Dancing with the Stars Recap: The Top Ten Perform Unsexy Rumbas

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Featuring the least sexy Rumbas you've ever seen!

Well, so much for the Rumba as the dance of romance. Last night it was the dance of death. And oddly enough that made for Rumbas that were way more believable and emotionally satisfying than all those sexy Rumbas ever were. Who's with me?


Image courtesy ABC

Wondering what I mean? Let's dig in.

1. Wendy and Tony danced a Foxtrot

Wendy is not really making visible progress, and after 3 weeks I fear it may spell her near-term defeat. This Foxtrot was not only a bit slow and plodding, but she herself seemed very tentative, very stilted. very not like her TV persona. Those who do know and like that persona may feel like putting her out of her misery by not voting for her. Those who don't may wonder how she survived last week!

Bottom line: She's definitely at risk.

2. Chelsea and Mark danced a Cha Cha Cha

For someone who is obviously a good dancer, Chelsea needs to take more care with her feet and ankles. They're never really fully pointed, never really fully extended. Other than that, though, this was really good. She is spunky and charming. I might disagree a tiny bit with Bruno: I would say she was more sassy than sexy.

Bottom line: She's sassy, spunky, sexy AND safe.

3. Chris and Cheryl danced a Rumba

I was once again totally surprised by Chris. Week one he seemed somewhat hopeless, and in only week he has completely found his inner dancer. And with this dance dedicated to his dead mum, he also found his inner emoter. Nice nice job. This was the first (but not the last) time I heard one of the Pros say that a sexy Rumba wasn't really the right call for the story they'd be telling, and I really wondered how they'd pull off a non-sexy Rumba, but it worked, and he just doesn't seem like the same guy from week one.

Bottom line: Have to call him a front-runner right now.

4. Kendra and Louis danced a Rumba

Now, Chelsea should take a lesson from Kendra, because she had lovely feet and ankles. Really wonderful position and extension. She still has the issue of not being grounded enough and seeming unstable. But she exhibited nice grace. Still looks a bit frozen in fear, facially, but maybe that's because they made her inhale about 10x more stage fog than any human should. This was a lovely dance.

Bottom line: Her best dance yet, so I'm guessing she's safe.

5. Romeo and Chelsie danced a Rumba

It was fine, but he wasn't very fluid, and he didn't really do very much. Maybe it's just my girl-crush on Chelsie, but once again...she looks great dancing around him, not really with him. That being said, I did think he loosened up a bit emotionally, so I appreciated that.

Bottom line: Not the best, but not the worst.

6. Hines and Kym danced a samba

I was hoping for a lot more from this, given Hines has proved he can shake his booty. This wasn't quite as good as his past efforts, probably because it required a little more speed and precision in the footwork, not just the booty-shaking.

Bottom line: Still, he's far from at risk.

7. Petra and Dmitry danced a Waltz

Well, it's really nice to see Petra improving. This was her best dance yet,. Yes, there were moments of clunkiness, but many more moments of grace than usual. I'm not sure it's quite enough, but I think it indicates she can show even more improvement if she stays.

Bottom line: She's made it farther than most models at this point, hasn't she? Oh, wait, it's only elimination #2. Supermodels are always at risk, and so is Petra.

8. Sugar Ray and Anna danced a Paso Doble

I feel a little let down, because this was not great. Only the fast footwork impressed. The worst part was his posture, which was terrible. He should have been able to bring some boxer fierceness to the floor, but as my S.O. said: Anna looked way more fierce and scary than Sugar Ray.

Bottom line: I actually think he's at risk because this just wasn't fun or exciting.

9. Kirstie and Maks danced a Rumba

So, drama: Maks's thigh wobbled and down they went right at the very beginning of their routine!!! Despite the starting fall, however, the dance that followed was lovely. And I continue to really appreciate that she takes each dance so seriously. She goes for it; she owns it. She embodies BlogHer's Own Your Beauty initiative, I think.

Bottom line: Oh, she's going to rake in the votes...the fall was probably a great thing for her popularity! We love when folks fall down but just get back up.

10. Ralph and Karina danced a Rumba

This was nice, the ringer did great :) And had nice posture. But gotta ask: Was he 12 when he got married? Oh. ma. gah.

Bottom line: Yeah, do you need to ask?

Bottom line for the bottom two:

I think it has got to be Wendy in the bottom two for sure. Joining her will be Petra, or maybe Romeo. But I think it's Wendy's time.

How about you?

Elisa Camahort Page
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