BlogHer - Elizabeth Edwards - Comments

I dunno, the sisterhood of women looks right to me.

She Who — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:26:53 -0500

I think John Edwards was a cast iron jackass. But I don't think his mistress should have played, either. I don't think that's "encouraging women to think of everyone but themselves first," because I don't believe you're giving up something valuable when you demand that your sexual partner be free to BE your partner. I think women who choose to be the "other woman" shortchange themselves, and I believe a little bit of class solidarity (not to mention average compassion) between women does everyone good.

His nuts I'll make into a change purse, though. As an example. :D

http://www.blogher.com/blog/she-who

I Can't Be Mad At Her, But...

Megan Smith — Fri, 22 May 2009 11:12:12 -0500

I can't be mad at Elizabeth Edwards, the woman's dying of cancer after all. Whatever decisions she makes about her life are her decisions to make.

However I noted several interesting points in the Oprah interview:

Her admission that one of her first instincts after learning of her husband's affair was to protect him. I guess after so many years that's understandable, but it irritated me.
Her saying that if the child of the mistress is her husband's child, that it will have no bearing on her life. I think that might be an unrealistic assessment. But once again, the woman is dying of cancer, so she's got bigger things to worry about.
She said at one point that there should be this sisterhood of women that wouldn't allow them to do this to another woman. I've heard this argument before and whenever I do I reject it. The reason is, it says to me that once again women are being encouraged to think of everyone but themselves first. Instead, what I think should be uppermost in their minds is how sleeping with someone else's husband makes them feel about themselves. The main reason they shouldn't do it is because of how it will make them feel to do something so destructive and wrong.
Finally, that they both continued the fraud of her husband's presidential campaign with the full knowledge that this secret had to come out was disgraceful. He should have withdrawn from the race and dealt with the repercussions. He was a coward not to.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

Elizabeth Edwards is the last person I'm mad at here.

lauriewrites — Fri, 22 May 2009 02:04:03 -0500

John Edwards sucks. He's in the wrong, and even more so because he hasn't spoken out regarding his wife more loudly and vehemently since this latest news broke. Elizabeth went along on this political ride, madly in love (I believe) with a man who sold her a faulty bill of goods, and there she went. She lost a child. She got cancer. She continued to believe in a guy who believed his own son of a millworker/super perfect hair hype, and then he cheated.

She was still sick with cancer. She still had little kids. She was probably dying inside every single day. Sick. Sad. Reflective of what I believe to be the ultimate unfairness of life. How much suffering can one woman be asked to bear and still be asked to satisfy me?

How dare John Edwards behave that way? Really?

I want to believe that the Obamas haven't let politics corrode their marriage but I refuse to allow myself to have an opinion of their marriage or to care about it. They could be as screwed up as they come. I don't care. I want a stable country, led by someone who makes sound decisions. I couldn't care less (sorry, I admire her as a person, but just keeping this clear.) who he's married to or what her arms look like or whether they life each other or not. I was prepared to vote for a woman whose husband, a man I also believe to be a great leader, betrayed her in the ultimate act of political hubris and personal irresponsibility, so I've learned to separate my political judgment from my personal.

I prefer to keep the focus on a man who chose to keep his family in the spotlight and his seriously ill wife in a stressful, futile position rather than the choices that grief-stricken, long-suffering woman has since made. I have no idea what I would choose to do or feel capable of doing in that situation. I still appreciate what she tried to do and stand by my old belief that I'd have voted for her over him any day. May she achieve some measure of peace in her remaining time here, which I also hope is free from any sense of unworthiness because her stupid husband lost his mind.

Laurie

LaurieWrites

Why Be Mad At Her?

Elana Centor — Thu, 21 May 2009 16:25:32 -0500

Being mad at Elizabeth Edwards makes as much sense to me as saying the institution of marriage is in jeopardy if gays and lesbians can legally marry.

