Dating is like a job interview, or: Don't order the meat if you're vegan, or: Duh.

Have you ever done eHarmony? One of the features is that, after you're matched with someone and you're both interested, you go through "guided communication." The first step is swapping five short-answer questions that you've picked out of a giant list. It's interesting not only for what your potential date answers, but also for what questions he picked.

One of my favorites to ask is about what sort of restaurant you like to go out to. I pick it specifically to see if I get "steakhouse" back as an answer. Two reasons: 1. Steak is my favorite dinner out, and if a guy picks "steakhouse," then that's something we have in common. I'm a meat-lover, and while it's far, far, far away from being a deal-breaker, I enjoy dating a guy who also likes to eat meat. And: 2. I think it says something about a guy if he enjoys a big, juicy steak. I think it speaks to an aggression, a confidence, a certain gusto.

So my disdain for the recent NY Times fluff piece, "Be Yourselves, Girls, Order the Rib-Eye," isn't because I don't believe that what you order at a restaurant says something about you - although I'd caution against actually putting much weight on a menu choice - It's that the article is written from that how-to-get-a-man-any-man-POV that just seems so absurd.

Seriously, does anyone really still think that way? I don't know about you, but I date to meet someone special I click with. I date to find someone who matches with me. At the point where I'm changing who I am, or doing things just to snag a man, any man - Well, if that's where you are, may I suggest a break from dating to find out who you are, what you like, and how to be single without being miserable about it?

If there's one thing anyone actually responds to (as opposed to what you order for dinner), it's self-confidence.

Once you're confident in yourself, then you can gain dating self-confidence through practice. Dating is like interviewing for jobs in a lot of ways. For both
parties. For one thing, as you go on dates, you get better at it. More relaxed, more confident and comfortable. Bad dates are practice,
just like bad interviews are practice. They may hurt, but they make the next one go better.

More importantly, if you go into a job interview and you lie about yourself and what you're looking for, you're going to end up with a job
that doesn't fit. If you're not a meat-eater, and you order steak for some effect, you may well end up with a guy who doesn't fit.

Sure, there are things we do on job interviews and dates that make sense. We think about what we're wearing; we brush our teeth and make sure our breath smells nice. We likely behave in a socially-acceptable manner, depending on the situation. We try to be our best selves, whoever that is.

But does the title "Be Yourselves, Girls, Order the Rib-Eye" even make any sense? It's like the title writer was covertly warning us that the article to come is nonsense. "Be Yourselves, Girls, Order What This Author Tells You To."

Um, hello, you're on a date, right? Remember that advice you got so many years ago about being yourself? Probably in high school from a parent? It remains the best dating advice there is. Be yourself; order what you damn well please.

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Related links:

How Offensive Can the NY Times Be? Let Me Count The Ways...

Meet the Cosmo Girl Carnivore: Is Red Meat Red Hot?

Want to snag a man? Order meat!

Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

Meat-Eater or Meat Is Murder?: The New Dating Dilemma.

Thought-provoking post: the new dating dilemma.

Rib-eyes and Fashion.
Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess and On The Lot.