A Date is alot like a visit to the local animal shelter........

 

I have been divorced and single most of my life. For so many of us who have been through a divorce we take a personal vow to never settle for anything less than exactly what we want. I mean who wants to go throught that living hell again?

The other day while scouring the local pet adoption site, it struck me like a bolt of lightning. I logged on with a very specific need, an older dog, perhaps one that would be overlooked by most who want the "cute puppies", that could live at the farm to help with predators looking to feast on my chickens.

I have two precious golden doodles, Buddie and Ellie, at our home in the city and two beautiful Great Pyreneese Mac and Daisy, at our farm. Now I am a complete sucker when it comes to animals. I think with one look in to their eyes you instantly know if they are the right animal for you or not.

This scientific thought process of mine has proved less than accurate in my personal life. I mean come on,  how many times have you been sucked in by those baby eyes? Only to find a wolf in disguise.

I venture to guess many women, myself included, start off with a very specific thought process on what we want and expect in a man. But like many of us looking for that specific breed, like I was that day while surfing all of the adoptees, begin to stray. Needless to say after the first 5 minutes I found myself staring at a precious lhasa apso. Now for those of you that are not familiar the only thing this teacup size dog could guard might be his food bowl.

But with one look in to its little eyes I had already begun to rethink and rationalize how this pup would be a wonderful addition to our family. I mean how could you not love that face and after all doesn't everyone want a little pup you can have on your lap and be your copilot throught the day?

What, I was there that day looking for a guard dog, or at the bare minimum a dog of size and stature that would warrant the local fox to take a second look. What I had fallen for would have only been considered a snack prior to a chicken dinner.

Now don't get your feathers ruffled, I am a huge animal lover and have no, nor had any intentions of putting precious at the farm. My point to this story is just that I started off with my brain screwed on straight, with knowledge of what I needed and what would work for my situation. But quickly found myself going down the wrong road.  I had already convinced myself I could make the world right for this pup and give it all the love it needed. But the question I had to ask myself and reask myself, and maybe even ask myself again, is this right for me? What can this pup do to fullfill what I had originally set out to get that day

  I think in life, we as women are natural nurturers and caregivers, problem solvers by nature.This creates a dangerously fine line between what is healthy for us as women, and what is not. Now please understand I am not trying   to say finding a mate or spouse is the equivalent to dog shopping. Although if you think about it wouldn't you love it if men were already trained?... Besides when is the last time you saw a dog with a remote control in his hand kicked back in his recliner? Okay... now I am straying again, that's best left for another blogging day :)

But anywho... how many times do we lower the bar, think we can live with that annoying trait, muchless deal with a psychotic ex-wife. If we were honest to ourself and went back to the original shopping list, I think we would be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

If you are like me I went shopping for a guard dog and came home with a pocket pup? Why, one might ask, well to me its pretty simple. it was those little eyes with one look all logic went out the window.

Logic in dating is not a bad thing, infact is highly underated! Life is full of uphill battles and many times one may find themself struggling or needing that right person in their life, perhaps even being lucky enough like me, to have found their soul mate, But to have a good life, rich with fullfillment and love, we too must find that perfect person who can give us all the love we need and be the person we set out to find. Not settling for something less than we need. 

At the end of the day, one might remember as we stroll through the grocery store of life, a list is a useful tool. One that reminds us of why we are there, what we sought out to get, and what it is that we actually needed. After all how many times have you gotten to the store, forgot the list and gotten home without what you originally set out to buy...?

 

Just Food for Thought..

AnnaMarie

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