She's just a person trying to get through a public humilitation. Maybe you would do it differently. I know I hope I would do it differently but I'm not Elizabeth and as much as I love her public persona, I don't know her as a real person.

So in this situation the only thing we do know is that she and John have been publicaly humiliated.Humilitation is a powerful emotion.

They can never again go to Wendy's to celebrate their anniversary. Any fairy tale that we had about them living happily ever after is gone.

The mask of their public persona has been pulled off. We know nothing about their real lives except it seems that her husband cheated, lied and betrayed her. A lot of women have been in her shoes.

So is she being the best Elizabeth that her public wants her to be? No. She is not living up to our expectations. But then again, it's her life and if she is not playing the role in a way people are comfortable with then they don't have to listen.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

Elizabeth Edwards owes me nothing

ShoreBookworm — Thu, 21 May 2009 12:07:04 -0500

Elizabeth is a seemingly lovely woman who has been served a crap sandwich by life. She does not have to be a paragon for me. She is a human being who has suffered and most likely is still suffering. Who knows how we would behave under the same circumstances? If you think you could have done better, then more power to you. Just like Kimberly says above, I know I wouldn't have even been coherent.

Marie

www.nourishourselves.blogspot.com

www.theshorebookworm.blogspot.com

I Actually Admire Elizabeth Edwards

kdc521 — Thu, 21 May 2009 09:31:23 -0500

It's funny, I had similar views to yours until I read an interview with Mrs. Edwards in Oprah magazine. Although I think that I personally would have made different choices (in regards to staying in a marriage with a lying, cheating spouse), I walked away respecting her decision and admiring her strength as a woman. (If I were Elizabeth, I think that I would be in a ball somewhere crying out the remainder of my days...)

I'm learning that everything's not so cut & dry; black& white.

Kimberly/Mom in the City

There Is A Creep Factor About Politics and Affairs

Gena Haskett — Thu, 21 May 2009 07:03:44 -0500

I think it is that taste of power, freedom and fame that increases the chances of a political affair to happen. Professional politicians have seen this happen time and again yet something in their heads say, "I can get away with this."

A few of them do but either publicly or privately they get found out. The look like dear in the headlights and are so sorry when they get caught.

I don't understand why Elizabeth went public with this; she is still angry and I don't blame her. This aspect of her life was private and I didn't need to know.

Maybe we should be cautious about embracing any public figure.

If it should happen that, you know why you said, please don't jump. I would be shocked but not surprised. Here is hoping that he is way out of office before I find out.

I'm really hoping The Obamas are the exception.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

If you are lucky....

Lovebabz — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 21:30:58 -0500

Marriage is so much more than infidelity. They have enough history to withstand this. I hope they do. True love isn't when it's convenient, or pretty or nice. It isn't when everybody is doing their best. It is when we are at our worst. And we are not the sum total of our worst moments. Some folks can get through and move on. Others cannot. All I know is that I hope that they hang in and move forward. But then again it ain't my call to make. I don't get to sit in judgement of that woman and her choices...I live in a glass house and stones will definitely break my windows.

Yes she is smart and eloquent and amazing, But at the end of the day SHE knows what is best for her and her family...not you , and certainly not me. Yes we all can have an opinion...it is always interesting to talk about people as if we are above their transgressions, as if we could never make bad choices.

I do NOT know what I would have done in her shoes...I have a hard fucking time as it is in my own shoes. I just hope that I would try to handle it with enough grace and dignity as I could.

Women have to respect other women's choices..She's no bimbo, hoochie or baby-mama. She is accomplished and I daresay knows more about her husband than EVERYBODY else! So if she wants to honor her marriage vows...then who am I to say don't!

Love

Babz: A Life In Transition

Bianca - Humans Are More Complicated

Gena Haskett — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 20:37:31 -0500

In no way am I excusing what has happened. Nope, never and I'd add the cast iron skillet if it happened to me. I just want to point out a few things to consider.

