Daenerys Targeryan and Kim Kardashian: Seperated at Birth?

Mother of Dragons

My judgement might be skewed since watching The Red Wedding on last week’s Game of Thrones, but I really think the Targeryans and Kardashians have common ancestry. I contacted a few of the most respected geneological journals, but shockingly, none were interested in publishing my research.

I made like 80 or 90 calls to The Journal of Genetic Geneology yesterday, pressing for the reason they rejected my paper, but all I was told was: we don’t accept articles written on Bounty Select-a-Size paper towels, the Targeryans were fictional, the Kardashians were idiots, and I hadn’t gone through peer review.

So as I said, I couldn’t get a good reason out of them.  And the others responded with much of the same, which leads me to the sad conclusion that I’m being blackballed by the entire scientific community and the academic presses. I was feeling hopeless and was even thinking of abandoning my current field of research, when I got word that a bold, visionary institution called Funny not Slutty was going to publish my article. 

Two days of research saved!

(That is, if I pass the exhaustive double-blind funniness/sluttiness test with a high enough ratio. Fingers and legs crossed!!) ((Remember, if you get a reference check asking about me, the helpful responses would be “funny: yes; slutty: no.”))

 

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