BlogHer - donor gametes - Comments

Make me an instrument

BABYTLC1 — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:22:20 -0600

Not only do we need to choose between brands, and then smooth or chucky, we have to decided what we can afford. So when it comes to IF, sometimes our choices are made for us due to lack of funds. I may want the super duper organic, wonder peanut butter that offers a satifaction guarantee, but I can only afford the store brand; one step up from the black and white label but no guarantee on the outcome.

I think at this point with DH and I both being hit with the infertility brick, I would willing sign up for a medical trial. Say the FDA wants US test subjects on this new thing that you mentioned, I would want to know where, when, and how, do I sign up for it.

I sure am glad this is analogy though, because if I really had to use peanut butter, I would be screwed... I am not too fond on going into shock... lol

I'm Organic Only

matthewmfmiller — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:20:47 -0600

For me the choice is simple: I buy organic creamy peanut butter because it's better for me and my wife, Constance. Taste has less to do with my choice than the long-term effects. I think the same thing holds true for fertility treatments. If it's better for her and for me, then it's a no-brainer, even if it's not what we wanted or expected.

Congrats on your writing...

debra roby — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 09:49:58 -0600

I had to read this article to figure out what peanut butter had to do with embryos. It comes down to present choice vs. future possibility.

I switch between JIF and the old-fashioned "natural" peanut butters, so, with time such a factor in fertility and child raising, if I had to make a choice there I'd choose whatever most successful option I had NOW that the experts near me understood and that had been tested.

Thank goodness the ability to bear children was taken away from me in my 20s, and I felt no need to countermand the decision.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

Thank You

Melissa Ford — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:14:19 -0600

Thank you for the warm welcome. I couldn't agree more with Kate W--I was using treatment loosely to mean anything you do to treat the problem: from BBT and timed intercourse and yoga and acupuncture to IUI and IVF and a world of procedures and drugs. "Treatment" definitely has a set connotation though. I wonder if there's a good word to summarize everything that goes into this umbrella topic.

And on that end, some people are also walking more than one path at once. A huge balancing act!

Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

So Glad You're Here!

polchic — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 17:47:31 -0600

Mel,

So, so glad to see Infertility finally highlighted here at BlogHer. They couldn't have chosen a better blogger/writer. I echo Pamela Jeanne's sentiments. I am forever grateful to the network and the awareness you have fostered and I can't wait to read more here. How do you keep up?

As for no donor gamete path represented on the BlogHer Ad Network, I'd love to join, but blogger applications are currently closed. :(

www.themaybebaby.com
www.fertilitynotes.com

Another clarification

Pamela Jeanne — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 10:38:09 -0600

Kate, your point is a good one. I'd also like to clarify that even when someone throws everything available at infertility -- natural and scientific measures -- there's no guarantee of success. According to a UK agency that monitors ART, only some 12.5% percent of IVF cycles actually lead to a successful pregnancy. Science is not always the answer either.

My latest post talks about why the term "childfree" when listed with infertility is so often misunderstood. It can often lead to the wrong assumption, so I will spell it out here: I didn't "choose" to be childfree, it chose me.

www.Coming2Terms.com
Pamela Jeanne

Welcome Melissa!

Elana Centor — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 05:53:49 -0600

Regardless of our age we are all touched by women who are facing infertility. I look forward to sitting at your table, listening to your stories and learning along the way.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

reply

KateW — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:12:05 -0600

I think what I mean is that you don't have to use treatments to keep trying. It may be controversial to say so, but there are plenty of people with diagnosed infertility that do, eventually, get pregnant without using medical assistance. It's definitely more likely to happen quickly if you choose to use the lovely, lovely science, and in some cases, will definitely *never* happen without lovely, lovely science- but not for everyone.
So, there is definitely a path out of infertility that doesn't rely on ARTs, adoption, or making a final decision to not have a child.
And also that there are those for whom ARTs are not an option for religious, financial, medical or ethical reasons, but are infertile and are still trying in whatever ways are acceptable to their religion, bank account, body or mind.
That's all I meant.
-Kate

Amazing, as always!

theidlemindofbeth — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:58 -0600

What a wonderful opportunity to share your (dare I say, our?) voice with a larger community. Congrats on the new column, congrats on the amazing post, and thank you thank you THANK YOU for the mention!

Cheers darlin! I'm absolutely buying you a Pomegranate Martini the next time you open the lushary!

Welcome Melissa.

lauriewrites — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:08:21 -0600

This is an important topic and I look forward to hearing what you have to say about it.
Laurie
LaurieWrites

Hi, could you clarify this?

lauriewrites — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:47:53 -0600

I'm a late-30-something with no children but a hope to have a child at some point, very new to these concepts. I thought the options mentioned here were fairly comprehensive. Just curious what you thought was left out, as I am not in the online community that you reference. Thanks!

Laurie
LaurieWrites

Great post - I look forward

ladyww — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:39:02 -0600

Great post - I look forward to more!

you know you rock

chicklet — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:03:14 -0600

Lady, I'm so glad YOU of all people get to write about infertility here. You not only bring another side to all of this in your blog, but you round us up, you help us all find each other more easily, and you've been there done that so you get it.

BlogHer couldn't have chosen a better IF representative.

chicklet from http://blurbthis.blogspot.com/

great new post!

KateW — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:28:46 -0600

Awesome! I'm so glad you're spreading the word about IF around the BlogHer arena.

Oh, and while I recognize that those are the main options for dealing with one's infertile status, it is important to note (especially in an instance where a non-IF community is also reading) that they definitely aren't the only options. Just because you aren't adopting and aren't using ARTs does not mean that you have made the decision to be child-free. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

Anyhow, yay for the great new column! And, really, thank you so much for all the hard work you do to connect the online IF community.

So glad you are here!

erstellen — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:34:27 -0600

You are one of my favorite spotlighters- you are just so wonderful & amazing and shining the light on things that are always in the dark. I so hope that this new column of yours sparks lots and lots of conversations and awareness.

Congrats!

Calliope
http://www.creatingmotherhood.com/