BlogHer - MATERNAL HEALTH EDUCATION - Comments

Ruchi - I agree!

TeacherCaryn — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 01:54:52 -0500

You said it best about how its the intimate act that bothers you. Plus, there are just way too many men out there who have disgusted me with their comments about how hot breastfeeding is, including a popular radio dj whom I at one time listened to faithfully. Would the baby's father be comfortable with some pervert thinking about performing something sexual to his wife's breast? Would the breast feeder herself be comfortable with the disgusting people who think the same way? Call me a prude, but sadly I'm not making this up.

This is not the first time

biggirlblue — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:17:45 -0500

This is not the first time I've past through a debate like this. I've wandered through many "child-free" forums and many of them seem to be vehemently against breast feeding in public. Which I think is kind of funny (not ha-ha) because they all want to be respected for their choice but don't give mums the respect of actually having the choice to feed in public. I think it is a huge landmark for women and should be celebrated by all women regardless of their own personal choices.

Moe
Big Girl Blue, M.E. Wood lens, Large and Lovely

"Women are going to form a chain, a greater sisterhood than the world has ever known." ~Nellie McClung, 1916

Fabulous

amygeekgrl — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:38:55 -0500

Thank you for doing whatever you can to help spread the word, Kelly. :)

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

This is an excellent idea.

mamarussell — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:00:19 -0500

This is an excellent idea. I will be passing the word around.

Kelly

Happy wife and contented mother

Wisdom Begun

Respectfully Considering Others

Momofsixteen — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:56:18 -0500

I nursed my own five children until they were nearly a year old. I did not feel comfortable doing so in public, having been reared with a bent to baring as little skin as possible. But there were a few occasions when I had no choice.

Our family traveled for the US Department of State. We lived and traveled abroad in Europe, South America, Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia. Being exposed to many other cultures did not change my comfort level, but I did acknowledge that if no one was paying any attention, I probably should go ahead and overcome my sensitivity, and just feed my baby. I'd keep a blanket just around the baby's back and head, so if necessary, I'd cover his/her head and my breast.

Now married again with three times as many children, I hope to encourage my daughters and future daughters-in-law to feel free to nurse their children wherever they may happen to be, because not all travel and eating in restaurants is optional. Nor can feeding time be avoided in many cases. I hope they understand that they can do so in a manner that will not flaunt their right, but rather will respect the comfort level of those around them.

Some malls and public places now have family bathrooms for parents (like me) who have a bunch of kids to tend to all at once. I find these places quite clean and comfortable to sit and rest in. I do like privacy when I nurse. It is a very intimate act, and nursing my child in front of someone is like undressing down to underwear, which I would not do just anywhere nor in front of just anyone.

After all, living in society still implies being polite to all, regardless of their opinion. I don't mind putting my rights aside to keep from offending others.

Deb Momofsixteen

I'm glad you will be taking

amygeekgrl — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:42:34 -0500

I'm glad you will be taking it and hope you will pass it along to other women you know who've recently had kids. It certainly has the potential to be a great tool for so many. :)

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

Very inspiring

RaisingBoys — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 14:23:42 -0500

Your donation will be well worth it to some baby or child whose mother is not as blessed as you are to breastfeed so successfully. I looked into breastmilk donation and didn't make enough for my son and another. I so happy it was an option for you. Thank you.

Sarah

http://raisingboys.gainesville.com/

I tried to take the survey

amamasblog — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:28:21 -0500

I tried to take the survey but couldn't figure out how to get past a certain point- it kept kicking me out. Now that I know what the problem was (user error) I will be taking it soon. This will be a great resource.Heather* A Mama's Blog- A Mama's Blog

it's probably not about breastfeeding after all

madeintaiwan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:07:58 -0500

I think these differences may be more about lifestyle choices than about whether or not to feed your child. Some people can't get past seeing a female nipple while others could care less, some people are strict on schedules while others live a laissez-faire way of being, some want silence in fancy restaurants and others enjoy a boisterous life... what to do, what to do... potato, potahto. Ultimately, it's our right to nurse our children in public so like it or not, that's the way it is. And I think it's important for me to remember context - I'm lucky to have these discussions, I'm lucky my baby is healthy, has medical attention if need be, I'm lucky I can afford tylenol and don't have to fear that my baby will die of fever, I'm lucky my baby won't be one of 40,000 children who die each day from hunger. In that context, I really don't care if people think it's appropriate to nurse in public or not - healthy babies, that's the focus always, and everything else is secondary.

http://watermelonmama.wordpress.com/

This is another view on the whole debacle...

