BlogHer - Postpartum Depression - Comments

Pregorexia

centerforeatingdisorders — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:24:48 -0600

Thanks for the great entry on pregorexia. It seems like everyday more and more “rexia” terms are popping up. The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt recently wrote an entry on their blog about “pregorexia”. They agree that while the media definitely plays a role in the development of eating disorders, most “pregorexics” had body image and disordered eating issues long before their pregnancy. Be sure to check it out here: http://eatingdisorder.org/blog/2008/11/18/the-truth-behind-%E2%80%9Cpreg...

It is amazing what getting

Kian Yamaguchi — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:03:14 -0600

It *is* amazing what getting a full night's sleep will do for you. My baby (the youngest of my 7) is 18 months. I stopped nursing him at 16 months. I got a full nights sleep shortly thereafter and lo-and-behold, I'm nearly human again.

I still can't get anything done with him and his 3 year old brother hanging on me, but at least I'm sleeping.

Good luck!

http://mamafasha.blogspot.com

http://MKSkinCare.myarbonne.com

Leave Hate Out of Your Life

Creatively Belle — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:55:46 -0600

I'm not a big fan of the celebrity culture but I don't get all the negative talk about another woman trying to say something constructive.

Yes, we all lead different lives and we do tend to have the shared experience of being really busy (well I don't know anyone who isn't and all the posts here are from busy women) but why bother being negative?

So what if what a blogger (celebrity or not) is talking crap or not - why have a go at them? How about instead finding something positive to say about it?

I have a friend who's great at keeping a clean, tidy house with a bunch of flowers - she's survived breast cancer and has decided living that way makes her feel better so she makes it happen.

I'd like to live in a tidy place with flowers but it only happens sometimes and that's fine. I do exercise regularly and that's for me and my family - healthy exercising and eating reduces cancer and heart illness risks by 85% and I'm too well loved not to do it.

Maybe having a celebrity say the same thing will encourage even one other mother to put herself first sometimes so the family benefits from it? Maybe it isn't for everyone to hear this message from her but so what? Find something good to say and say it with good grace, leave hate out of your life.

Kind regards,

Belinda

Great Earring Holders - great presents and no more messy jewelry tangles!

I hear ya!

Chrystibella — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:59:52 -0600

I was going to say the same thing about men being fixers. I have learned that before I even comment on a TV show we are watching to say.... "Now DON"T change the channel, but....."

I have told my husband many times when I was depressed that I don't expect him to fix me, just listen. He's pretty supportive but I do hear what you were saying.

What I hate the most is getting into a routine of sitting in front of the TV when I'd rather go for a drive or do something else.

As for your husband, he probably feels like a failure if you are not happy and he can't fix it.

JC gave excellent advice. Made me feel better. LOL! I'm depressed because my son is moving away for college. Empty nest syndrome has hit me like a brick.

I hope you feel better.

~ Chrysti

http://Chrystibella.com

Never been preggers but...

luiyuming — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 00:43:24 -0600

I don't have kids but looking and <i>being</i> like Gwyneth Paltrow is also not achievable for ordinary women who are childless.

~~there's wanderlust in my soul, pep in my step, and lotsa love for the big plan called Life~~

Am I missing something?

norarachel — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:13:12 -0500

I would want to hear the context for the quote - did Emma Thompson say - and people who get an epidural or have a c-section are less impressive? From just the quote itself, I don't entirely understand your pique. So she counts this as one of her accomplishments, that does not imply that she looks down her nose at people who did it differently. I am proud of my labor, just as I am proud of not running off and joining the circus when my daughter turned into a crazy toddler.

I have made a lot of parenting decisions that make me feel good abot myself. This in no way implies that I think that people who make different choices are inferior. I'm just happy with what works for me. This all feels like a bit of a tempest in a teapot.

http://www.nonlineargirl.com

Yes, yes and yes!

Fairly Odd Mother — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 21:07:46 -0500

I've had three kids: the first was an emergency c-section; 2nd was a long, and slow labor with a lovely epidural and some 'please stop throwing up' drugs; 3rd was totally natural, but super, super fast. All three were amazing experiences and I could NEVER say that my son's birth was a bigger 'achievement' b/c I didn't have drugs!

Just holding a newborn baby in my arms was the most amazing achievement, each and every time.

Fairly Odd Mother

http://fairlyoddmother.blogspot.com

My first pregnancy I had

Hey Jen — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:49:12 -0500

My first pregnancy I had every intention of having a natural birth, no drugs, but then I went into labor and after 24 hours of labor with no progression despite having been induced...twice, I opted for the drugs. after another 48 hours I was opted for the epidural and by day 3 they did an emergency c-section on me.

With my second labor, I had a great doctor who informed me that I didn't have to have another c-section so i was ecstatic, but then my labor started progressing the same as the first, by day 2 I was given an epidural and day 3 I gave birth, but thankfully not c-section.

as of right now there is a strong possibility of being pregnant again (ugh 2-week wait) and I can say that I am opting for a c-section right out the door. I will not go through labor like that again. despite the fact that I became extremely ill due to my first c-section.

Sure I give props to people who do it without drugs, but I give props to anyone giving birth and then surviving the teen years. My oldest is 11 and turning 16 next month, but I remember what my teen years were like and I give mad props to my mum for not murdering me during those horrid years.

