, white supremacist propaganda is promoting violence. A neo-Nazi leader was quoted in USA Today saying, "When the economy suffers, people are looking for answers. ...We are the answer for white people."

As for what does and doesn't get a statement from the White House -- I have no idea - but I suspect if every hate crime got a statement, the press room would be running 24/7.

But my point is, how do we move forward? How do we care for ourselves in the interim?

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Mata--I find it interesting

Norma156 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 10:31:31 -0500

Mata--I find it interesting that you begin this post with your dashed hope of "some immediate transformation of the populace" Why on earth should the populace be transformed???And transformed from what into what???

The killing of Dr. Tiller wasn't a "conservative" act...it was a sociopathic act by an individual. Moreover I would note that the right was far quicker to condemn this act than the left was to condemn the killing of twenty-three year old William Long by Abdulhakim Muhammad. (Did the White House ever issue a statement??) Similarly, the killing of Stephen Johns was a horrifying, but isolated act, by a would-be Nazi.

Politically, I'd mention that nothing on the right compares to the on-going hate spewed at Sarah Palin and her family by members of the left.

But this gets into trading left versus right accusations of hate. My point is that many people tend to take an isolated act and generalize it as representative of groups...groups who are usually right of center. My point is proven by the above post which mentions the "vitriol" by conservative blogs, but doesn't, as usual, name names.

Further, I'd note that the populace, at least the small populace I interact with, is more more concerned and worried about their futures and the futures of their children than seething with hatred. For most people, keeping a roof over their heads trumps the gay marriage issue. Trust me on this.

I know there are still isolated pockets of race hatred in our country. But history has passed them by. They are not representative of any kind of mainstream ideology or the "populace." To suggest that they are is not productive.

Finding Peace

BarbD — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:22:51 -0500

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. - Unknown"

I struggle with this, too. In my effort to not isolate myself in a world surrounded only by my own views, I've been venturing out to read conservative blogs and websites.

Sometimes the vitriol overwhelms me. And I'm not so naive as to believe that I would not have found the same vitriol hurled against people and policies of the previous administration by those who share my politics.

Buddhism teaches us to be the peace we want to find in the world. Still working on that ;-)

Thank you

Kim Pearson — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:32:12 -0500

KimBlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|

My heart aches every day...

tjsmith — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:13:41 -0500

The following is the opening of the blog at my web site. I meet people like this every day. I try to help them, but there is an ocean of them and the tide just keeps coming in... on Thanksgiving I go to Whole Foods and buy little apple pies to give to as many guys like Tony as I can find. Sometimes all you can do is give pie, or let someone believe you are family.

"Today I met Tony. He is homeless and suffers from delusions. He
wanted the ATM machine to give his benefits card back after one of the
voices in his head told him to put it in there. The people inside the
bank were scared of him and called the cops. He is is dirty and smelly
and has bad teeth. When I retrieved his card for him he smiled a huge
single toothed smile and imagined I was his dead sister returned to
life. He had a moment of great happiness.

His smile made me feel good, even while my heart ached with pity and a certain feeling of helplessness. Our world does not have an answer to his dilemma of mental
illness and homelessness. A moment of bliss in Tony's hard life is
rare. Letting him believe that his sister had returned and saved the day for him was easy"

TJ Smith

www.working-with-women.com

Desmond Tutu helps

Mata H — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:51:34 -0500

This man is my hero. I can only dream of being able to show his compassion -- but it inspires me. I figure you'll be blessed by his words, too.

There are a wealth of YouTube videos of him that I look at when I need to hear the message in his heart. In this video he has a long and beautiful interview. Check this one too.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Compassion? Shucks, I'm Still Working on Forgiveness

Gena Haskett — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:09:20 -0500

The pass few weeks have been hard, both from stories in the news and personal stuff. The anger wants to jump forward and avenge the wrongs.

Rational mind wants to understand what is going on and my spiritual self is plum tuckered out. I wish I had the grace of that man.

I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of false non-sincere compassion. There are churches I will not step foot in because of it. I have also been blessed by good people who freely act from the heart. They have led me to a better place in my life.

I need to review my actions and see if I have logs in my eyes when it comes to my own efforts. Much food for thought. Thank you.

A long-term work in progress:

Gena - Out On The Stoop

thanks, Cliz

Mata H — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:28:41 -0500

I like your sentiment, and I am sure it does help. Every one who takes a step like that is part of something wonderful in the wolrd. Keep on keeping on, and thanks for the kind words.

Mata

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Beautiful Post

ClizBiz — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:31:35 -0500

I feel like the headlines are full of racial and religious hatred today so i appreciate this beatuiful story and it's much-needed sentiment. I try to live life as if there are no strangers - only friends I have not met yet. It helps.

~ClizBiz

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Animal Concerns, Proprietor, ClizBiz

Giving plan

Britt Bravo — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 13:01:51 -0600

Good advice, Candelaria. Sounds like you have a giving plan, either in your mind, or on paper. I know that when some folks make giving plans for the year, they set aside a small budget for as you describe them a, "one-time, emotional gift."

I've got more info about giving plans in my BlogHer post, Don't Let Your Holiday Donations Be Like Buying Gum in the Checkout Line.

Do What You Can

Candelaria Silva — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 00:57:56 -0600

In all of my philanthropic giving - which is always small - I make decisions based on my knowledge of the organization, the money I have, and my history with the organization or cause. Just because a friend or acquaintance is involved in an organization does not mean that I will contribute. My dollars are finite and small. Sometimes I learn about a cause, issue or organization through a media outlet and I make a one-time, emotional gift. Last year I gave less than in previous years because finances are very learn but I still gave.

I cannot be guilted or prompted to give. For me, it's personal. There are so many worthwhile causes that I just give to the ones that I find most important. And I give both time and money as I can.

To not give is not an option but to give everytime I'm asked is also not possible.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!