Crunchy Carpets — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:20:09 -0500

http://www.canada.com/vancouvercourier/news/opinion/story.html?id=ddbbc3...

Lactating activists milked H&MMark Hasiuk,
Vancouver CourierPublished: Friday, August 15, 2008

On
Aug. 7, more than 50 lactating women descended on the Granville Street
H&M clothing store to protest the treatment of Manuela Valle, who
two days earlier was banished by store staff to a change room to
breastfeed her two-month-old daughter.

The protest was dubbed a
"nurse-in," a spastic eruption of X-chromosomes in a clothing store
known for two-for-one T-shirts and Madonna-inspired design. Lactating
protestors, many with suckling baby in hand, held placards that read
"Babies for Breastfeeding" and "Get a room? Human rights mockery." The
controversy made national headlines and served as a rallying cry for
breastfeeders everywhere, who feel slighted by society's paternal
squeamishness.

In an effort to stop the bleeding, H&M
released a statement. The company congratulated breastfeeders for their
selfless perpetuation of the human race and opened its doors to
lactating women worldwide.

Email to a friend Printer friendlyFont:

var addthis_pub = 'canada.com';

function textCounter(field,cntfield,maxlimit)
{
if (field.value.length > maxlimit) // if too long...trim it!
field.value = field.value.substring(0, maxlimit);
// otherwise, update 'characters left' counter
else
{
var divLabel = document.getElementById("divLabel");
divLabel.innerHTML = maxlimit - field.value.length + " characters remaining";

}
}

"We
apologize. And it seems to be a miscommunication and a
misunderstanding. Our policy is to allow breastfeeding nursing mothers
to breastfeed or express milk freely in our stores," said H&M's
embattled corporate spokesperson Laura Shankland.

Following her
statement, Shankland spray-painted a pink, inverted female sign on her
office wall, burned her bra and launched into an impromptu rendition of
Ani DiFranco's "Not a Pretty Girl."

Well, not really. But she released the statement.

H&M
staff will be retrained to reasonably accommodate the company's
consumer base. The storm has subsided, and it's back to business as
usual. But only because the company caved quicker than an IKEA baby
crib.

Despite its humourous overtones, the controversy raised
serious questions about the rights of private businesses versus the
whims of retail consumers.

Of course, when H&M staff asked
Manuela Valle to take her baby (and her breast) to the change room,
they did nothing wrong. As a private business, H&M reserves the
right to handle its customers within the confines of Canadian law.
That's Capitalism 101.

According to Section 8 of the B.C. Human
Rights Code, a person must not be denied any accommodation, service or
facility customarily available to the public because of race, colour,
ancestry, place of origin, religion, marital status, family status,
physical or mental disability, sex or sexual orientation. Nothing in
there about breastfeeding. Valle apparently knows this, which is
probably why she threatened to contact the B.C. Human Rights
Commission, a quasi-judicial organization that specializes in
groundless cases based on political ideology.

H&M's error lay
not in the realm of legality, but rather in the court of public
opinion. Valle tapped a populist sentiment amongst her lactating
sisters that threatened H&M's bottom line. Capitulating made good
business sense.

But what about H&M's duty to its other
customers? The staunchly religious, whose particular sect forbids
public nudity. The squeamish or breastophobic, who prefer a definitive
line between off-the-rack retailer and nursery. What about their
expectations of comfort?

H&M also set a dangerous precedent
and exposed itself to future aggrieved groups of all stripes and
persuasions that may choose H&M outlets to practice their own brand
of necessity. Imagine a group of Salafi Muslims kneeling before Allah
in H&M's men's clothing section. Or a woebegone narcoleptic who
seeks shelter at H&M for his afternoon nap.

No matter what
future controversies await H&M, nothing will match the brute force
exerted by legions of lactating women. Valle and her band of
breastfeeders demonstrated the awesome power of maternal instinct while
exhibiting a zeal rarely seen during public protests. The
women--powered by hormonal intuition as old as life itself--seemed
uninhibited by intellect or social mores, and unswayed by cultural
inventions such as business sovereignty and consumer choice. Their
impulse to protest wasn't medieval, it was prehistoric.

Indeed, the Great H&M "Nurse-in" of 2008 reestablished two age-old axioms:

1) The desire of a private business to remain autonomous may sometimes clash with its viability in the marketplace.

