BlogHer - living child-free after infertility - Comments

Thank You

Melissa Ford — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:14:19 -0600

Thank you for the warm welcome. I couldn't agree more with Kate W--I was using treatment loosely to mean anything you do to treat the problem: from BBT and timed intercourse and yoga and acupuncture to IUI and IVF and a world of procedures and drugs. "Treatment" definitely has a set connotation though. I wonder if there's a good word to summarize everything that goes into this umbrella topic.

And on that end, some people are also walking more than one path at once. A huge balancing act!

Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

So Glad You're Here!

polchic — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 17:47:31 -0600

Mel,

So, so glad to see Infertility finally highlighted here at BlogHer. They couldn't have chosen a better blogger/writer. I echo Pamela Jeanne's sentiments. I am forever grateful to the network and the awareness you have fostered and I can't wait to read more here. How do you keep up?

As for no donor gamete path represented on the BlogHer Ad Network, I'd love to join, but blogger applications are currently closed. :(

www.themaybebaby.com
www.fertilitynotes.com

Another clarification

Pamela Jeanne — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 10:38:09 -0600

Kate, your point is a good one. I'd also like to clarify that even when someone throws everything available at infertility -- natural and scientific measures -- there's no guarantee of success. According to a UK agency that monitors ART, only some 12.5% percent of IVF cycles actually lead to a successful pregnancy. Science is not always the answer either.

My latest post talks about why the term "childfree" when listed with infertility is so often misunderstood. It can often lead to the wrong assumption, so I will spell it out here: I didn't "choose" to be childfree, it chose me.

www.Coming2Terms.com
Pamela Jeanne

Welcome Melissa!

Elana Centor — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 05:53:49 -0600

Regardless of our age we are all touched by women who are facing infertility. I look forward to sitting at your table, listening to your stories and learning along the way.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

reply

KateW — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:12:05 -0600

I think what I mean is that you don't have to use treatments to keep trying. It may be controversial to say so, but there are plenty of people with diagnosed infertility that do, eventually, get pregnant without using medical assistance. It's definitely more likely to happen quickly if you choose to use the lovely, lovely science, and in some cases, will definitely *never* happen without lovely, lovely science- but not for everyone.
So, there is definitely a path out of infertility that doesn't rely on ARTs, adoption, or making a final decision to not have a child.
And also that there are those for whom ARTs are not an option for religious, financial, medical or ethical reasons, but are infertile and are still trying in whatever ways are acceptable to their religion, bank account, body or mind.
That's all I meant.
-Kate

Amazing, as always!

theidlemindofbeth — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:58 -0600

What a wonderful opportunity to share your (dare I say, our?) voice with a larger community. Congrats on the new column, congrats on the amazing post, and thank you thank you THANK YOU for the mention!

Cheers darlin! I'm absolutely buying you a Pomegranate Martini the next time you open the lushary!

Welcome Melissa.

lauriewrites — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:08:21 -0600

This is an important topic and I look forward to hearing what you have to say about it.
Laurie
LaurieWrites

Hi, could you clarify this?

lauriewrites — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:47:53 -0600

I'm a late-30-something with no children but a hope to have a child at some point, very new to these concepts. I thought the options mentioned here were fairly comprehensive. Just curious what you thought was left out, as I am not in the online community that you reference. Thanks!

Laurie
LaurieWrites

Great post - I look forward

ladyww — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:39:02 -0600

Great post - I look forward to more!

you know you rock

chicklet — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:03:14 -0600

Lady, I'm so glad YOU of all people get to write about infertility here. You not only bring another side to all of this in your blog, but you round us up, you help us all find each other more easily, and you've been there done that so you get it.

BlogHer couldn't have chosen a better IF representative.

chicklet from http://blurbthis.blogspot.com/

great new post!

KateW — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:28:46 -0600

Awesome! I'm so glad you're spreading the word about IF around the BlogHer arena.

Oh, and while I recognize that those are the main options for dealing with one's infertile status, it is important to note (especially in an instance where a non-IF community is also reading) that they definitely aren't the only options. Just because you aren't adopting and aren't using ARTs does not mean that you have made the decision to be child-free. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

Anyhow, yay for the great new column! And, really, thank you so much for all the hard work you do to connect the online IF community.

So glad you are here!

erstellen — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:34:27 -0600

You are one of my favorite spotlighters- you are just so wonderful & amazing and shining the light on things that are always in the dark. I so hope that this new column of yours sparks lots and lots of conversations and awareness.

Congrats!

Calliope
http://www.creatingmotherhood.com/

That was a very hearty

bestlight — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 09:12:30 -0600

That was a very hearty salad. I am so glad you'll be cooking up posts here!

Lori
Weebles Wobblog (http://weebleswobblog.blogspot.com)
Drama 2B Mama (http://drama2bmama.blogspot.com)

Welcome to BlogHer Melissa.

Catherine Morgan — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 09:10:36 -0600

Hi Melissa. Great post and welcome to BlogHer.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
also at CatherineBlogs.com and The Political Voices of Women

Long overdue. So glad you're here

Pamela Jeanne — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:20:35 -0600

With some 7.3 million couples of child-bearing age (in the US alone) struggling with infertility and its aftermaths, it's about time there was some representation of this vast and diverse infertility community here on BlogHer. If there's anyone who can address this wildly complex and much misunderstood subject with the diplomacy and kindness necessary, it is you Mel.

Through your blog and its many annexes and extensions (Emoblopedia, Lost & Found and Creme de la Creme to name a few), you have single-handedly created an immense online hub of comfort, information sharing and understanding for men and women who simply want what others have (and so often take for granted): the ability to create a family. I, and many others, are eternally grateful to you.

http://www,Coming2Terms.com
Pamela Jeanne