BlogHer - Husband - Comments

wow

Marguerita99 — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:35:55 -0500

you know what? At least you found out now. This could have happened in 12 years when your child *remembered* it. At least your son will be spared that.

Beautiful poem - thank you!

angelawd — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:44:16 -0500

This is a beautiful poem, and one that encouraged me, too. I have been thinking lately about the verses beginning "Two is better than one..."; in my current difficult times I see how my husband and I support each other with God's help.

angelawd: the writer gets the last word

Sometimes Men should go back where they came from! lol

naisi — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:57:23 -0500

NAISI

I just read your post and I love it, just what I needed today!!! Okay, married almost 30 yrs and it seriously gets worse each yr not better. Not sure what romance is but hey it doesn't matter that I'm tired from dealing with everything including getting a new job, animals, kids, mother, in-laws etc. I'm still suppose to do all the "woman" things and then strut into that bedroom being the vixen!

All I would like is alittle romance, you know when he walks in the door he actually comes to find me and says, "hey Babe, love ya missed ya" and gives you a hug....nope don't get that goes outside to hang with the guys, makes fun of me doesn't help with any household chores cause he is now working more hours(yeah, I'm one the one with the bonbons on the couch all day...right...wouldn't know what a bonbon was if it bit me in the butt).

But come night-time I still suppose to want to ...do it!! NO hugs, cuddling not allowed etc etc....the caveman has emerged after all these yrs and truly tired of him.

I dream of running away from it all and find a man who at least realizes I have a brain, not too bad looking and can engage in real conversation....look for him to stare into my eyes and drool a little too...won't be that bad. Hey, actually bring me bonbons and a flower would be nice.

Men sometimes need to go back to Mars and stay there until they realize it's a priviledge to be able to be with us from Venus. They are so dense they don't realize that just a smile, a hug and a "I missed you". ...is really all it takes.

you are right...

elizabeth.faden — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:05:24 -0500

I think living everyday as a first is a great idea....all my
'firsts' happened for a reason....same reason as living your day as if it was
my last...the first came because I opened my self up to things I normally
wouldn't have

Elizabeth Faden
Co-owner www.completepregnancy.com
http://www.completepregnancy.com
http://www.twitter.com/ElizabethFaden

Thank you for your very kind

sugarmagnolia — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:53:54 -0500

Thank you for your very kind words and also a different perspective.

You say that love is not deceitful and I beleive that to be true also but if he loves me as much as he has said that he does why was he so deceitful? That question hurts. You are also right about love not having doubt but that I still do. I have not completely forgiven him, rather I've moved to a place of understanding. That is pretty powerful too but it doesn't make what has happened ok.

I think that you may be right, that I may be waiting for a confirmation that I'm either right or wrong about him and the situation that we are in. I hope that I'm wrong and that he won't go back to his old habits. I'm aprehensive because we've been here before and I given him a second chance already and it feels like it was all for not.

I think that I'm running scared and that maybe I haven't completely thought through the true reson as to why I am staying. I truly think that I am staying for the betterment of my family but haven't completely thought through at what cost that betterment is to me.

Its at this point when I feel like I'm running circles. This is also one of those situations where nobody has the answers but me and because of all the running I feel like I can't think straight enough to answer myself.

Lost in Love?

TheLoveIdiot — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:23:52 -0500

Lately, I've just been listening to country music, right now, it's John Michael Montgomery's "I love the way you love me." Love is not a one way street. Love is patient yet Love is not deceitful. Love does not doubt. Yet, you say that you have some doubt, you have forgiven, yet you feel that it is inevitable that he will do it again.

You have mentioned that he 'won' again, without you even putting up a fight and now you do not want him to win in losing your relationship/marriage. You are already a winner. You have come far and beyond many women could do, because you wanted to make your marriage work. Ask yourself though, who does this benefit, your child? your family? you?

You stated that he's not done anything else to make you leave or give you reason. Is that what you are waiting for? Do you need a confirmation? What are you looking for? You want a sign? Happiness is around the corner, now if you want to be stubborn and say, "I'll eventually get around that corner, let me just see what is coming up behind me," notice I said behind, because it seems that you've moved foward without even knowing and you are stll waiting on him.

I may be off and completely off, for that forgive me, but if I am not, you've found a place...here to not only vent but communicate with ppl that are going through the same siutation.