2) Don't mess with lactating women. (Although most guys already knew that.)

mhasiuk@hotmail.com

Allen Garr is on vacation."

Again..I think there is a middle ground..the squeamish need to adjust or just not look and mom's need appropriate places to feed their babies...no shame..but plunking down in the middle of a store or whatever is NOT appropriate ..it is a private place of business...she could have followed her husband to the fitting rooms where he was trying on stuff...no?

But sitting in the mall to feed..sure...in the food fare...sure....

Feeding babies is a right..but again...the guy SORT of has a point

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

And finally . . .

Wyliekat — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:49:23 -0500

A round of applause for everyone who is making wine from potential flames. *THIS* is how community thrives!

I think the nicest thing

Wyliekat — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:47:28 -0500

I think the nicest thing anyone ever did for me when I was a public breastfeeder was actually make eye contact with me. Or maybe even smile.

This is as opposed to the way everyone else treated me - their eyes slid around me as though I wasn't even there. Better than some of the possible reactions, I suppose. But someone smiling? Saying "Hey, I see you?" in that absent way that strangers do?

I actually appreciated that.

Now, when I see a breastfeeding woman, I smile at her, to give her the courtesy of recognizing her place in society.

Middle ground is for losers.

Wyliekat — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:42:33 -0500

Not going to flame you, but I am going to (respectfully) disagree. Not because I would personally choose to breastfeed in a high-end restaurant. Frankly, if I'm going out fancy, it's because I've got a kid-free night and I want to be tarted up to the nth degree.

However, what if it's a family celebration? What if it's ma and pa's sixtieth anniversary and the whole family is going to a fancy restaurant to celebrate? Does the breastfeeding mama stay home, because her child can't order steak tartare as yet?

Breastfeeding shouldn't limit your dining choices, or your life choices, really. If someone needs to/wants to be in a high-end restaurant and breastfeed their child, well - that's life. I've watched more than one elderly drooler spit up half remains of their dinner on their fine suits and nobody's asked them to leave, you know?

I dislike how contentious this issue is. I dislike that there is anything at all to debate. I'm sad to see that there's an angry left that accompanies the angry right.

Evidently, middle ground is for losers.

I'll stand by your side and

ByJane — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:13:01 -0500

I'll stand by your side and take some of the hits, GeekMommy, since the tomatoes have already been hitting me and I SO AGREE WITH YOU.

By Jane

http://byjane.blogspot.com

http://midlifebloggers.com

Oh I'm about to post a totally unpopular comment...

GeekMommy — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:01:20 -0500

There are actually two separate issues here and I think that they're incorrectly being merged into one.

a) Is it a mother's and baby's right to breastfeed anywhere they need to? Absolutely.

b) Should a baby of that age be in a fancy restaurant whether breast feeding, bottle feeding, or not needing feeding at all? in my book? Absolutely NOT.

I live by my words - but I know others don't.

We never took our daughter out to restaurants of a certain caliber for dinner when she was that age. We *gasp* hired a babysitter or had my MIL baby sit or a close friend if we were going out to someplace where the price was high and it was clearly not a 'family friendly environment.'

So it was more than a little annoying when I was paying someone else to ensure that my husband and I and sometimes others could have a nice, relaxing, baby-screaming-free dinner to have someone else at the next table believing that it was fine for the rest of the restaurant to have to put up with her screaming infant because she wasn't going to either stay home with her child or have someone else take care of it when the venue wasn't appropriate.

Do I care if a woman is breast feeding in Denny's or Sweet Tomatoes or any other middle-of-the-road establishment? Nope. Do I care if she is at 10 pm at night in a $50 per entree restaurant? Well it's not the breast feeding - it's the "Why the hell isn't your child at home in bed asleep at 10pm??" that gets me riled up.

I know that this isn't how everyone functions. My own family and I have gone rounds on it, because my brother's wife saw no reason not to bring her daughter everywhere and anywhere with them at any time of day or night. They had issues when I refused to bring my daughter out to 'nice' restaurants past her bedtime when she was still an infant... they still don't get why I won't do it now that she's 5 and can behave like a lady in restaurants. Because it's PAST HER FREAKING BEDTIME.

Sometimes, it's not about breastfeeding, it's about wondering why I'm paying for my sitter and my dinner only to have to deal with a Mom who is self-absorbed enough to think that her baby and everyone else around her should accomodate her in order for her to be there too.

Okay - putting on my flame-retardant suit. Sigh.

Lucretia (aka GeekMommy)

Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl