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So despite my misgivings about this season of Dancing with the Stars, of course I tuned in last night for the season premiere.
We are in Season 2 of the Tom Bergeron/Brooke Burke host pairing. And can I just say: Brooke's dress should perhaps not have been on broadcast TV during prime time hours? Yes, yes, call me jealous...especially since she's had a passel of children, and I have not, but WOW.
After I put my eyeballs back in my head, a la Roger Rabbit, I was ready to hit Play on the TiVo and resume watching this season's premiere, featuring 12 "stars," some of whom stretch the definition more than ever.
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Couple #1: Audrina Patridge, paired with pro Tony
Audrina is the star of a reality TV show. It is called The Hills. I have never seen it. I am totally OK with that. Even if it means I'm old. Audrina and Tony danced the night's first Cha Cha. As Carrie Ann (my good close personal buddy...since I spent 5 minutes interviewing her earlier this year) said, Audrina certainly has the bod for ballroom. She also has some good moves developing. She looked worried almost the entire way through, but once she gets some more confidence. she should do well in the competition -- if she escapes the "pretty girl" syndrome that some models have experienced, and transcends it much as host Burke (and former champion) did.
Couple #2: Kurt Warner, paired with pro Anna
Kurt is a former quarterback, and he makes the point that of all the former NFL contestants, he's the first QB. Since QBs are supposed to lighter on their feet than your average running back or linebacker, he should have an edge. Kurt also has seven kids. So I'm sure he's always up on the latest moves :) Kurt and Anna danced the night's first Viennese Waltz. He actually wasn't bad. He has a surprising amount of musicality, and he didn't suffer from the common newbie guy dancer problem: Stiff chopper hands. He has some strengths, like the aforementioned musicality and his charm. He has some weaknesses, like stiff legs and his clenched arms when he tries to do a chine turn. But I'd say the ladies voting should keep him around for a while to work on those weaknesses.
Couple #3: Kyle Massey, paired with pro Lacey Schwimmer
Kyle is a Teen TV star. Lacey is a new blonde. And I confess, I was so distracted by her hair and her over-the-top Lacey-ness while dancing this Cha Cha that I barely noticed him. Apparently, according to the judges, he was awesome. There was a little cradle-robbing feel to it...but nothing compared to another couple coming up, so I guess I'll count my blessings.
Couple #4: Rick Fox, paired with pro Cheryl
Rick is a former NBA champ -- and apparently dating Eliza Dushku, which I did not know!! (That's a little cradle-robby too, no?) He is apparently also the former hubby of new Desperate Housewife Vanessa Williams. Just as a side note. He is also one very tall, very handsome dude. Their Viennese Waltz was surprisingly graceful, and he was light on his feet for a giant. He should have no problem sticking around for a while.
Couple #5: Margaret Cho, paired with pro Louis
Oh. Ma. Gah. Why, Louis, WHYYYYY? Somewhere in the middle of this Viennese Waltz they decided to go for the slapstick approach, and it was TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. You had us with your story of quitting ballet class because you were told you were the fattest ballerina. You had us when you said you wanted to feel pretty. Don't you know how these shows work? The emotional tug is everything! Louis, how could you choreograph this stupid slapstick awkwardness after an almost graceful beginning? And if it was Margaret's decision/idea, did you not explain to her that it could only come to no good? I was rooting for Margaret and Louis to go far, and I'm afraid she may have sealed her doom with this misguided "humorous" Viennese Waltz.
Couple #6: Brandy, paired with pro Maks
Singer Brandy and Maks cut a fine figure on the floor dancing an elegant Viennese
