"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." - Agnes Repplier

Here it is. The final piece of the puzzle: EXPERIENCE. Now that DO, ACHIEVE and RISK have you all wound up, EXPERIENCE is here to help relieve some of the pressure. More than anything, when we set our sites on something, we’ve chosen it because we are hoping the outcome will provide a specific feeling or experience. Take a look at your list so far. Now close your eyes. If you reach your destination and achieve your goal, how will you feel? Smart? Beautiful? Powerful? Capable? What will you experience as a result? Accomplishment? Fame? Validation? Contentment?

Whatever you call it, they are all just different roads to the same thing - happiness. Your ultimate goal in this entire process is to find out what makes you happy. This may sound frivolous, but it’s no joke. Happiness needs to become a priority in your life. It’s the only way you can lend your brilliance to the world, and in turn, contribute to the well-being of others. Sharing the best of ourselves is the true path to positive change. Next time guilt rears its ugly head and you start to doubt yourself just remember that happiness is not an option, it’s your duty.


Women are the self-appointed emotional caregivers in society. We are already programmed with an internal need to care about others. The problem is that we’ve been going about it the wrong way. We’ve put everyone first and on some level it works – for a while. Over time, however, we can become resentful of this selflessness. If this resentment continues to build we may end up:

1 – becoming a passive aggressive martyr “No, no. That’s fine. I’ll do it. I HAVE to do everything.”
2 - not wanting to be of service anymore because contribution has become a negative word “I don’t want to do anything else, I already do too much! I have nothing left!”
3 – fearful and obsessive about approval “If I stop doing everything for everyone they won’t like me.”
4 – developing a victim attitude “I can't try new things – no one will let me.”
5 – unfairly judging or criticizing other women who are bravely pursuing passions “Must be nice to have no responsibility, care about no one and do what you like.”

Ultimately, we will end up becoming the very thing we are resisting.

When you give yourself permission to lead in the world, to try new things and have your say, you are giving other women permission to do the same because there is safety in numbers. Bit by bit you’ll be helping to chip away at the layers of judgement and doubt so that we can uncover something beautiful for the benefit of all people.

Sharing the journey,

Image by Ambro

Originally posted on Dames Who D.A.R.E


In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.