BlogHer - Infertility - Comments

Wow, Melissa

anona-mom — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:52:34 -0600

I am very moved by reading about "Sarah". I never imagined how much was involved in fertility treatments, though I have embarked in the begining stages of getting "a little help" after 4 miscarriages. Clomid... had my first hot flash just a while ago, and am questioning: How much am I willing to do?

As a doula I love birth. As a mom who had a really traumatic birth, I know that things can go very wrong sometimes. In the right setting with the right support, and when things go well, birth is amazing, but that doesn't mean it needs an audience. Women act differently when being watched in birth, and that is where there are one or two unneccessary voyers. Outcomes can be affected. But more than anything, the sacred nature of birth is tarnished when it becomes a spectator sport.

And what of the child? Just because she is not aware that the first moments of her life are being broadcast, does it not still rob her of something? Can a mother truely be present for her baby if she is preoccupied with responding to her fans during labor?

Sort of takes away a bit of the miracle of it all, doesn't it?

~Laine

Submit, submit! :-)Venting

Melissa Ford — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:32:24 -0600

Submit, submit! :-)

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

Too cool!

Laracolvin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:27:55 -0600

Notions of Identity

That's awesome :) I am a

MommaRoberts — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:07:42 -0600

That's awesome :) I am a Carolina fan but Hubby is die hard Clemson :)

~David's Wife 6/9/07~ ~Haleigh's Mommy 11/13/07~ ~TTC Baby #2 8/2008~

Go Tigers!

Denise — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:58:46 -0600

(I'm a South Carolinian and a Tiger, heh.)

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

feel your pain

aliceinwonderland — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:20:46 -0600

I just found this blog & also have Asherman's. I had an in-office hyster that showed scarring that was completely blocking my cervix. They were able to remove in office & as you said I started having my period again for the first time in months. I went back for a follow up SIS & was told my lining was thick & that I had a pretty uterus. I could not have been more overjoyed to hear that. I am still cautious though. I know it can re-form & fertility is still an issue. I am meeting w/ my dr. this upcoming week to discuss treatment plan. I feel like I'm walking on pins & needles. I'm supp to be starting this week & wish I could relax a little about it.

Thank you

JChandler — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:44:48 -0600

Thank you. It can be taken as selfish, as you well noted by the doctors response and it can also be a great comfort too, as in the example of you and your siblings supporting your mother. I worry sometimes about my being so honest about my fear and the perceptions of others; but ultimately if I decided to adopt a child it would be loved regardless beyond measure. So, would we all not be getting what we need most? Thank you so much for your insightful and helpful comment.

Getting the vaccine, getting

Melissa Ford — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:31:41 -0600

Getting the vaccine, getting the vaccine! You certainly don't want to get them H1N1 :-)

It's really a hard call if you can get your hands on the vaccine.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

Very interesting post. Im

RockerByeBaby — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:29:58 -0600

Very interesting post. Im debating back and forth about getting H1N1 for my boys... still with no final decision :( I love reading others perspectives.

Love, Amber Zrust RockerByeBaby www.RockerByeBaby.com

Blogging Infertility

mekap04 — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:42:49 -0600

It's great to read blogs about infertility journeys because you can also learn a lot about the issues faced battling infertility and you can also get encouragement and also contribute your encouragement and advice to others among the same issue, infertility.

http://gettingpregnantquickly.blogspot.com

Something that I've thought about

Karen-MEG — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:03:19 -0600

You know, when my doctor asked me why I was so, so driven to have a second child even after we were lucky enough with baby #1 (years of infertility issues), my first reason was that I thought it would be good for my son to have a sibling, and on a related note, that when my husband and I got old and decrepit, we wanted my boy to have someone to share the "burden" with. "So you want another baby so that they will take care of you?" is what my doctor asked (yeah, she's blunt that way, and of course it implied that I was selfish).

But is it really selfish, or just practical? My grandmother lived in a home and she had her grandkids (well, me and my sister) involved in setting that up; my in-laws were both in longer term care facilities and my husband and his siblings all did their part to make the arrangements happen and visit regularly etc. When my Dad was gravely ill my siblings and I rallied around my mom and took turns at the hospital to relieve or at least be there for both Mom and Dad.

So I do indeed understand this post, entirely.

K-MEG

that's what I meant to say

polchic — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:18:32 -0500

D*mn Mel, you nailed it. Thank you for taking the discussion to the next level.

Gabrielle

www.themaybebaby.com

Obsession? What?

micrimas — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:45:18 -0500

Mel you made excellent points here.

My sons were born at 36 2 weeks and did not stay in the NICU. We were very lucky for that.

I can tell you two things: "why don't you just adopt" sickens me. It basically costs the same to adopt (excepting DSS adoptions) as it does surrogacy and infertility treatments, especially in the Northeast, where it is nearly impossible to domestically adopt. There are literally no infants available. Second: Using the word "obsessed" with regard to family building sickens me. At no time, would my DH or I do "anything it took" to create a family. We tried various routes. We never coerced nor begged our surrogate to take the fertility meds that created our twins after many rounds of unsuccessful clinical IUIs. Our RE was ethical. My sons are a blessing. We would have NEVER done anything unethical at all in regards to building our family.

We would have accepted, had our surrogate not concieved, and tried to live with it. We would, had we resorted to IVF with her eggs (which was the next step had we not been successful with the IUIs finally) have only transferred two embryos.

I am an identical twin. I was born 2 months early and weighed 4 lbs at birth. I was in an incubator for a month before I was released into my mother's arms. My twin went home after a week. We were born in the 60s. Now a 4 pounder is considered a heavyweight and usually goes home if there is no NICU stay.

I have had no residual issues stemming from my premature birth, at all. I was a good student and my health was really excellent, except for my reproductive system. I never missed a day of school, my entire elementary school years. As I grew older and started having issues w/my repro system (cysts and all), I missed school in High School but you can't blame prematurity on that.

Ugh. Obsessed. That word, coupled with infertility -- implies unethical behavior that really isn't the reality for those of us who are infertile. That article bothered me terribly. Glad you wrote this.

Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo

http://micrimas.blogspot.com

Oh no, rant away. The

Melissa Ford — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:58:50 -0500

Oh no, rant away. The articles, after all, made me twitch. Especially the idea that we're all just willing to take any risk in the world (for ourselves and for the children) just because we're obsessed.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

I missed the accompanying

Melissa Ford — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:57:02 -0500

I missed the accompanying picture. The term fertility industry conjured up something sinister. And as you say, there are some clinics and doctors who fit this description, but it can't be a blanket term used to cover every clinic and doctor.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...