BlogHer - Depression - Comments

Adrienne: I missed my one chance to talk to you

Elisa Camahort — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:25:27 -0500

I was actually looking for you all weekend to check out your toesies :)

I saw you at Ruby Skye, but you seemed to be talking to someone, and I didn't want to interrupt. So, my perception was that you were way too busy having a real conversation to bother you about something as frivolous as a pedicure :)

And then I never saw you again. Sorry I missed you!

Elisa Camahort Page
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.com

My BlogHer profile truly shows you everything I do online...Check it out!!

UPDATE

Adriennevh — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:50:48 -0500

I got amazing support from so many people. I think writing this post was the best therapy.

I did go to Macy's and I had a very good time. I did go to Unconference and I think I got more out of those sessions than the entire conference, mainly because I was more relaxed and I do better in smaller groups.

I can't thank everyone enough for all the hugs and the handholding.

It didn't help that I was very "hormonal" this weekend.

Hey you!

hrwench — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:40:39 -0500

Hi Adrienne,

I had no idea you felt this way while at BlogHer 08. We talked at the Ruby Skye party and at the Unconference. I thought you were a doll! You seemed cheerful and fun and I'm really surprised to learn that you felt so miserable. For reals!

I get down right sweaty in crowds. I'm a one glass of wine type person. The sheer DIN of 100's of conversations going on at once during the conference gave me a headache, made me feel overwhelmed and I had a hard time "unwinding" enough to get to sleep at night.

But you know what? I still had a blast. And part of the reason that I had a blast is that people like you were kind and welcoming to me. Thanks for that.

I, too, had a couple of weird / not so great interactions with a coupld of people. But the good experiences far outweighed the bad.

Like Anissa, I will be at BlogHer 09 and I hope I see you there, too!

HR Wench

You can't force it

AnissaMayhew — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:33:54 -0500

I wish the event was all that you'd hoped it would be. How disappointing for you, leaving you feeling less lke part of the community than you ever did. Not that it's high school, but there will always be a wide chasm between the ones who feel comfortable putting themselves out there and the ones who are too shy. If you read Her Bad Mother's post about her breakdown at Blogher, you'd see that no matter how "popular", regardless of your "social status", there are moments that everyone feels naked and alone, even in a crowd.

I truly hope that you DO go to'09, because I wasn't able to make it to '08 and i'll be more than willing to hold your hand and help drag you kicking and screaming into the fun that's there to be had. Chances of meeting IRL are slim as I am in FL and you're in CA, but that doesn't mean friendships can't be built.

Anissa Mayhew

www.hope4peyton.org

www.onevoiceproject.ning.com

I Remember You

Lizanne — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:04:25 -0500

I believe you asked me for directions, on our way out of the hotel or at Macy's, I'm not sure which. You have a lovely smile and sparkling eyes. I haven't started my blog yet, but I will keep an eye on you . I hope we can chat for longer the next time.

Lizanne (zanaru on twitter)

I have been looking for you!

Denise — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:52:42 -0500

And until the childless session I did not know what you looked like. I was sitting behind a pole and I actually got up to see what you looked like so I could try and find you again.

Alas, I haven't seen you since. And I looked. And I hope you do go to the Macy's thingy and if you see me before I see you - that you'll come up and say hi. Just say hi. That's all you have to do, after that I'll talk your darn head off.

I know it's hard. Well I sort of know but I guess not really because I'm not an introvert. I don't really love crowds and I hate noise and clubs but I can talk to anyone, if I want to (or have to.)

Say hi, if you see me before I see you. Please.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Black Clothes

rebellious thinker — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:26:43 -0500

I'm originally from NYC, so I was bred thinking that black is the epitome of chic. But, since nothing I own, or ever owned, was in Vogue I guess I can stop thinking that black puts me into chicdom. Also, I think I like deciding in the morning what color I feel like--or what color I want to feel like. Although, I must admit that I have far too many white shirts in my wardrobe. I wonder what that says about me?

Laura blogging at www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com.

Well, I live in L.A...

Liz Rizzo — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:14:08 -0500

And we wear a lot of black for every occasion.

Interestingly, since I've been growing in my natural hair, which has quite a bit of gray in it, I've found myself drawn to wear more color.

With my black. ;)

So I don't really think of black as a down color, but I definitely wear light colors when I need a pick-me-up or a dash of spring feeling. :)

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Wearing Black

Shadey Blonde — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:30:16 -0500

I can relate to this post even though I can't really relate to your blog. I used to be in the habit of wearing black almost exclusively - and I live in the south. I fooled myself into thinking it was chic, all-season, etc but actually I was just depressed and dull most of the time. Black is also a way to avoid making that daily 'what to wear" decision that seems like an impossible decision when you're down. I've gotten better this past year and so has my wardrobe. I am much cooler and brighter this summer in corals, browns, blues, white, green and red! Put the black in the back and bring out the colors.

