BlogHer - MATERNAL HEALTH ISSUES - Comments

Stop the Spread of Spawn!

kalybird_21 — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:56:03 -0600

I agree with Toni. It isn't environmentally beneficial to anyone to keep popping out kids, and it's arrogant to place ourselves as the center of nature. We keep reproducing and yet we devour and multiply like locusts, while we in return give so little back to the planet. And kids consume at a astonomical rate! Diapers sit in landfills, clothes are outgrown and discarded, teenagers need the newest and best technologies only to throw them away a week later! Population growth is only an economic plus, and even when our land is devoured by houses and still there are people living in the street it isn't enough!

I have never wanted kids. I didn't even like them when I was one. Add that to the the biology movies they show you in school and it's like watching those freakin' ALIEN movies all over again. Also, why the obsession with continuing human genetic lines? What makes us so great? That's all I want to know.

we are adopting, and my

ChildofGod — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:41:10 -0500

we are adopting, and my heart aches for his first mom. He is due to be born October 10th and I am so conflicted. Here this precious woman has taken away all the pain of infertility that I have had for almost 18 years. But, in taking my pain away she is going to have pain I can't even understand. I have fallen in love with her as a person, as a mother and I cry and cry thinking of her having to go through all of this.

Thanks for letting me peak into what a birth/first mom is feeling. We are doing an open adoption and hope she wants to spend time with him one day. (HUGS)

Mothers Act

blocker771 — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:05:48 -0500

Mother’s Act advocates get very shrill and angry at anyone who questions their advocacy and especially they get very shrill, angry and THREATENING towards anyone who presents the truth of what this bill is really all about, which they refuse to look at or discuss. The most repugnant aspect of this bill is how psychiatric interests work so hard to smoothly misrepresent the unnatural (drugging of pregnant mothers) as natural or okay when prior to psychotropic drugs, mothers were always counselled by traditional Western medical authorities not to take any drugs or as little as possible. How the authority of traditional doctors was usurped by nonmedical quasi medical(?) authorities would make an interesting investigation. Also, Mother’s Bill advocates are strangely silent about the birth defects that have been linked to these drugs and existing litigation against drug companies for compensation for the death, damage and disability to newborns linked to these drugs. The other point about the Mother’s Bill is that it is ironically named for a psychiatric victim and the legislation provides for millions of pregnant women to be able receive without their informed consent the damaging treatment that the woman named for this bill unfortunately was victimized by receiving without her informed consent.

your blog made me cry.. it

mom2brody — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:05:36 -0500

your blog made me cry.. it was beautiful... she is a lucky little girl to have 2 moms who love her..

i am an adoptive mom and every night i tell my baby boy how much I love him and how much his dad loves him.. then i also tell him about his birth mom and how much he means to her and how she loves him... i never want there to be a doubt in this mind that she loves him...

God bless you and your angel too!

is giving birth the only aspect of child rearing with risk?

Icha — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 17:26:44 -0600

It seems strange to point this out, but does the argument against homebirth ever substitute other things for birthplace to test its logic? For example, has anyone ever thought about requiring all parents to buy volvos and prohibit them from buying, say, a mazda sports car because an infant (and its parents) would be far safer in a volvo if they are involved in a crash? Or how about the carseat itself? Not all carseats are equal, some are much safer than others. Should parents be required to buy only the absolute safest car seat? Of course not, no one ever even considers these things, even though car crash fatalities are a leading cause of death for children and adults. These are things we are allowed to decide for ourselves based on many factors, including basic freedoms of freedom from unwarrented government surveillance and interference.

I believe that homebirths are the safest option for some people, myself included. Safety statistics aside, does society apply the same readiness to legislate to behaviors that don't have to do with women's bodies and reproductive capacity? It doesn't...the minute a woman's reproductive capacity is concerned, we (this society) think we have the right to make all sorts of laws governing what she can and can't do. Most other behaviors are left up to choice. This is not about what option is safest. It's about who gets to make reproductive choices for women: professoinal organizations, the courts, the state, other interested parties, or the woman herself.

Diminishing The Sisterhood

willowlost — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 20:10:18 -0600

I'm so pleased to see you share this. None of my birth experiences in and of themselves were great, but after my thrid child was born I experienced the most amazing orgasm! Everyone was busy doing their thing with my new babe, cleaning her up while I lay there unnoticed, wrapped in a heated blanket contemplating a job well finished. As I lay back it simply started to happen all of it's own accord! WOW! it just happened. Noone knew, and like you I kept it to myself for quite some time, although I sure didn't feel bad about having it occur. Honestly? Totally BEST orgasm I ever experienced in my life. Sad but true!

Why so many women feel the need to instantly deny another woman's experience simply because it hasn't happened to them is beyond me. Are we so in need of being the ones to have "the most, the best, the most unusual experiences" that denial of anything outside the realm of our own personal reality makes us feel empowered in some way? Better than the next woman?