JMM says he could list a million things that he loves about her...but they all come down to one thing, he could never live without her. I always said, true love is finding happiness in the person loved. You can never go wrong with that.

Love conquers all.

Marin

Revenge on Office Bully's Sidekick

AmyMusings — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:54:21 -0500

Is it just my browser? When I try to put a permalink in the post, I only get a blank box, and resort to writing out the entire permalink to the blog. It's less user friendly for the reader. Instead of just clicking on the link, they have to copy/past it.

Amy Kehoe

www.amymusings.com

Hey I dont know about you

unmotivated yet — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:37:30 -0500

but the 4 is very easy for men. In fact that is how they think they validate us.

I want you, anytime, so why do you want me to do the other four things especially 3?

Act of service - what is that? Notice I said act - not acts. I would be so happy with one...........not after a shouting match but genuinely from the heart. To acknowledge that I am doing things for him, even when I dont want to.

But I guess with so many people talking about this, I am asking for the moon.

Pillow Talk

rebellious thinker — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 21:04:54 -0600

Maybe you could tell him that Ms Spears lost her baby weight but still has her very own baby fat.

What does it take for a man to try to see what a woman and her body go through having a baby? The little pillow thing--maybe they should have one that cannot be removed until he is able to say, without feeling like a wimp: Honey, do you need anything else? What can I get you? Are you feeling okay? You look great. You are great.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

He said WHAAA?!

babybeatnik — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:25:15 -0600

Oh-oh-ho no. That's AWFUL! Men really know how to just shove that foot right in their mouth don't they? ...Shoe and all. Goodness.

My husband, during my first pregnancy, was getting irritated with my complaints. I got a REALLY terrible cold (the kind where you've coughed SO MUCH that your body aches and winces all over just from breathing) and my doctor wouldn't let me take anything but cough drops. So, one night I'm complaining just before bed in the hopes that he might go get me some orange juice (what else are they good for, afterall?) when this little gem pops out:

"Well, God! If I had known that pregnancy was going to be THIS HARD FOR YOU, I would have asked you to get an ABORTION!"

........Now. Before anyone freaks out here, let me just pop back in. My husband is a WONDERFUL husband/father/man. He is more than I could have ever dreamed of. Immediately after saying that he was literally on his knees begging for forgiveness. And after a few hours of crying my eyes out, I gave it to him.

Now that I'm pregnant again, it's become a bit of a joke (yes, it's a sick joke, but we both know we're not serious in the SLIGHTEST and are ecstatic to be having baby number 2)

Anyway - I'm sorry to have gone off there - great post. I love reading new mom stuff. :) I will DEFINITELY be checking out more of your stuff!

That's cute!

christinajeanne — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 18:09:51 -0600

AWWW! that is so sweet of your husband.

gratitude

christinajeanne — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 17:27:51 -0500

I agree with you. I think it's so important to say and live gratitude. Sometimes when times are tough it's hard to always find things to be grateful for. But I belive if you can find at least one thing then life is not so bad after all. Thanks for sharing.

And Her Husband Still Has Most of His Hair

Michellesamom — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:03:01 -0500

Would have been my reply... while staring at his head.

But I'm evil... ;)

It Doesn't Always Work That Way

rebellious thinker — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:45:09 -0500

The catch is that sometimes those others do not accord you with the proper respect that will bring pride and happiness in oneself. And expecting that to happen causes some women to stay in unhealthy situations for too long. I just wrote a post on that about how I compromised myself out of a marriage. If it works for you, great; but know that a pretty phrase is not always followed through in life.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Do a Switcheroo

rebellious thinker — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:11:01 -0500

I think the rolled eyes regarding the chores is a teen thing, boy or girl. If you feel that you are modeling something untoward for your sons and for which your future daughters-in-law will hate you, then it seems you can have a talk and discuss your points, maybe even tell them what makes you uncomfortable and what you want them to understand. They are paying more attention than you think. (I am a high school teacher and a mother of a teen and tween, so I have some street credibility.)

But, if that is just not in the cards, then why not have hubby prepare dinner once a week and you drive the family to the restaurant, or whatever, keep switching an "expected" mother and father chore so that does not become the expectation. I mean in the summer the men are generally grilling, why not have him shop for the food he grills--maybe take those family-friendly boys with him to do the shopping?

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com