BlogHer - feminists - Comments

I could go both ways on this

that single mom — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:52:09 -0600

This is one of those things where, like Denise said, it's going to happen. Doesn't matter a darn bit if we want it to or not. But improper education can sometimes encourage this behavior. No matter what, IMO, a LOT comes down to parenting. Don't want your daughter to have sex? Or if she does, want her to be safe? YOU have to be the one that talks to her about it. In an open, honest, loving way. So if a girl doesn't have the type of parental guidance to show her the right things, then I'm kind of glad this is out there. But it's a really sticky subject, and really, I could argue either side of it.

Raising my hand? Tentatively.

Denise — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:06:51 -0600

Well considering I encouraged two of my daughters to use Depo Provera when they were young teens... I have to raise my hand.

Accidents happen, condoms fail, pills are forgotten, rings slip out and kids do have sex when we'd rather they didn't. They also have sex whether they really want to or not.

I'm all for preventing unplanned pregnancy.

My personal worry with programs like this is that girls won't use condoms and that will just make the STD rate worse than it already is.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

This is why US feminism failed as a movement

debontherocks — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 23:02:50 -0600

Nice piece. Gloria Steinem's old school feminism lost relevance long ago for just this type of divisive, narrow, tyrannical thinking. Comparing anything to racism in this country is appalling and demeaning. Ugh, hearing her hypocritical attempt to control women's votes as well as to marginalize and minimize the issues concerning women and race in the name of "feminism" is like watching a train wreck within sight of the stop where I disembarked. Sickening.

Wasn't she also in the group of feminists proud of their off-color comedy fundraiser this fall, promoting the message that feminists have a sense of humor after all?

Deb

www.debontherocks.com
when life throws you on the rocks, it's time to get your rocks off

Oops! Thanks so much!

Megan Smith — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:39:17 -0600

It's been corrected.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/YouTube

Personal Blog: Megan's Minute

Brilliant Post

InMyHeels — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 18:36:02 -0600

WOW what an article! Thank you for posting this - I have a couple women in mind that I would like to share this with

thank you for sharing your thoughts!

www.inmyheels.com

Link to your blog

fabooj — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:19:47 -0600

FYI: There's an extra '.' in your link to your blog, so that it reads: www.megansminute..com and it doesn't come up.

"I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal. I cannot be comprehended except by my permission. I mean...I...can fly like a bird in the sky." Ego Trippin' by Nikki Giovanni
Visit me at faboo mama

Thank you!

whattamisaid — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 20:59:57 -0600

Thanks for all of the wonderful comments, visits to my blog and links. I am relatively new to the Blogher family and I really do love the wonderful dialogue with smart women it provides.

The Black candidate

fabooj — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:37:52 -0600

In my post someone had mentioned Condoleeza Rice and if she was a candidate. I would be in your same situation. There is no way in hell, I'd vote for her. Her track record just doesn't bear out.

15 or so years ago, I had the chance to vote for a Muslim candidate, but wouldn't because he was a Republican and I didn't think our area needed his brand of "change".

Awesome

fabooj — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:18:54 -0600

I'm so linking this entry to my entry on my own blog, so people can see where we're coming from.

Thank you for speaking up for those of us not in "lock-step"

holly_jahangiri — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 10:29:43 -0600

Anyone who says they don't have a prejudiced bone in their body (regarding some group out there who is different in some way, or not well understood) is probably lying. Or a candidate for sainthood. The only way to get over it is to crawl out of your shell and get to know people.

Job discrimination because of race or gender is illegal; discrimination over hair is just stupid. If I were hiring (which I'm not), you'd make the short list simply because you can spell, you can think clearly, and you write very well. Your writing is passionate and persuasive without being combative. That's all I've ever cared about in interviewing a candidate - do they have the skills (or can they learn them quickly enough) to do what needs to be done?

I'm lucky; I've never (to the best of my knowledge) experienced gender discrimination. It has simply never been an issue, and I don't go out of my way to make it one. You might be surprised to learn that I have felt excluded or discriminated against due to race. (It's a sword that cuts in many directions, isn't it?) I've heard my share of "dumb blonde" jokes, too.

But what amazes me is the happy ignorance some people insist on wallowing in. I was inspired by a forwarded email - an piece of malicious, ignorant garbage - to write a post about Obama: http://jahangiri.us/blog/2008/01/12/barack-obama-religion-and-respect/. And I continue to be amazed, appalled, and utterly dumbfounded by the search terms that lead readers to that post.

