BlogHer - infertility - Comments

Surgery isn't bad.

nleisher — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:15:25 -0600

Hi there. I have a lot of experience here. I was diagnosed with Asherman's syndrome last year after ttc for my 3rd child.

Quick rundown: I spent 20 cycles trying to conceive before I ended up finally pregnant through the IVF/FET process.

I had 4 uterine surgeries for the scar tissue removal. Each time the scar tissue got better but it did take 4 surgeries. This is NOT a hard thing by the way, I was only "out" for one day each time. The problem is scar tissue is created from surgery, so I was in a vicious cycle - even with the estrogen to help build lining so more scar tissue wasn't created.

I tried 4 IUIs before moving to IVF once my "oven" was completed.

My IVF was cancelled due to lining issues, which as you know, is the issue even after the scar tissue is gone.

I went forward with FET even with horrible lining. I tried all the meds to increase my linings, finally getting it to a mere 7mm with LOTS of meds (including injections). But we pushed forward and tranferred 4 embryos, happy that one stuck to my crap lining.

I spent 39 cycles all together ttc and I have 2 children and a buldging belly to show for it. Don't let Asherman's syndrome get you down, in fact, if your doc is going to try to break through it with a saline songoram, it's not bad at all. My uterus was 70% sealed shut with scar tissue. Believe me, if I can get past this, you definitely can.

http://thenewlifeofnancy.blogspot.com

Know why this post makes me feel better?

bestlight — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:31:00 -0500

Because maybe there is someone from my past who would also want a do-over with me. And you are speaking for her.

Thank you, Denise.

Weebles Wobblog (http://weebleswobblog.blogspot.com)

Drama 2B Mama (http://drama2bmama.blogspot.com)

All Thumbs Reviews (http://allthumbsreviews.blogspot.com)

Wonderful story

PunditMom — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 19:56:50 -0500

As someone who who went through fertility issues and ended up adopting the best little girl in the whole world (!), thank you for this. I've had so many conversations with people who have judged me for not making the same decisions they made about how far to go and when to stop taking fertility drugs. Your words and thoughts about infertility mean a lot to this mom.

Thanks my friend...

Pamela Jeanne — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:41:38 -0500

...for taking the time to contemplate and write honestly about your experience. It would have been far easier to place the blame at your friend's feet as many are inclined to do. For example, in a review of recent search terms that brought people to my blog was this gem: "how to get your barren friend to stop being a weird bitch"

Um, yeah, that's the way many people view their infertile sisters. It's only when someone takes the time to really wrap his/her head around the physical, emotional and societal challenges that infertility delivers that real understanding and compassion can happen.

I blog about infertility exclusively and appreciate that it's an awkward and difficult topic. At the same time we've got to start somewhere right? Thanks for joining me in raising awareness. Now I'm off to create a post that links to yours. It will go into my "act of kindness category."

Pamela Jeanne

http://www.Coming2Terms.com

My sister and I have been talking about this.

Alanna Kellogg — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:58:02 -0500

She and her husband had trouble -- many years -- of getting pregnant, the "only thing" beyond an antebellum wedding dress that she wanted for soo many years. Her family "knew" but really, we didn't, not the depths of it. She says that it's rare for women living with infertility rarely talk about it DURING it. I know another very close friend didn't, I only knew months later, when they'd given up. Our other close friends still don't know. During the years when our other friends were still getting pregnant, every time there was another announcement, I would watch her, she'd just shrink small.

Alanna Kellogg
Kitchen Parade &
A Veggie Venture

You have me bawling,

Melissa Ford — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 13:59:06 -0500

You have me bawling, Denise. I think this is an amazing post--one that gives me a glimpse into the other side while taking PJ's challenge to a much deeper, educating space. I hope people grab your do-over; or, that L gets to see this post and understand that it wasn't something that was never on your mind; unnoticed. It was something that you simply couldn't put into words.

Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

This line "We're parents who

Melissa Ford — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:58:28 -0500

This line "We're parents who have yet to find children." is just so damn true for you two. I'm sending you so many good thoughts on this journey.

Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

IVF appointment

jaymee — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:40:28 -0500

Congratulations on taking the first step. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. I would love to tell you that it is all sunshine and roses from here, but you know better. My best pieces of advise, educate yourself and gather up a big support network. IVF is a wild ride, but so worth the journey.

http://babygiddings.blogspot.com/

IVF

BERNTHIS.COM — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 01:35:39 -0500

I went through much of what you went through and ended up with a beautiful daughter who just turned five. Day at a time, that is the best piece of advice I can give you.

Your first IVF appt.

Deathstar — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:59:19 -0500

Having been through IVF, I just wanted to let you know that all your feelings are perfectly normal. It's not an easy road and it can be really tough because you feel so alone. Blogging can be very helpful throughout the process so you are doing a good thing for yourself.

Deathstar

awomanmyage.blogspot.com

Not sure which is worse...

Pamela Jeanne — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:59:00 -0500

...the term "childless" or "childfree." They're sadly among the many judgment laden descriptors tossed about as though having or not having a child validates or invalidates our existence. Not surprisingly these adjectives are among the many ordinary and not so ordinary things that infertility has led me to contemplate.

Pamela Jeanne

http://www.Coming2Terms.com

Thanks for the information

Southerngirl — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:21:29 -0500

I have never struggled wiht infertility and cannot image what it would be like. But I remeber a talk with a co-worker whose wife was going through this. It still makes me angery that he made it very very clear to me that this was his wife's problem and not his. But he was trying to be as understanding as possible! I could not help but wander whyit was so important for him that everyone know it was not him that had problems. They were a couple and this was their journey together. I don't know if they were ever able to conceive I do remember thanking God that he was not my husband. (not that the one I had was a prince either)

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

amen

piccinigirl — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 09:29:55 -0500

excellent post ! I too am VERY OPEN about our infertility, and our use of various methods, medications and dr's in our struggle to conceive, I also am quick (probably too much so) to point out things to the fertile public from everything to procedures, to how the mom's side of your famiy determines twins and not your dad's. It get me lots of dirty looks but I feel like if I'm educating you , then sooner or later the media and all the people give us our information will catch on and start using the right terminology or at least telling the "real" and "correct" story of IF.

I am not ashamed about how I conceived, or why I took this road. I find that the more people I have behind me the less I have to worry about who is standing in my (and other's women's) path.

Well Put

MommyNamedApril — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:52:15 -0500

I'm very open about the fertility issues we've had and am always disappointed when other women try to hide theirs like it's a dirty little secret. This is life, ladies. Not everything is fairy dust and sugar coated.

I was recently at a party with my husband where we ran into a friend of his from college who we hadn't seen in several years. His friend and I got chatting about babies and pregnancy and he told me his wife was very distressed because they had been trying to conceive for several months with no luck. I relayed our past troubles to him and provided some resource suggestions. When his wife returned to our table, he excitedly told her what we were chatting about - big mistake - she shot him a look that said 'change the subject immediately' and did not speak to me for the remainder of the night. I felt terrible for making her uncomfortable, but at the same time wanted to scream it's OK to be human!!!

Sorry for the rant... I appreciate your post.

April

www.AprilsLittleFamily.blogspot.com

Love me, Love my hormones

greatplanner — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:22:04 -0500

I think that they're may be something to this birth control study. I mean they do have certain levels of hormones in them. Who's to say how well they mix with a woman's existing levels of hormones. If given too much could it possibly cause her to alter her ability to think rationally. If there are studies that show that women taking birth control have decreased sex drives then why not the same for picking Mr. Right.