BlogHer - nurse - Comments

Feminists Not in the Woodwork

rebellious thinker — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:04:15 -0600

When I went to college in 1978 women understood that they had to be bitches to succeed--and would be called that if they didn't want to be secretaries, nurses, or teachers. And when I graduated in 1981, women were wearing jackets with football padding and skinny ties to work. Thank goodness we have gotten past needing to dress a part. Now we just need to part some more men from their very own egos that say they should be in charge and not the person who is most suited for the part.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Baffling, indeed!

An alien earthling — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:44:01 -0500

I did read the interview. What happened to Aruna after the murderous sexual assault is terrible. It's heartening to know that Pinki and her husband and other well-wishers are taking care of Aruna.

I had a few problems logging in after I forgot my blogher password, but now everything works fine.

Raj

The Why's...

snigdhasen — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:23:38 -0500

Raj, the "why's" in Aruna Shanbaug's case are indeed baffling. That's what makes the story. As I've mentioned in the story and comments, his sentences (seven years each) ran concurrently, and nobody was willing to officially file a sexual attack case.

Check out my interview with the author, Pinki Virani. That should clear up a few things. If you get a chance, do pick up the book. It's a baffling case and we'll be better off as a people if we don't ever forget what happened to her and how badly things can go wrong.

Good to see you back here, Raj :)

This is horrible!

An alien earthling — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:57:31 -0500

I was shocked to read this, Snigdha. I don't know how the scoundrel got away with such a light sentence. He should have been sentenced to life imprisonment until death! Why was he not sentenced for causing grievous injury?

Raj

Good question

snigdhasen — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:28:36 -0500

Suemamma, you've asked the most pertinent question relating to sexual abuse -- guilt. Yes, some people wondered then if this was avoidable.

Such questions are asked of a rape victim even today.

I do not know if people have told her she is not responsible for what happened to her. But from reading the book, it seems there were many who beat down any attempt to shift the blame on her. I doubt any of the caring nurses and doctors would ever whisper a single negative word into her ear.

Also, Aruna seemed to be a woman of grit. Even in those times she questioned the traditional role of a woman in Indian society. She was a go-getter. So, to me, it seems unlikely she would blame herself. But regret? That's possible. She was just a few days away from her dream life -- all planned and provisioned for. If only...

Truly death seems to be the

suemamma — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 05:11:16 -0500

Truly death seems to be the only way out for Aruna Shanbaugh. What a tragedy! I have only one question? I wonder whether any one has tried whispering to her that what happened was no fault of hers? People in a coma do hear and maybe what she screams about is not just the pain. From what I have read, one of the biggest traumas for a rape victim to get over, is the feeling that it is the victim's fault in some way. May she find peace and blessed release soon.

Yes, 7 years and why...

snigdhasen — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:02:19 -0500

I couldn't agree with you more, Nordette. This happened in 1973. How far have we really come since then with our laws on sexual abuse, conviction rates for rape and social stigma? Not too far, I dare say, at least not in India, yet. The pace is remarkably slow, despite the obvious horror of the crime.

About the seven years: According to the book, technically, he was serving 14 -- seven for robbery and seven for attempt to murder. Since he had no prior records, the sentences ran concurrently.

Another two years could've piled on for "outraging modesty". Another 10 could have been added if anyone filed a case of "unnatural offence". [Sodomy is treated as an unnatural offence by Indian law. There is a movement to decrimilinalize certain parts of the law to make gay sexual relations between consenting adults legal, but that's a different story.]

About the hospital's decision: I don't agree with it, but I am not too surprised. This was 1973 India. The book notes a conversation between nurses, where one nurse was at a loss when she was told Aruna was raped although her hymen was in place.

I sometimes can't help wondering what Aruna thinks about all day.

Seven years!

Nordette — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:02:51 -0500

Thanks for shining light on this story, Snigda. We don't want to hear about horror, but sometimes we must listen and see so we will understand how much work there's left to do to make this world better.

And the hospital thought it was better that the man get a shorter sentence that for them to deal with more unrest?

Her pain must be like a living hell.

Aruna's story will stick with me.

Nordette Adams is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is at this link.

Tragedy and outrage...

snigdhasen — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:42:07 -0500

I can't even begin to imagine her suffering, Kalyn. What if she is actually fully aware of all that happened to her and what she has lost?

And there are some reports that the man has served his term, changed his name and city and continues to work as a ward boy in a hospital. Of course, no one has confirmed that, but can you imagine?

He must be old now. He must have grown old reading all these news reports about him and what he had done.

Why am I struggling so hard to forgive him?

Amen to that

snigdhasen — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:36:48 -0500

Without a doubt discussions about her karma came up. But what about the rapist's karma?

Some said Aruna Shanbaug would live until justice was done and the man was punished for his crime.

Either way, we all want her to be relieved of her pain.

DNA testing and more

snigdhasen — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:32:28 -0500

You are right about that, Wetnap, but I am not even sure that's where the problem lay. The doctors had fiugred what had happened. But no one was willing to complain about a rape/sodomy on paper. Not the doctors and certainly not her family: the hospital seemed worried that it would further damanage their reputation (sodomy was quite unthinkable then), and the family, well.

I am not the least bit surprised that the we tend to think only about the victim -- the damage is done, so why bother?

Rape convictions are still low in India, but, yes, in this case, I guess he would be in the slammer if it happened today.

God bless her soul

smwomen02 — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:20:47 -0500

I dont know exactly what to react when I was reading through this blog. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, but to be in this torment for so long...

But still, I would want to hope that one day, just one day she'll wake from her coma and just be free from all, the physical and emotional pain.

God bless her soul.

they had no dna testing back

wetnap — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:02:11 -0500

they had no dna testing back then.

today he'd be in the slammer.

What a terrible tragedy

Kalyn Denny — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:17:25 -0500

So sad to think that the life of a talented woman has been filled with suffering like this.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen