BlogHer - military families - Comments

Any Military moms ...

PunditMom — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:34:22 -0600

Any military moms who can weigh in? Do you think the military is flexible in these situations?

I'm with the kids

AmberS — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:44:53 -0600

I think that there needs to be flexibility and a case-by-case examination. I am thankfully not in the military, nor have I ever been, but in this situation we would be sunk. My husband works non-traditional hours as a freelancer, and we need that income to pay our mortgage. Our parents still work, and our kids are really small. There would not be any good options if I had to go away for an extended period.

So as a mom with young kids, I say that changing family situations need to be taken into account. It's not exactly fair that someone enlists (probably when much younger and in different circumstances), does their bit and serves their time, but can still be recalled indefinitely and no matter what. Is the US really expecting young men and women to sell their souls to the military?

But what do I know? I'm Canadian. ;)

~ Amber

www.strocel.com

Situation by situation...

nelle2nelle — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:46:38 -0600

I suppose.

Yes, hubby has to suck it up, but if he truly travels lots, and if his job is to call upon clientele at distant locales, well, is his employer supposed to suck it up?

As for her employer, no option to quit from that one, unlike in most every other profession.

Going back in time, the US was sympathetic to family situations, at least in terms of siblings and drafting, though I cannot give the parameters of how far that sympathy and willingness to bypass extended.

In this case, I do think someone would have to actually examine his employment and their family situation, and then work with her to arrive at a solution. In this case, kids come first - but hubby's excuse damn well better prove out as legitimate.

llhaesa

My twin brother is full-time

Liz Thompson — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 12:09:58 -0500

My twin brother is full-time Army and his unit was deployed from Ft. Dix, last month. Though, I'm relieved that he's home and training troops for Homeland Security (due to a medical condition) it's hard to see him watch his guys and gals go.

It's really hard for him, being left behind.

We spent 4th of July on base and got the chance to meet more families who deal with very difficult situations, every day. Ready to leave at a moment's notice. Leaving their kids behind. Military families are a tough crowd, but their support of each other is neverending. Thank you for your post, Shannon - I'm passing it along to my brother - and THANK YOU to all of our soldiers and their families.

FYI: I also celebrate "Red, White and Blue Fridays" on my family blog, with an Honor Wall (explaining how it all started with one blog post) and it's where I like to share stories of simple ways in which bloggers can all help show support for our military and their families.

--------------------------------------------

This Full House

This Full House Reviews

New Jersey Moms Blog

Imperfect Parent

Not Just Husbands

myrnatheminx — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:08:07 -0500

My sister just left for the second half of her deployment after two weeks of R&R. I think we need to move beyond thinking about soldiers as men. Upwards of 15 % of our militarry is made up of women who face some of the same struggles men do, but also some very different ones.

Reno and Its Discontents

“Soon Myrna’s brutal social manner had driven my courtiers from the table and we were left alone, all cold coffee and hot words.”

Ignatius J. Reilly A Confederacy of Dunc

Thanks! This is an

eyefulofcanon — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 17:05:30 -0500

Thanks! This is an especially nice collection of links for those of us that aren't living in the U.S. right now, but want to feel like we do. These ladies (and gents) do a fabulous job of reminding me why it is that I am grateful for the time and service of everyone in the military and their families.

-Kirsten

www.eyefulofcanon.com

Rebekah Sanderlin is pee-your-pants funny

Lisa Stone — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 12:12:44 -0500

...and sobering at the same time. You have to read all ten on her list, from Afghanistan as golf game to her sarcasm about voters learning the world map.

When it's not you or your family or your friend in active service -- and I have none of the above right now -- I've found it's too easy for me to forget the daily family reality behind the headlines. Thank you so much for this post, Shannon.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Thanks Shannon!

Lisa Boyd — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:47:49 -0500

For giving us a piece of these ladies and linking to their blogs! I wish I could tell all the soldiers "thank you!" I'm especially glad that they are going to share good stories from over there. It'd be nice to hear something good now and then!

It's only part of the story...

Judith in Umbria — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 06:28:54 -0600

I was a military wife left running a military family for many years. We didn't make as much money as similarly educated civilians, but we got decent health care and commissary privileges and a sort of built-in social net wherever we went. I didn't love it, but I did it the best I could. Moving around so much meant I couldn't follow a professional career and besides, at that time working wives were frowned on unless they were childless and at the earliest part of the military career.

Military spending, on the other hand, is very little about decent pay and benefits for military personnel. Military personnel can retire after 20 years with a generous pension and they often can get well-paid jobs in associated industries because they are still young and therefore work on another pension scheme. I don't necessarily recommend that someone stay in the military for those reasons, anything but, but it does ameliorate the lower salaries a bit, I think. If they stay on for 25 or 30 years, the deal gets better yet, and the jobs and seats on boards get better as well.

The real reason to sit up and pay attention to military spending is completely other. http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/01/02/military_spending/inde...
has some information everyone should know. Military spending is doing some shocking, immoral and stupid things around the world and the situation is getting worse. What percentage of those figures do you think represent pay and benefits for those military families? The sum would blow your mind. The reason to stay on top of this massive waste and scandal has nothing to do with paying military and everything to do with saving the US economy from the robber barons that are destroying it.

http://www.judithgreenwood.com/thinkonit/

Puzzled

fnm1gll — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 22:23:19 -0600

I'm often puzzled by the comments of this administrations supporters in the military, like those shown here.

She says that Republicans provide raises to military personnel while Democrats typically don't, although the current raise seems to be coming from a Democrat-led Congress, just as the Republicans were in charge of the budget through much of Clinton's tenure. And since there's been so much reported during the Iraq war about the Bush administration's use of private contractors which are paid so much more than our own military (for often doing the same work), I would think pay would be a sore point with this administration.

Even if it were true that Republicans paid more to the military, I would think that sending soldiers to war unnecessarily would trump salary concerns. And though I dislike making the point, it's not true that soldiers in Iraq are protecting our freedom. You could say they were fighting for Iraqis' freedom perhaps. I don't think our freedom was ever in jeopardy in Iraq -- even if there had been weapons of mass destruction. Even the attack on 9/11 didn't jeopardize our freedom -- it jeopardized our safety and stole many lives. But our freedom can only be jeopardized if our country and it's principles is destroyed. However, many would say that the actions of this administration in violating the Constitution is a greater attack to our freedom than any external threats.

I do think that her point about the difference in the two worlds -- the military and the civilian -- is an excellent point. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a loved one in Iraq. I have a good friend who's son has been in Iraq and she hardly slept the year he was there. I have no doubt that his service took years off her life. It's a big price to pay and it's only being paid by a relatively small segment of our population. Our country is at war in Iraq but many of us are barely touched by this event which is catastrophic to so many lives here and in Iraq as well.

Thanks for weighing in.

Rita Arens — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 13:36:36 -0600

If nothing else, this whole experience has taught me a lot about the military. I had no idea the pay differentials were so great.

Surrender, Dorothy - When I was your age, we just let them ride in the back window.

Confusion does seem to

TLSchaefer — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:41:10 -0600

Confusion does seem to abound on this issue, and it's on both sides. I'm a life-long Democrat, as *was* my husband. He "changed sides" during the Clinton era for exactly the reasons your friend stated. As a mid-level medical technician, he could have earned quite a bit more on the outside as a LVN, but instead decided to serve out his 20 years.

This year, as a retiree, he's heading more toward Ms. Larimore's viewpoint...he's looking at all the candidates (as am I) for someone who not only makes sense about overseas/military policy, but has a plan for the homefront as well.

It's a very fine tightrope to walk. Until the Bush administration, I'd viewed the two parties very simply...the Democrats tend to work on infrastructure, while the Republicans focus on foreign policy. Now, though...I'm not so sure. President Bush and Mr. Rumsfeld have been vehemently opposed to bringing both military and civilian pay standards into the "real world"...I make HALF of what my counterparts do in the civilian world. But there's a caveat...I know my paycheck is coming every two weeks, the retirement is great, and there's a feeling of family and cameraderie you just don't find on the outside...trust me, I've been there.

TL Schaefer/Keira Ramsay
www.tlschaefer.com