---------------
Holly Jahangiri
http://jahangiri.us/blog

Thank you, Tami

Nordette — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:21:33 -0600

You've said succinctly in this one post what I articulated in a post at my old blog in March 2007, a four-part post. Coincidentally, the 3rd post is entitled "Feminism and African Americans: "Ain't I a woman?"

Yes, I was annoyed enough to write a post that long after I read another feminist had asked something like shouldn't women support Hillary Clinton the same way black people support Barack Obama? Her reasoning struck me as clearly offensive and potentially highly divisive for a number of reasons, but the most obvious was that there are humans who are both black and female or Mexican and female or some other non-white group that still experiences oppression and female simultaneously. So what was she saying to us and won't conservatives be happy when the two groups smack each other upside the head, minorities and women, and implode on a me first rocket?

I wrote then:

And let's be practical here. If either of these candidates makes an issue of heavily identifying with gender or race, he/she will lose. Hillary will suffer if she harps on "I am woman" as will Obama if he focuses on "I am black." (March 2007 blog)

Thank you for scrutinizing Ms. Steinem's reasoning. It seems there should be a better way to get women to support Hillary than to argue sexism is worse than racism. I think someone who's experienced both forms of bigotry is better qualified to assess that situation, and I think that argument alienates those who've suffered both.

Your point on natural hair is so on, too. My daughter's dealing with that now. I do believe there are jobs she will not get if she continues to wear her hair unprocessed in its natural, kinky state. That pisses me off! Still, she's probably far less likely to be hassled than my son by "authorities" for walking while black. He wears a close-cropped conservative style, btw.

I can think of instances where a black male was favored over females of any race in professions that are still dominated by men, but I wouldn't stake my life on that this is the case across the board. And I guarantee you that the men in my family are chauvinists, but in the world beyond I think my skin color will cause me more problems than my gender. Still, absent a candidate's declaration that he hates blacks and women, what the hell does this have to do with who deserves my vote? This country's in crisis and I want the best person in office to clean up Bush's mess.

There's probably a study somewhere that gives an honest answer about who continues to face the most discrimination, but I don't think Hillary Clinton's campaign will benefit if feminists seek to make an issue of racism vs. sexism anymore than Barack Obama would benefit from this discussion. Does Gloria Steinem secretly support John Edwards? Haha! Just kidding. But it does seem she's not thinking about backlash that may cause some black voters to dump Hillary completely.

If you should visit that old post, just hit the cancel button when you're asked to sign in.

Nordette Adams is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.org.

I've added this post to BlogHer's homepage headlines

Lisa Stone — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 16:45:34 -0600

Thank you Tami!

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Fabulous Post

Megan Smith — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 23:09:36 -0600

Tami, thanks for putting it out there.

I get so sick of people, black or white, deciding how I should think and feel because I'm a black woman.

I'm a person first. A person with many different experiences and feelings.

We should all resent it when anyone expects us to walk in lock step because "we should" or because "we" were "the most oppressed."

Megan
Contributing Editor, TV/YouTube
Personal Blog: Megan's Minute

Tami, Your Blog is great, I

Roberta — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 22:10:36 -0600

Tami,
Your Blog is great, I am glad I came across this post.

Birdsword

Lieberman and Jews

Jill Miller Zimon — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:23:48 -0600

Tami, thanks for writing this, saying what I might not read anywhere else, through my own fault of not reading as diverse blogs as I should (one reason why I love BlogHer - the diversity in every way).

The critiques of Steinem's column have been very good here. And today, for the first time during the entire election cycle, I remembered how I felt as a Jew to have Joe Lieberman be Al Gore's running mate in 2000. I was very happy, but I also knew that I wouldn't vote for him just because he was a Jew.

Here in Ohio, our statehouse, with 99 reps and 33 senators, has only, I believe 4 Jews. One of my grad school classmates is one of those four and he is termlimited out this year. He's a Republican and I don't know if I would vote for him if I were in his district, but he has urged me and my husband to vote for the Jewish candidate in our district, who is a Republican and someone with whom I disagree on EVERYTHING. Needless to say, I've not voted for the guy. And it's not easy in some ways. But I also know it's the right thing to do - to not vote for him. The being Jewish just is not enough of a reason.

Much like being a woman or any other definable feature.

Thanks.

Jill
Writes Like She Talks