1. A serious illness will either make you grow up or revert to childish needs. If your mate was your backbone/prime emotional support and she/he gets sick you either reverse roles or you look for a stand-in. It is not right. It shouldn't be done but we are talking human beings. Emotional, fragile human beings.

I don't care how much faith you claim to have if something or someone fills an immediate need most of us are going to step to it. Hopefully faith or reason would kick in long before that zipper is heading south but look at how many so-called people of faith have slipped up sexually.

2. How do you toss away 30+ years of a marriage? It is not easy. It isn't done capriciously. I would support any woman who said "that's it, I'm gone" just as much as I support the "stand by your man" decision.

I don't understand where the anger comes from if a woman choses not to leave her husband. The spouse gets to choose how much pain they can live with; living without her husband might be worse than being cheated on. It is a choice and I will respect that choice.

3. Love and intelligence? Can I get a show of hands from women who should have known not to hook up with a certain guy but loved him anyway?

Gena - Out On The Stoop

Smart woman

Laracolvin — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:00:55 -0500

I agree with you, Morra - we need Elizabeth Edwards! I do differ on wanting a shared ticket with both Clinton and Obama, but I admit it is because of my idealism. I am not sure how two candidates who are so antagonistic towards each other can just move on after the primary joined and united. It seems to reek of inauthenticity to me. Of course, the entire process sometimes does, as well! I do worry that voters on both sides are so committed to their candidates they will feel disaffected when one is out and won't consider the big picture and big issues. I, myself, am having a hard time thinking about it.

I also agree with Elizabeth Edwards that this campaign has unrealistically raised expectations; however, I'd like to think that raising the bar on expectations will also result in a raised bar on campaign reform...or am I just too totally naive?:)

Thank you again for sharing your interview. What a privilege to talk with her.

Lara

Notions of Identity

You & Edwards are da bomb

Jill Miller Zimon — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:15:19 -0500

What a fascinating interview post. Thank you Morra! I am so over getting to events late and missing the good stuff. ;)

Jill
Writes Like She Talks

Yes, Elizabeth is an asset

Nordette — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:31:15 -0600

Hi, Stefania. I believe you thought the issues over. :-) Nevertheless, I've noticed quite a few female bloggers in particular who spend much more time talking about how much they admire Mrs. Edwards than they spend talking about John Edwards.

People sometimes forget that she's a trained attorney and good attorneys generally know how to move and motivate other people with words and emotion. I personally think Elizabeth Edwards is very shrewd and may be more strategist than people recognize.

Also, like Westin the author, I think that voting is more emotional than rational. A candidate may have all the right stuff in his or her platform, but if something about that candidate makes us uncomfortable, then we won't vote for her/him. I think it's possible that the something to rub someone the wrong or right way may be the candidates' spouses. The "right" spouse may factor more into the campaign equation now and in the future than in the past when spouses just smiled and waved from the background and only did photo ops or supported safe issues like literacy.

"Love is liquid. Brew and be drunkards!" ~~Nordette. And here's a link to the blog.

Elizabeth is definitely a plus, but...

CityMama — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 23:32:25 -0600

It was Edwards' foreign policy plan that tipped it for me. I wouldn't base my decision solely on a spouse, but it's good his spouse is Elizabeth. BTW, I met John Edwards tonight and he is even more impressive in person. He never switched into politician mode, didn't sound canned, he was energized and focused...it was like like listening to a friend speak. I don't get that sense from anyone else.

Stefania Pomponi Butler

I blog:
CityMama
Kimchi Mamas
MOMocrats

Thank you for your support

Jennifer Satterwhite — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 22:40:46 -0500

It is no secret that I am sick about this as well. Sick of all of this. I look for the day when we women stop attacking each other and band together to support each other. But we have to make it happen.

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee | Mommybloggers | Fresh Brewed Reviews | Work It, Mom

Amen

laurie — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 21:38:08 -0500

You said it so beautifully, Babz.

laurie
www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com