BlogHer - mom - Comments

Great post and blog

prophetlady — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:08:58 -0500

I use to feel that way too, because I was a workaholic, twelve hour days and two jobs going at the same time. I also was being highly abused online that I am lazy for being home, this began the cycle again of believing I was in the wrong for wanting to provide the care for my daughter. After much discussion with my husband we knew we made the right choice.

I now feel more comfortable being at home, and making an income freelancing then I ever did when working outside of the house. That does not mean I am lazy, or miss socializing at the office with the girls!

Great and honest blog and share,

Dawn

I hate housework

MommyWriter — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:36:35 -0500

My dilemma is this, it always seems like there so much to do. I have to mop, dust, wash this and scrub that....I usually decide it's best if I just tackle one task. And that usually is all I tackle for weeks or months. And so my husband took it upon himself to help out and mopped our bedroom and living room floor. We have murphy's oil soap for the wood, which is supposed to be diluted in water. Of course he forgot to dilute it and just mopped with that and my feet stuck to the floor for days......

Dominique Ambassador for Christ.Wife.Mother.Black Woman.Freelance Writer.

Funny - I can completely

jdsteinberg — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:48:03 -0500

Funny - I can completely relate. I really liked your final conclusion and am thinking of taking similar action. Come visit me sometime at http://cheznoonie.blogspot.com

Other than that...

Grandmasunderwear.com — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:04:22 -0500

LOL! That grumpy rant cracked me up!

Bet it made you feel better also (-:

Thanks!

Melyssa

grandmasunderwear.com

What you need to know before the interview

Well said!

AmberS — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 23:17:20 -0500

I have to say a big amen to this one. Why is that moms face criticism for traveling and dads don't? Or at least not the same level of criticism. Such an excellent point.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com

I didn't really miss my son...

VDog — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:42:08 -0500

either. Sure I thought about him and sometimes had a pang of [something] when I would see babies and toddlers, but I texted my husband and focused on my purpose for being there.

I knew he was safe and well taken care of and that some seperation is good for the both of us.

I do not feel guilty for my time away.

Victoria, aka VDog
http://www.vdogblog.com
http://www.room704.us

Love the responses

cutiebootycakes — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:20:32 -0500

I am so happy to hear from all of you because for a moment there I was thinking perhaps I was not normal and needed to check my mommy gauge. Thank you for all of your responses to this post. I think many of you make the very valid point tha fathers are never questioned when they travel. I actually am glad that I learned this lesson fairly early in my son's life because I spent the first 8 months tethered to my home as much as possible and had my first "Mom's Night Out" when he was nine months old. Me time is so important for all of us and helps us to remember to validate ourselves as women -not just accept the singular title of "Mom."

Cutie Booty Cakes

Not guilty

Latonya Richardson — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 15:55:21 -0500

I'm a mother of 5, and when they were yonger, I took my children just everywhere with me. Because we have a large family, I thought all of my children on one person would be a burden. Four years ago when the youngest was five and the oldest 15, I went away to a conference By.My.SELF. It was heaven! I realized then, I needed time to be me, not Mom, babe, Mrs. Richardson... If we don't take time to rejuvinate ourselves, that means leaving the little ones behind, we're no good to them, or anyone else.

Traveling Dad = Uncaring Dad?

Vered — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 15:34:28 -0500

I'd like to see THAT title. Somehow I don't expect to see it any time soon.

----

Need to hire a blogger? I’m a mommy blogger and a blogger for hire.

I Love to Get Away

GoodByeGracie — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:02:15 -0500

My husband and I get away a few times a year and our children go stay with my mom or she comes here and stays with them if we're gone during the school year. I do not feel guilty or really miss them even. My reasoning is simple...my mom! She's awesome and I am honored my kids are able to spend that time with her. They don't miss me and I don't want them to either. So I honor them by enjoying myself and recharging while I am away.

Interestingly, my husband travels frequently for business and no one ever asks him if he feels guilty or misses the kids. Why do women place such expectations on each other? I would hate to make him feel badly for going away...he's had so many great experiences he brings home to share with us. And that's how I look at it when I go away.

*Laurie*

http://kidsinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/

Mommyhood

Julianne McLaughlin — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:51:17 -0500

It gets easier and harder when they get older. They realize you are gone...and they can punish you for it. Not forever, of course, but just enough to make you feel a bit guilty. I remember my son wouldn't look at me after I had been gone for a few days. It killed me, but he got over it and so did I. It's easier though because they are more independent and can entertain themselves which is helpful for Grandma and Dad. I think it is normal and natural to take some time off from mommyhood....you come back a better mother and a more relaxed one. Cheers! Julianne

I don't leave my kids often

Carmen S — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:26:55 -0500

maybe three or four times a year. Each and every time I go, I do what I need to feel comfortable - be it prepare meals, coordinate rides, spend extra time before, place a picture in a bedroom - and then I go. And I never, ever ever feel guilty. I also can honestly say that I don't ever miss them. Some days, I realize it's been hours since I thought about them.

I'm a wife. I'm a mother. I'm also ME. A person who likes to read, to shop, to explore a city on foot and take a nap or three. Maybe order room service, hang out at a pool or a bar or a bookstore.

And I don't think that makes me a bad parent. Far from it. I used to live exclusively for my kids, never taking time for myself. As a result, I ended up fat, depressed and contemplating driving on the wrong side of the road during rush hour.

I need the time away and my family needs a relaxed, happy with herself mom and wife.

--
Carmen

Keep posted with my life on my blogs:
Mom to the Screaming Masses - a story of one woman's insanity with her six kids
The Elff Diet - how I lost 80 pounds with a New Year's Resolution

I'm right there with ya!

VenusVision — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:12:04 -0500

It came as a big surprise to me when upon becoming a mother, I realized I didn't NOT want to center my life around my children. I love them, I love spending time with them, but I also have my own needs, seperate from them, and sometimes those needs can only be met without them. In the seven years I have been a mother, I have had six different weekends for a mommy-getaway (though one of those was actually to help care for a friend's newborn son -- which I LOVED!). The only time I had any guilt and really missed my kids was when one of them got pretty sick while I was away in Vegas. But the reality was, I wasn't in a position to hop on the next flight and go home, so I got over it and continued having my weekend of fun, knowing my husband was doing just fine without me. And of course, I never hesitate to take a girls' night out here and there.

I am a saner AND better mother when I can have a break from my kids periodically and remember that I am more than a mom, and that role does not define who I am.

http://venusvision.com

http://www.facebook.com/VenusVision

http://twitter.com/venusvision

Moms need to get a way!

kristinabrooke — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 07:47:52 -0500

Moms need to get a way! Don't feel bad about doing so either. It's one of the ways we keep our sanity and our identities outside of mommyhood.

Kristina Brooke

Email: kristina {AT} kristinabrooke {DOT} org

Gtalk: momontherise@gmail.com

Twitter: @momontherise

You may be on to something

cutiebootycakes — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 00:23:24 -0500

My son is two also so perhaps that does make a difference. Although he usually cries when Daddy leaves my mom said he was just happy to be with her and did not blink when his father left. I suppose I will have to watch and see how things go as he gets older. Cutie Booty Cakes