Shadey Blonde from http://otventing.blogspot.com

I try to respond to the "Taboo" gently, Mata...

lauriewrites — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 12:36:07 -0600

I know it exists, and I think it's important to write posts like this one that tell us it's basically okay to feel however we want to about this time of year. I wrote a post the other day on my site that addressed some of the holiday pressures, and my response to them. Basically, I say, "Do whatever you want, just don't expect everyone to be in the same mood." I have Thanksgiving, Christmas, a birthday, a busy season at work, finals, and then New Year's all in a row...I try to take energy from it, but this year I'm not in the mood.

I think I just have a natural dip in mood that goes along with the shorter and grayer days - the seasonal affective thing really gets me!

Thanks again for this.

Laurie

I hear you all loud and clear

Mata H — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 21:33:50 -0600

"in soul pain" about caps it perfectly. Y'all are right about shifting the focus, embracing the gratitudes, rallying the troops of support. It is amazing to me every year how many people are in this struggle. There is almost a cultural taboo against mentioning it.

Fortunately I can focus on packing boxes for my move this year and let that carry me over the worst of the blues humps. Some years are tough, others less. Hang in there, sisters, and feel free to come here and vent.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

Empty Nester

IAAdmin — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 21:15:19 -0600

About a year ago, I moved to LA from the East Coast, where most of my family resides. Last year's Thanksgiving, I spent with the family of a friend of mine so the holiday seem a little "normal." This year, I spent it by myself. For the first time in many years, I didn't have turkey, stuffing, or mashed potatoes.

At first, it was depressing. Who wants to spend a holiday, with so much family focus, alone. What I missed the most was the kitchen. Talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other's company. Sometimes it hard being an empty-nester.

But, as the day went on, I discovered, I was actually doing fine. I had plenty of things to keep me busy. I also spent an hour on the phone talking to my daughters.

Next year, hopefully, I'll be able to fly back for Thanksgiving, although, this year, I learned I can do it alone.

Lisa
Iowa Avenue
Iowa Avenue is a dynamic community connecting people in a meaningful way for a meaningful purpose. It’s about a healthy lifestyle!

I have good days and bad...

debra roby — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 20:08:15 -0600

So far I have good days and bad. For about 10 days before Thanksgiving, I was miserable. Crying and grouchy and definitely feeling out of step with the world. Not just sorry for myself, but in soul pain.

However, I had no expectations for my own Thanksgiving and I've avoided public places since then, so it's not too bad AT THE MOMENT. Tuesday I need to visit a mall. And when regular TV shows begin to be replaced with holiday specials? I'm not sure that NetFlix will be able to ship me new movies fast enough.

I'd still like to hibernate from 11/10 until the first football game begins on New Year's Day.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

I'm At Puke Level Right Now...

Gena Haskett — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 19:00:59 -0600

Is is February 15th yet? I'm fighting off the holiday depressions. I had to go into a mall to purchase needed item, a bus pass. I don't shop for Xmas or any other holiday. It was pukeable. Xmas music, families everywhere and the insistence that buying items are required for joy and fulfillment.

I'm not against any of the above (okay I can really do without bad Xmas music) but it is almost like a cultural insistence that I be happy and I must buy stuff. I should have known better than to enter one foot in Stepford Land. Some years I handle it much better than others. This year the internal crud level started way earlier than it ever has before.

I want to be in isolation but I can't. I have to go to work, I have to use mass transit and there is a part of me that really embraces her Grinch blood line so I have to dig a little deeper to manifest "cheer".

I have to get elemental about it. I think first I have to embrace the gratitudes and remember any good thing that I've archived, accomplished or did well. I really have to give thanks to those people who helps me move forward this year, real, virtual and imaginary. I can't be skimpy on the support team. We all need reinforcement.

I think now more than ever you have to hold your passions around you like a trench coat. Or take time to discover something new - I've self-medicated on the personal financial blogger sites. I'm learning and understanding new concepts that have nothing to do with this time of year.

I'm also checking out pages on TV detectives and who knows what I'll be sucking in on Thursday. You gotta find that carrot that moves you forward.

I certainly have to reconnect with Spirit which for me means finding trees, grass or a ride to the ocean.

It will be ok, eyes on the prize - January 2nd.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

thank you Amanda

laurie — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 11:24:40 -0600

For different reasons, this is a hard time of year for me, too.

I'm sure many people will benefit from your words. Thanks so much for sharing the advice and your very poignant poem.

laurie
www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com