BlogHer - GLBT - Comments

Great review, Nordette!

lainad — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:55:17 -0600

I read it about a month ago and promptly passed it onto some girlfriends. It was well-received here during the Toronto International Film Fest.

Here is a side story about that: My friend and I went down in the early afternoon to try and get a ticket for me for the Gala but it had been sold out for weeks. There was a lineup of young black women in the 'rush' line, and we stopped to chat with them. One had been there since 9am - the galla was at 9pm that evening - and the women were all dressed up, hair done and full makeup in the hot, sweltering sun.

My friend, who works for the festival and already had a ticket told me later that despite the theatre being only 3/4 full - they reserved seats for media and barely anyone showed up, none of the rush line got it. Why?

All of the volunteers, who were supposed to count empty seats and let the rush line in, had all left their positions to see Oprah and Mariah Carey walk the red carpet. So those ladies never got to get in. Do you see the irony in this?

What I loved is that despite the horror of what Precious went through, there was a determination that shone through. She was a victim, but didn't consider herself a victim. And if she had, it would have been okay, but she preservered through out the madness. she knew that her, ahem 'father' and her mother were wrong.

Initally, what really disturbed me was the sexual abuse by her mother, but eventually I understood - not any justification, but how it could have happened.

I recently read an interview with Lee Daniels in the NYT and I have to say....it hasn't hit here yet, but based on Daniel's interview, I have to think long and hard before I see the movie. It was a great article, but I put it down not having a favourable review about him. He seems like an opportunist and it rubbed me the wrong way.

Contributing Editor - Race, Ethnicity & Culture

Blog: Writing is Fighting: www.lainad.typepad.com

Metal Writer: Hellbound.ca and Exclaim.ca

Oh heartbreaking

Wilma Ham — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:02:13 -0600

Oh, hard to imagine that someone can come out of a childhood like that sane enough to tell the story.
Oh, hard to imagine that after telling the story she is subjected to abuse once again.
Oh, how much love is needed to undo the damage.

For me Ho'Oponopono is the only way to deal with this and I will.

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

You definitely should read it

Denise — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:53:19 -0600

Really. Be brave. It's a wonderful book. Hard, but well worth it.

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

Reading Push

Suzanne Reisman — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:24:45 -0600

Last summer, my writing teacher read our class an excerpt from "Push." It was about how the other kids were cruel to her. I could barely breathe as I listened. I wondered what it would be like to try and read the whole book. Every time I see a preview for the film, I am reduced to tears. I'll read it one day, but I'm too cowardly right now, I think.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Oth

A boy who liked girls toys and didn't know what gender was

Fred00 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:29:05 -0600

I notice I may be the only male here on this website. But I found the articles very interesting and found the things comparable to my own life as a child and now as an adult. One of the earliest experiences I had when I was young, was of being given a doll. I do not know who it was that gave this to me, other than it was a neighbor. We were living in New York City on the east side. I was happy in receiving this gift. My mother did not seem to mind at all. In fact, said I could take it with us when we went out to the store. We wrapped it up, so that it wouldn't get cold. Then we went to the green-grocer. My mother said, while she was looking for vegetables, I could look for a box suitable for to put the doll in as a bed. I found one. An old orange box. It fit perfectly. We then went home. My Dad came home and saw the doll. He took it away and said I shouldn't have that. That was the last I saw of it!!! I had lost my gift! I didn't know why!

I do not see all the problem of trying to either be a man or trying to be a woman. Women, these days can wear either women's clothing or men's. Society does not bat an eye when they do this. But with men, it is looked down on, when a man wants to wear a skirt, or have a handbag, or even wear a pink shirt. Why?? I am so glad to see women here on this website who are open-minded. By the way, I am still young at heart, and still act much like a kid. (I hope I never lose this!), and I still do not see any gender differences. I appreciate when boys can wear girls clothing, or be able to play with girls toys. Thank you parents or mothers who are open-minded like this. I wish I could know you personally as friends. It would fill the void in my heart of the times and of the things I missed when I was growing up!

Push

Denise — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:03:12 -0600

I'm not sure when I first read Push. I know that TW and I bought it at Wild Iris so it would have been sometime after 2001. When we bought it, I did not know that it had been published at the same time as Deep End... I learned more about Push after reading it. I was compelled, after reading it, to find out more about Sapphire.

I think that might have been the moment when I got angry at Oprah and her book club. Why choose Deep End when she could have chosen Push? But, that's another story.

I don't think I am going to see the movie. I think I want to hang onto the way I feel about this story, based on my experience with the book.

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

Precious Indeed...

Lovebabz — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:33:27 -0600

Great post Sister!

It is unlikely I will see this movie (too close to the bone) But it is a story that needs telling. We all ought to be haunted by the subject...not paralyzed by it.

It is nasty. And it fucks with our sensibilities, but we must push on and accept the awareness of abuse. And also revel in the fact that even in the most heinous of situations love can and often does prevail. I know the story of Precious... I am she. And I am forever grateful for the folks (angels) who stood in the gaps and rescued me.

No, I won't be seeing this movie, but I will read opinions and reviews. It is my hope that there will be a renewed interest in child abuse and exploitation of children...that we dedicate ribbons and bake sales to this effort to raise awareness. It is my hope that a Precious ceases to exist...

