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Jake Tapper is the Senior White House Correspondent for ABC News. He’s a pretty big deal. I follow him on Twitter, as do 39,559 other people. Although his Twitter page has a strapping picture of the reporter on duty in front of the White House, Tapper’s Twitter badge, his personal stamp, is a photo of him cradling his two little kids: a toddler and a newborn. It is such a tender photo, and you could never imagine Walter Cronkite (if he had a Twitter page) using such an image as his calling card. I was struck by this badge, and honored by it; I was struck by the fact that this political reporter chose to put a photo of him cradling his two babies as his Twitter badge-- in our social media, all sharing all the time world, a true statement of who he thinks he is. I was honored by the fact that a powerful guy was saying, “yes, these are my kids and they are important to me.” Since my husband and I daily try to figure out “whose career is more important today,” I always like to see successful men embracing the Dad Badge, literally or figuratively.
And yet, I do think it’s an ironic picture. Katie Couric’s Twitter profile is a super-professional headshot. Is this about social media blurring lines between public and private, or is it about gender roles?
I messaged Tapper to find out if he intentionally put a nurturing photo of him and his babies. I sent Tapper a note on Twitter and to my surprise he replied. I asked him:
@jaketapper I'm fascinated by your Twitter badge photo- w/your babies. I love it and the message it sends. Is it on purpose?
He asked, “msg?” and after I explained, he wrote back:
jaketapper: @morraa_m wasnt meant as a msg...just a proud papa
We talk ad nauseum about the role of mothers in our modern world and the struggle moms have to balance their identity as a career-driven person with that of a family-oriented person. We never talk about Dads’ struggle with the same issue, although data show 45% of men experience work-family conflict, compared to only 39% of women. I think this is down to the fact that women simply expect to experience conflict between home and work, but the fact is men admit to feeling the conflict now more than they used to. I do feel that men can pick and choose to wear their parenthood in a way women can’t.
“What is a good father after all?” asks a stay at home dad in a recent article by Chrysula Winegar. The man in the article is doggedly determined to find out, and willing to risk his earning potential and socially viable version of success to do so. I think a lot of I think men of my generation struggle with this question. My Dad’s cohort never did. Maybe, if one of the kids had a hard time, went to rehab, hurled a book at their dad they’d ask.
When my husband's work was recently written up in a magazine article he brought the baby to the photo shoot- not quite a prop, definitely a statement. I never would have brought my infant to a photo shoot featuring me as a professional. It just wouldn’t have occurred to me. But in our unfolding saga to figure out what the hell gender roles mean in a world where both parents work, both parents parent and social media blurs the lines between personal and professional, expect to see more “Dad Badges" on Flickr, Facebook, Twitter and on phones.
If the medium is the message, than I want more proud dads to show their stripes in social media, on TV, and wherever eyeballs land. Images do have the power to help change things, and make parenting an equal, and equally worthy, effort for both sexes.
Morra Aarons-Mele
www.womenandwork.org
