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"Classical" Night: Without lyrics, turns out a lot of stars are pretty lost.
This week was Classical Week, meaning full orchestra and classical music pieces. Which oddly everyone seemed to think provided no beat or rhythm...despite the existence of an actual percussion section and a traditional drum set. Turns out most people learn choreography to lyrics, preferably English lyrics they can sing along to, not fancy pants opera lyrics in foreign tongues.
I had a little trouble getting back to my room in time for the start of the show last night, and thus missed the first two performances. And from what I hear, Kendra's was not good.
1. Romeo and Chelsie
2. Kendra and Louis
3. Sugar Ray and Anna danced a Viennese Waltz
Cute and charming, and not too alarming.
4. Petra and Dmitry danced a Paso Doble
It was serious, but not fierce. And she seemed to be looking at the floor and her feet quite a bit. But she proved last week wasn't a fluke. This doesn't mean she's amazing, it means merely that she isn't quite the irredeemable stiff that supermodels have often been on DWtS.
Bottom line: I think she bought herself one more week, but I don't see her making the finals, do you?
5. Ralph and Karina danced a Waltz
Well, she gave him choreography to show his improved hands, and they were improved. (Although one of our Facebook friends still thinks he has "spatula hands". And doesn't "Spatula Hands" sound like the name of the next horror movie series serial killer? Yes, I realize it would be more scary if it was, like, Jagged Glass Hands or Pickaxe Hands, but just think: Spatula Hands's signature move would be to scrape your EYES OUT!!!!!) She also gave him choreography that only his ringer-ness could handle, like lots of solo spins and chine turns. That being said, Ralph is way more fun to watch with upbeat dances...just a little too stiff and uncomfortable on the Waltz.
Bottom line: Oh, he's safe, but get him back to fun spunky dances, please.
6. Hines and Kym danced a Paso Doble
Looking serious all too often makes the stars look like they're thinking really really hard. And for male stars moving with power all too often results in moving very stiffly. Hence: I didn't love this, even though it seemed like everyone else did.
Bottom line: Everyone else did, so he's safe.
7. Chelsea and Mark danced a Viennese Waltz
This was fast and almost frenetic, and from the moment I saw their outfits and the beginning I was afraid the judges would ding them for too many theatrics and not enough waltzing. And Len did not disappoint. And frankly, he was right. This didn't seem anything like a Viennese Waltz to me, and the rules are the rules. Of course the rules also are that America votes, so you know: Judges be judging, but they don't make the ultimate call.
Bottom line: I worry a bit that this was out there even for the audience, but she's still probably safe.
8. Chris and Cheryl danced a Paso Doble
As shocked as I am to hear myself say this: Chris is really my favorite at this point. He had the fluidity the other Pasos were missing. It was so musical, and strong, and fierce. I don't know what Cheryl did to Chris after week one to bring this about, but she has wrought a miracle!
Bottom line: Well, I certainly hope America sees the same transformation I see!
9. Kirstie and Maks danced a Waltz
I'm sure the whole audience was rooting for Kirstie to have an easier time of it this week, after last week's tumble, but it was not to be. She had a wardrobe malfunction of the non-innocence-of-children-threatening kind...catching her shoe in her dress...and apparently having the shoe come off. It did seem a bit like she was dancing like something was going to go wrong. And it did, although a little less impactful than falling on her butt. Having appreciated Kirstie's performances the previous three weeks I was hoping for another good performance, but I wouldn't say this measured up. Even without the dress mess-up, it was a little frenzied and uncomfortable to watch. And while she didn't quite inherit Ralph's spatula hands, she did have Claw Hands. Which might be worse.
Bottom line: All that being said, I think she's safe another week.
Bottom Line for the Bottom Two: I feel like I can't make a really spot on prediction, given I missed two of the performances. Based purely on what I saw, I'd say it's time