Be loving & Be in LOVE

IS it anti-feminist? Well,

anaesthetic — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:00:13 -0600

IS it anti-feminist? Well, maybe but I'm not a feminist, really. I think it's more important to focus on how faking can cheapen the pleasure both parties could be having, really. I wouldn't say "Fess up for other women" I would say "Be honest to help yourself and your relationship."

Festivities, why not!

snigdhasen — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:58:58 -0600

Melissa, thank you for stopping by.

From your travels to India (you have a nice blog!) you must have guessed that festivitals and traditions are fundamental to binding us socially. So, it's quite understandable if couples hitherto left out of the fun will want to become part of it as a first step toward social acceptance.

We've been talking about it for a while: now it's taking legal shape. I think we will need parents' counselling badly. They are the ones who struggle real bad when children come out. But as you said, it will take time.

2 cents

melavar — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:46:15 -0600

So many times the traditions of our parents, even when steeped in archaic gender role-playing, are still held very dear to us.

Aside from the debate about the reality of the tradition, the community seems to be getting a lot of press. Good for them! India has an incredibly long way to go but, the first step towards equality is getting people to talk about it.

~Melissa

www.2girlsintheworld.blogspot.com

Not a Brilliant Chess Move

Liberal Sista — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:48:02 -0500

I found the results of Prop 8 to be morbidly disgusting! Although I am a Black heterosexual female, nevertheless I have always supported gay marriages, same-sex adoptions, as well as upholding the Supreme Court decision of Roe V Wade. Unfortunately, Christianity has a played a vital role in many Black communities. Many African Americans are physically liberal, but socially conservative. What went wrong with Prop 8 and the Black vote? A.S.S.U.M.P.T.I.O.N and BAD MARKETING! There is a smaller percentage of Blacks living in California than any other ethnicity group. There are more faith-based televised sermons advertised on BET, than MTV or VH1. There were no grassroots campaign pushing the opposition agenda of Prop 8 in Black and Hispanic urban/suburban areas. Kanye West, a rapper who has openly expressed his support for gay marriages would have been a great spokesperson for the Black community. Politics is a game of chess, and Prop 8 is just one of the 16 pieces! The Mormans understood their religious constituents. If you want to forward a faith based agenda among minorities, then target the Black churches. President Bush did this during his Presidential campaign. Trying to push Prop 8 right after the Presidential victory of President Obama {without gaining a favorable amount of attention to this subject from Blacks and Hispanics} was infantile. You want Prop 8 eradicated? Then reach out to the Black community. It's NEVER too late! I still support same sex marriages.

Here is a great chess move. According to DADI, 69% of births among Black women were to unwed mothers. Black women are the least likely to be married (more than any other women of any different ethnicity). Call the Black churches out on their hypocrisy. The older pre-Civil Rights generation do not believe that Gay-Marriage is a civil rights issue, so don't make it one! It's a losing battle! Instead create this argument, "Why are so many African-Americans concerned about respecting the institution of marriage, when so many children in Black communities are being born out of wedlock?" This would be a great debate to take on with Black pastors. A widely publicized debate on BET with pastors {like Creflo A. Dollar and TD Jakes}, would push the issue among many young voters in HBCUs (historically Black Colleges and Universities). Target the Black Gay Elite in Atlanta, Georgia to pull further resources. They are well connected to many other Black organizations and learning institutions. I hate to admit this, but the failure of Prop 8 did not lie with the Mormans or religious Blacks. The failure lied with the upper-middle class gay elite who refused to form allies with the Black and Hispanic communities. The Morman churches CAME PREPARED!

What kids watch

Susan Getgood — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:42:38 -0500

I like a couple of the shows my kid watches -- Phineas & Ferb and Wizards of Waverly Place. Most of the rest are annoying.

Here's my TV tale of the week. We were watching the end of a Bones (on DVR) last night. One of the final scenes was of two secondary characters kissing and clearly about to get down to business.

Doug said: now they're going to do sex. I looked at him and asked: what do you know about sex? I wasn't freaked out, just curious what he'd say.

His reply: Oh I know things. with a smirk.

This is my life. Welcome to my nightmare.

Susan Getgood blogs at Marketing Roadmaps, Snapshot Chronicles and Snapshot Chronicles Roadtrip.

Good point.

Rita Arens — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 12:21:09 -0500

I was concentrating on the main characters, but you're right -- there is a lot of diversity in the supporting characters. Good point.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

On Glee

nichire — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:12:45 -0500

Glee certianly has a more diverse group of people than what you mentioned. Besides the Asian girl as a main character there is a black girl, there is a Jewish girl, there is a gay boy, ther eis a boy in wheelchair, there is a Mexican football coach, and there are varing races in backgroud characters. I believe Glee is doing a good job of mixing up races and abilities.

The Show I hate more than anything

Carmen S — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 08:08:32 -0500

would have to be that incredibly offensive My Super Sweet Sixteen. That is the worst show I've ever seen. It makes me sad to see these girls who are "offended" that Daddy wanted to buy them a $65,000 Mercedes because that's a soccer mom car, and instead pick out an $80,000 Land Rover. For a SIXTEEN year old girl?

--
Carmen

Mom to the Screaming Masses

The Elff Diet