BlogHer - balance - Comments

So many tools, so little time!

Beverly Flaxington — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:57:31 -0500

A couple of other tips that work well -- having a whiteboard in a prominent place. We write notes to each other on this and keep reminders. Also, having a "family meeting" on Sunday to review what's going to happen over the next week -- who needs to be where, etc. are a couple of tactical ideas. Overall I think "balance" comes from setting priorities and knowing what matters most to you. I have a corporate consulting firm, am a hypnotist, a college professor and a mom to three kids and 8 pets. It's critical to keep asking "Is this a priority for me NOW?" Keeping healthy IS a priority so doing things for self becomes critically important. Learning to say "no", to delegate and to give yourself and others a break is key, too. And, I believe we have to give up the idea of "balance" -- and translate it to "doing my best".

Beverly Flaxington

Blog: Dealing with Difficult People

Book: Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets

I don't believe in guilt

Denise — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:36:08 -0500

Every now and then it tries to sneak into my life but I'm very quick to shut it down. Life is too short and too busy to saddle myself with guilt. :-)

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

I am having such a hard time

lacurcio — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 12:06:44 -0500

I am having such a hard time finding "me time" My "me time" seems to only come in the middle of the night after feeding the baby or putting one of the other kids back to sleep. I sooo need some me time.

Today is my orginization day, I am taking a break from that for a minute, but I noticed everything getting out of control and now I am trying to tackle it, one little thing at a time.

Great advice.

~Lisa

http://ourhappynuthouse.blogspot.com/

Color coders unite!

moonfever0 — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:25:01 -0500

I think color-coding is just brilliant, I learned it from a friend of mine with three kids. Cool tip about checking for me time!

Angela at mommy bytes BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Heaven's no! You aren't alone!

yoktom — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:06:39 -0500

It's funny how as moms we always think we are the ONLY ONE out there that feels like we are alone, or overwhelmed, or that we just can't take it anymore! That's why support groups and places like this are so vital to the survival of "you" in motherhood. I guess that's why the topic is so highly requested by women's groups when I speak.

My suggestion - find a five minute time out spot. Sometimes five minutes is all it takes. I call it five minutes in the freezer at my house - Five minutes is sometimes all we can get, but it's a very important five minutes.

For the record, luckily none of the keys on my laptop are missing, however, I am on my third wireless transmitter for my mouse...

Tamara Hancock
www.wahpm.com
Work AT Home Professional Mom
www.widowsofwarcraft.com
(self explanatory :)
www.yoktom.blogspot.com
Diary of A Stay At Home Mom

Committing to "Me Time"

annhession — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:30:22 -0500

I love your tips, and here's one of my own: I also color code by category in Outlook, and I created a category called Me Time -- colored purple, my favorite color. That way, if I look at my schedule and there is no purple on it, I know that I have to schedule something in for myself. Whether a quick little thing like a walk around the block or a hot bath or something more like my book club or girls' night, I try to have SOME purple on that schedule every week. I'm not saying I always manage it, but it's really helped me to create some essential time for myself which wouldn't happen any other way. Try it, you'll like it!

Ann Hession, Women's Business Coach

I know how hard it is!

moonfever0 — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:39:51 -0500

Trust me, I know how hard it is to give up some control, especially with your first baby, but it is all worth it for your whole family. The worst thing that can happen is if you become resentful that you are doing it all and that you have no time for yourself. Especially if it is your own doing! Good luck and remember to step back and make time for yourself.

Angela at mommy bytes
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

What a timely Post!!!

MommyWriter — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:46:33 -0500

I was JUST mulling over this same issue of balance today! I have a planner that I use to write down all my tasks. I HATE delegating anything that has to do with the baby (except to ask my husband yo change the occasional diaper). And I have 0 me time and couple time, family time is usually just me and the baby. Sad state of affairs huh? No wonder I'm so out of balance! LOL.

-Dominique Ambassador for Christ.Wife.Mother.Black Woman.Freelance Writer.

weekend do-over

jenmorrison — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 11:32:43 -0500

It can be your plan for an upcoming weekend!

Pay attention - there's a story everywhere you go.

Nice

Denise — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:58:12 -0500

You're making me want a weekend do-over. I haven't had a weekend like that in ages.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

What a stimulating conversation

KatherineLewis — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 04:43:11 -0500

Cynthia -- It was so nice seeing you at the Womenomics talk. Thanks for the kind words about my writing.

Joanne -- I loved your post. And not just because you caught a photo of me industriously taking notes. :)

--
Katherine Reynolds Lewis
Read my articles at:
http://workingmoms.about.com/
http://www.KatherineRLewis.com/

More to come!

PunditMom — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:41:50 -0500

Cindy, Thanks for writing about the book gathering! I will be writing more this week here about it and the book (was going to last Friday, but Sarah Palin breaking news bumped it!) PunditMom aka Joanne Bamberger News & Politics Contributing Editor

Lucky!

Jill Miller Zimon — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:06:24 -0500

Sounds a like a great evening, Cynthia. Thanks for sharing the round-up of writing on this topic. It is evergreen but never really solved with any on universal act, huh?

Jill Writes Like She Talks

Book Comments

Cynthia Samuels — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:52:13 -0500

Leanne -- Those are strong observations. I haven't seen the Corporate Voices study but I know that many of these women are only paid when they work and just can't afford to leave for school plays or parent conferences, much less ask for "balanced" hours.

Many of them work for small businesses or are at least half way off the books, too, not big corporations, so that's tough. But if things are bertter than I'm aware of, I'm thrilled.

I'm leaving on a long plane trip tomorrow and will finally read the book itself. Hope to comment more directly on the content then. Thanks for your very well-informed thoughts.

Cynthia Samuels, Partner
Cobblestone Associates, LLP
Blog and Media Strategies and Content Development Online and on Television

Don’t
Gel Too Soon

Love the title

leanneclc — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:13:10 -0500

I love the title because I think "Womenomics" should be retitled "ShipmanandKayonomics"...As you acknowledge working in TV and working in a corporate office are really not the same. I know - I've done both. Flex was easy in TV (worked hard and long, but more autonomy on my comings and goings), my corporate world jaunt with flex was more short-lived and ended abruptly.

Also, if you or Shipman or Kay would simply Google "workplace flexibility" the fourth major entry to come up is: http://www.cvworkingfamilies.org/node/232 which specifically talks abut flexibility for hourly workers...such as assembly-line workers. I'm not really sure why you or they are not aware of this study or Corporate Voices for Working Familiies...an organization working on more flex for the average worker bee.

Also, kudos to your praise of Morra Aarons! Her interview with
Christine Heenan of Harvard shows what a book like "Womenomics" could
have offered. And why I'm disappointed by it. "Womenomics" simply doesn't work for me...and I've been in a microcosm of Shipman's & Kay's work world, I'm a working mom and I'm a bit befuddled at all the love being thrown their way. I like the discussion on workplace flex happening around the book but I could barely get through the intro of the book without feeling the need to speak out: http://www.careerlifeconnection.com/blog/2009/06/10/how-womenomics-got-i...