BlogHer - weight gain - Comments

Exactly On Point!

debra roby — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:19:58 -0500

You are so right!

We need to stop hating our fellow women (why is it mostly women who do this?) for the way they look, stop labelling them and judging their decisions.

The women you had lunch with were making choices on their own. Choices of what to eat, and choices of what to think.

I've been too thin, too heavy, and now I think I'm just about right for my age. I have never been "lean" and still can't really call myself that.

I watch what I eat, but I don't obsess. I have more fat I could lose around my middle, but I'm not going to make those inches the focus of my every day life.

I exercise hard.

I exercise to stay sane: it decreases the severity of my anxiety and depression.

I exercise to stay alive: I plan to stick around for 40 more years, and live the best life I can for as many of them as I can.

I exercise to lessen the aches and pains of middle age.

I don't need to justify these actions to people (mainly women) who feel poorly about their own bodies and need to take me down to feel better.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb

Wow, perfect timing

washwords — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:03:58 -0500

Have you seen "a fat rant" by Joy Nash and the corresponding "a skinny rant" by Lauriestar on youtube? I found "a fat rant" from fellow blogher Gena "out on the stoop" and am blogging about both of these and the way we treat each other, whatever size we are here.

washy || http://washwords.com/words || washwords.dc@gmail.com

Spot On!

GlindaofOz — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 08:23:56 -0500

It's such a shame. As I always say we are a nation obsessed with eating and eating disorders. People naturally assume that if someone is slender then they MUST have an eating disorder or somehow its "not fair" that you "can" eat a cheeseburger.

It's a shame that the petty attitudes of junior high never leave some women.

I applaud you for accepting who you are and maintaining a healthy body. People who have never been sick don't understand the change you feel in how you care for your body or how you see your body. So many people don't understand that some people can't put weight on no matter how hard they try and that doesn't make those people lucky. Its the same as someone who looks at a slice of pie and gains 5 pounds. Lots of people struggle with weight in different ways and all battles are hard regardless of if its gaining or losing.

You should be proud of yourself that you didn't sink to their level of making snide comments. I always believe that saying nothing or killing someone with good manners speaks volumes. Remember that those people ARE rude and were clearly raised in a barn. Keep eating your cheeseburgers and forget about the people who are too rude to mind their own food business.

Self-discovery through fashion!

www.wisdomofglinda.com

100% spot on.

LiveWell360 — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:10:25 -0500

I could not agree more with Sassymonkey's reply above - they are displacing their own issues/feelings about themselves onto you. Its not really about you at all, its about what is going on inside their heads, about themselves. They are angry/jealous/resentful/whatever because they don't understand, and may not ever. Its easier to just be pissed at other people because they can eat a cheeseburger and you can't, rather than to empower yourself, reach your goal, and then have the dang cheeseburger yourself once in a while.We all have our own battles in life, and I think its great that you post this here, because maybe some other readers will get some insight from it, and if they are on the other side of the fence, will keep this in mind the next time they have this type of conversation with a "skinny" friend.

Hang in there, and when you start feeling down, just keep in mind that you have to do what is best for your own health and wellness, and let other people - and their comments and actions - go.

Sheila

www.livewell360.com

Yes!

sassymonkey — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 13:42:00 -0500

Been there! Lived there for many years.

I've been "underweight" most of my life. It's only been this year that I've really started to gain weight. And it's only since I quit my job (and thus eliminated a HUGE amount of stress in my life) that I've gained most of that weight. I'm now very firmly in the "healthy" range.

I tried for years to gain weight. If I had nickle for every person who told me that they "wished they had that problem" and I had invested in a retirement plan I'd be in great shape for a very early retirement. It sucks. Not being able to gain weight when you are trying sucks every bit as much as not losing weight when you are trying.

Even more than when I ordered a cheeseburger or *gasp* dessert I found I got the nasty looks and comments when I ordered something healthy.

What I eventually realized, and it took me a long time, is that when they were making comments and sending nasty glares my way, it was about how they felt about themselves and had nothing to do with me. Did it make it easier? Not always, especially in the moment, but over all yes. And it's something I remind myself when people "complinsult" me on aspects of my appearance. It's not about me, it's about them.

Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

Right, right, right, right!

Denise — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:00:02 -0500

As my friend JeanneB said .... WORD!!

I know exactly how you feel. EXACTLY.

You're not alone here - there are quite a few of us, in exactly your position.

Thanks for the great post. There's safety in numbers for those of us who struggle to hold onto a healthy weight.
:-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

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