BlogHer - raising girls - Comments

Oh my God!

osoleomar48 — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:27:50 -0500

I'm not granny but am i probaly mother? OH my God!I've attention in next sexsual itercourses...you know..i'm 60!

Have a nice day!

You're so right

Candelaria Silva — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:59:57 -0500

My daughter has actually completed foster care training because she wants to provide a home for children whose home is no longer right or available to them.

Thanks, Nordette. It's great to be part of this blogging community.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

This news caught my eye, too.

Arpee — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:08:37 -0500

As someone going through infertility treatments myself, the news got me thinking until how old I am going to try to pregnant.

I concluded that it is definitely going to be way before 70 years old for practical reasons such as what you mentioned in the comment - the limited shared time between parents and children. You stated it frankly - who will raise the children?

Infertility Journey | The Saga of Becoming Fruitful

Nailed it

snigdhasen — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:57:23 -0500

Nordette, being raised an Indian, I am well-aware of this son fetish that continues to haunt the sub-continent.

In fact, I am not the least bit suprised that a couple from rural India should be so upset about not having a son. Besides social expectations, another reason may have been India's property inheritance law, which was changed only a couple years back to include daughters equally. It's unlikely that the new law has sunk in everywhere.

What did take me aback was the fact that this rural town couple actually had the knowledge and access to fertility treatment! Technology seems to have reached the rural sector faster than education.

All laws aside, you are right about many of us unconsciously raising our children differently. I have no brothers, so it's hard for me to compare first-hand: but my father is a super cook who had no problems helping out at home at all, so I was rather shocked when I grew up and found men of my own generation leading the stereotypical male life with stereotypical beliefs.

You are right -- the father giving away the daughter is pretty serious business back home. I had discussed this in a recent post here.

Gender roles, like charity, begin at home.

Snigdha Sen

old women bearing babies

Nordette — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 14:04:30 -0500

On who will raise these children, I always wonder that when I hear about older women bearing children, not about the child taking care of the mother so much. I hope this couple's adult daughters will be able to take care of their twin, baby siblings should anything happen to their parents.

You said:

But as traditional as they are on roles of daughters and sons towards
their parents they learned to adapt and able to raise their daughters
to be achievers ...

While writing this post, I also thought of women I know, Indian and
Asian women, who were raised with gender constraints yet also raised
to be professional women and high achievers. I think that parents can
balance a message about gender expectations and being a full human
being. I also agree with you that gender stereotyping your own
children will only stifle them.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Helping the world by raising caring children

Nordette — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:55:38 -0500

Candelaria, I think you did right by your children and also right by the world raising your children that way. They will not only be able to take of themselves better but also to pitch in and help others when needed.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Another two cents

smwomen02 — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 23:16:27 -0500

I had known Asian parents like those of Omkari Panwar who only bore daughters (not considering their last offspring). But as traditional as they are on roles of daughters and sons towards their parents they learned to adapt and able to raise their daughters to be achievers and share responsibilites towards their retired parents, even though all of them have their own families now. I think the parents that stereotype their offspring's roles based on their genders, not only suppresses their children's capabilities and dreams, but also complicating things for them.

I also second Candelaria's comment about the technology making more things possible for us, but it doesnt mean that we can apply it to just about anything we want. If I am at the age of 70's and thought of having a baby, the first thing most probably I would consider is how I can be with my child during his growing years rather than of someone taking care of me. I doubt that by 87 years old, my 17 year old child can take care of me fully. If he can, its also like taking away life from him.

Both my children

Candelaria Silva — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:19:08 -0500

I raised both my children to be caring people and to know their way around a house. They both did laundry, chores, had allowances to learn to handle money, etc. I hope that they will both be in a position to care for me in some way when I am older.

On the news that started your column - I don't think that everything we want we should have. I think that just because technology is available to enable someone that old to have a children, it doesn't mean that it should be done. I pray for a world where being a female is not considered a negative. Just because something is traditional to a culture doesn't make it right.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!