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Are We Asking the Right Question?

abswyg — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 08:20:22 -0600

All of us can relate to the insecurities we feel as moms no matter what world we live in (working or non-working). Despite these insecurities, if we really thought about it, most of us would realize and admit that, on balance, we're good mothers.

What I found most provocative about Waldman's article was the notion that in doing what's best for our families (either by staying home or choosing/having to work), most of us end up making major sacrifices. To quote Waldman (sorry, don't know how to do that great thumb tack thing):

"So here we are, either staying home, or making serious professional compromises in order to be more available to our children, or feeling like terrible mothers for having failed to make those sacrifices. I imagine there are some mothers who have without regret channeled all of their ambition and energy into making homemade Play-Doh and organizing the nursery school’s capital campaign. I have never met one. The women I know feel an underlying and corrosive sense of disappointment and anxiety. The women I know are, on some level, unfulfilled."

The underlying question isn't whether we're good mothers or not, it's whether we can be good mothers and still be fulfilled as women. This is the underlying question that I hear in Carolyn's post on NYC Moms and in Self-Made Mom's post. It is a question that is yet unanswered for many of us and it is the question that haunts me as I fast forward 15-20 years when my daughters will be making these decisions. What am I teaching them now with my own path and what will I tell them then?

Amy S.
Up With Moms

I completely identify with

mia3mom — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 16:15:26 -0600

I completely identify with the nerves about going to storytime! I give her kudos for going at all!

I used to say "different things work for different families" as a catch phrase, but didn't mean it. Now that I'm older and my kids are older, I don't see the point in the fighting, and I really do believe that each family makes the best choices they can.

If you can project self-confidence, usually people don't bother you much. They don't need to know how much is an act!

Rachel - a Gaggle of girls and sites
blog, recipes, book reviews, and product reviews

Accepting some one elses decision

PlanningQueen — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 05:49:12 -0600

It is so true that it is about being comfortable as who you are as a mother. For most women I know making the choice of “what type of mother” to be has never been easy. But once the decision is finally made, they begin to feel more at ease with themselves. I don’t believe that there is any one “right” type of mother and once we have found our “fit” we need to support those around us as they are finding out what type of mother they are.