I was very saddened for womankind in general to read many of the thoughts posted here that negate and belittle the experience of other women. How devastating some of those comments, accusing of lies and shams, must have felt to some others who were honest enough to share with the sisterhood.

Women are quick to jump all over something when society diminishes them in some way, yet when they do it to 'one of their own' they feel it is completely acceptable! No wonder things haven't "really come a long way Baby"

This thread of conversation actually makes me feel embarassed to be a woman!

So, thank you again for having the courage to set the record straight.

I'm sorry you've been

Amy Gates — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:16:21 -0600

I'm sorry you've been battling depression for so long. Is there anything in particular that's worked for you that might help out others as well?

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

"We need to value ourselves.

Amy Gates — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:14:16 -0600

Thank you for your comment. You said, "We need to value ourselves. And make the time for ourselves."

I think this definitely holds true for all moms, but it is easier said than done. Balance is something I strive for constantly.

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

Working Mom

claudia60 — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:49:47 -0600

I'm a full-time, working mom and I've been battling depression since the birth of my second daughter ('97). Even though I do believe that my depression is due to my hormonal problems, my working status has played a role in it. Since 1997, I've worked full-time, part-time (for a year) and occasionally (for 3 years). Being a mom and wife are stressful roles, but a job definitely adds to the stress. First, there is the guilt that you cannot always participate at school-related functions, or that you can't invite your kids' friends after school because you work. Then, there is the fact that there is someone (boss/customer/client) who needs your time or deliverables within a certain time frame. My happiest time was probably working part-time because I was doing interesting work, earning money, and enjoyed extra time with my girls.

Scheduling Issues

rebellious thinker — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 06:27:23 -0600

Working moms are vaunted for our scheduling prowess. It's so much easier to take care of everyone else and everything else than ourselves. At some point we need to realize that if the engine needs help, it's better to fix it than wait for it to breakdown. I guess when we stop lauding ourselves about how much working moms can do (and all moms in fact), then maybe we can give ourselves a ME breather. How many moms go to the doctor when they're sick? We usually take care of ourselves with tea. It doesn't work for flu just like ti doesn't work for depression. We need to value ourselves. And make the time for ourselves.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Pretty amazing

jodimichelle — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 11:28:24 -0600

I just read about this in Christiane Northrop's book "Mother-Daughter Wisdom" and at first thought, what!? But the more I read about it, it actually made sense to me. Birth is supposed to an experience for the mother, and the child, of unity - yea, it hurts - and the way labor and birth has become in the US is so "medical". I don't know, it's very interesting. It's amazing what our bodies were made to do, and left to do it we might actually find that we can do so many more things we're talked out of every single day.

um, yeah

court_n2000 — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 18:08:15 -0600

You know how, sometimes, you poo on the table when you give birth? Well, you don't talk about that now do you? If I had been one of these gals I sooo would not tell a soul.

I agree

Amy Gates — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:37:31 -0600

"I think an alternative voice in the current birth climate is sorely
needed. Because even if your birth isn't ecstatic, it doesn't mean
that it will necessarily be horrifying or painful or something to be
afraid of."

Exactly! :) Thanks for your comment.

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

Darn right you should Fidget!

Delaine Moore — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:02:26 -0600

Well Amy, there's an anomoly sitting above you on this post then! LOL

Good for you FIdget! I think that's fantastic and you don't have to apologize or feel freaky for it whatsoever. I'm intrigued and a tadd envious! That being said, I understand the embarassment/confusion of when our bodies do something 'out of the ordinary' - like when I squirted during sex for the first time - I was HORRIFIED! I felt like I'd bled from my period all over his sheets or something - we had to change the sheets twice AND cover the mattress with towels! I mean I'd 'heard' of squirting before, but I'd always thought it sounded freaky. Guess I'm now a part of that club:)

Women's bodies are amazing!

should I openly admit this?

fidget — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:11:17 -0600

My first birth was a horrifying marathon of pain and scariness. I expected my second one to go at least a little better. It did.. it went comparitively fantastic.

My second child was eager to arrive though and she pretty much rocketed through the birth canal. During her escape, I had an orgasm. It went like this

HOLY %&^& BLINDING PAIN BLINDING PAIN BLINDING PAIN HOLY %^*%& WHOA WHOA WHOOOOOOOAAAA!!!! *me blushes, looks around room wide eyed and hopes no one noticed* OH MY GOD PAIN! and sploosh she's here.

Having an orgaism during birth was completely disconcerting. i had never heard of it occuring and felt like a total freak. I did not mention it to ANYONE for 2 years. After I saw a small news article on it, I fessed up to my husband and then started asking my friends about it... no one else had such an occurance.

I dont know if it had to do with the speed of her exit, the angle, or whatever. I have since had 2 more natural births and I'm sad to say no other birthing orgasms. Well I guess there is always hope for next time

Fidget

Finding Yourself Despite Yourself