I do think you are being too harsh

smd042 — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:44:16 -0500

Childbirth is of course, an accomplishment no matter how it happens. I don't think Emma Thompson was trying to say otherwise. But there is something very empowering about being able to go through the process drug free and I don't see why that can't be celebrated. I have had three kids without epidurals and what does that mean? It means I could have been a pioneer woman. It means I wouldn't have died in childbirth. And thank goodness for everyone that we have modern medicine and epidurals and stuff so that a lot more moms and babies make it though the process.

I think you are overreacting a little bit. I don't think her comment was meant to belittle or devalue other births. I agree with Atena, that Emma can define her victories any way she likes.

Oh My! This is a Touchy Subject!

themommykelly — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 22:49:20 -0500

First off, let me begin by shouting out an emphatic "go, sista!" to Catherine for posting these thoughts and initiating such a tremendously interesting discussion. KUDOS! What could be more dear to a mother's heart than the birth of her child? Honestly, I was eyeing this link on my blogher ad for two days! I am so glad that I did not resist the urge to click over!

There is no doubt that every mother has the right to consider the birth of her children an accomplishment. Carrying and birthing a baby is no easy task no matter what the circumstances. In the same way, neither is it an easy task to choose not to have children at all, or to adopt or to suffer the pains of infertility. We'd all like to believe other people's lives easier than our own when that is, indeed, not the case!

There is also no doubt that a woman's flaunting her "natural birth" as a means of trying to make another woman feel less of a mother is entirely ridiculous, not to mention, rude. No woman's accomplishments should ever be flaunted in a manner that purposely diminishes the accomplishments of another. After all, what are we, men?! Anyone who engages in that kind of flaunting behavior needs a reality check or a good psychatrist, as she clearly has an inferiority complex!

That is to say then, that if I, as a mother who birthed all three of her children via c-section (the last one less than three months ago) allow the rude behavior and comments of ignorant women to diminish the pride or joy that I take in being a mother, how that came to be OR my decisions about the manner in which I raise my children, then I am allowing that person to diminish the beauty of those precious moments and my memories of them. Time spent in resentment is time ill-spent!

While a cesarian section was not a choice I made in delivering my first, I am proud to say that it WAS entirely my choice with my doctor for my second and third babies. Becoming a mother is an exciting experience no matter what. Every mother who chooses what's best for her baby is making the right choice when it comes to the manner of birth! However the child makes it to the light, the child makes it and graces the world with her/his presence! And for those of you wondering, yes, the endorphins flow just the same with c-section births! No matter how much morphine they pumped into my system, sleep was not an option for me after the birth of my girls.

What we are really talking about here is not the argument of natural vs. unnatural birth, but simple common courtesy. Let's stick together and respect each other, trusting that every mother wants what's best for her child and chooses just that.

Stepping down from the soap box now.

Read the narrative (beginning 10/07/2008)of my third daughter's birth here.

Please Don't Assume

Amanda B — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:24:10 -0500

I was totally with you up until you said: "I don't think the ecstasy biology kicks in so hard if drugs are used." People who have given birth naturally seem to assume to know how we who have had epidurals and other interventions feel. Don't assume to know our experiences - IMO I think that's the point she's trying to make. I bonded with my children easily, even though I had epidurals and pain meds. They nursed for over a year.

Thank you for posting this - I had PTSD after the birth of my son - but it was from the pregnancy. I cried at the thought of becoming pregnant again for three years after I had him, I couldn't bear the thought of the hip ligament pain and the lack of sleep it caused, again. He was a big boy (9lb 15oz) and had a 90 percentile head - I was so thankful for the epidural - it was the first time I hadn't been in pain in 45 days.

I finally found someone with a story like mine

mamalang — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:25:18 -0500

My first childbirth was very much like taycesmom, except longer times. And a nurse and doctor that told me I was getting an epidural so that I could survive to have the child. My second childbirth was scheduled csection. I don't do child birth well (almost died both times, literally) so surviving it was an accomplishment for me. I do agree that everyone has the right to define their own accomplishment, and I don't think (from the little I see here) that Emma was trying to project her sense of accomplishment on all women. But I also understand the need to jump in and defend myself for my sense of accomplishment, as I have been made to feel less motherly for having had to have csections.

It constantly amazes me how much of motherhood is a seen as a competition between us, instead of us supporting each other and our choices.

mamalang

I guess I have the opposite

Emmy M — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:02:16 -0500

I guess I have the opposite problem. I have had a tough non-medicated birth and everytime I say anything people get defensive. Ahhhh! Guess we all need to chill out like you and just own whatever experience we were blessed with!!

ooooo I TOTALLY agree

apathetic bliss — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:02:16 -0500

ooooo I TOTALLY agree with geeky mummy! what she said

I agree with Atena and Emmy

apathetic bliss — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:01:07 -0500

I agree with Atena and Emmy M. Childbirth and mothering is an accomplishment whether or not it was drug and intervention free. I feel a lot of drugs and interventions are unnecessary and overused but I also recognize the importance of both the drugs and interventions when in certain situations. As long as the babes arrive safely and healthy...who cares? I have had all of my children drug and intervention free as well as at my home. I consider giving birth my greatest achievement but in no way think another woman's "intervened" or epiduraled b irths less of an achievement.