As always, Zandria, great thought-provoking post!

I have very few "rules" for dating but any man young enough to be my son and old enough to be my father is not an option.

I find that I get the "I think you're beautiful" and that's it from older men and very young men actually ask me out. I had to turn a guy down because he didn't look much older than my 15 year old nephew (that and following me around Target wasn't the most appealing way to get my attention). But it was kind of flattering in a I am cougar, hear me purr kind of way ;-)

Beyond Help

Before I got remarried, I was dating a man who was 17 years older than I was.
Things were starting to get, seemingly, a little more serious. So, we decided that he would meet my children who, at the time were 2 and 4.
We had a nice day, the four of us, at the park. He was actively playing with them...and seemed to be enjoying himself.
I spoke with him, on the phone, that night...and he thanked me for a lovely day and he would see me the following evening.
That following day, however, I received a phone call from him. He felt that, after thinking about it, we were at two different stages in our lives. He didn't want to do the small children thing, all over again...his were grown and in college. So, we broke up. Just like that.
I made my decision, after that, to only date men who were in the same position as I was...small children. And...from then on, I only allowed myself to date men who were, no more than, 4 or 5 years older.
My husband, the last man I ever dated...is only 4 years my senior. That was a much better age difference.
That was an excellent post!!

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Age is just a number. Try to be more open minded, and avoid hard set rules such as "no more than 10 years apart". Otherwise you could miss out on something wonderful! I think what is more important is what stage of life you're at.

My husband is 15 years older than me, and we started dating when I was 29. We both work as engineers, which is how we met. We found that, aside from being born in different decades, we share a lot in common...everything that's important anyways: our relationships with our parents, our desire to have children, our belief system, etc. I could never ask for a more thoughtful or loving man.

Dawn
of DawnsRecipes.com

Personally, I'm 36, and it would be a rare thing for me to be attracted to a man over 40. When I'm single, I'm not completely closed off to it, but the one time I tried it, he felt so much older than me, and he *way* couldn't keep up. I usually date younger, so someone ten years older than me is often 15 years older than my last boyfriend.

Truth be told, a significantly older guy hitting on me really grosses me out; I don't get it.

But. Of course, that's not true for everyone, and I try to be understanding that that older guy hitting on me may usually date women even younger than me - who knows, you know?

I just chalk it up to me being a peer dater. I've always been looking for someone who's *a lot* like me - and generally, I've found that in younger men. Hunky Actor Boyfriend is about 2 1/2 years younger than me, and that seems to be the money.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Interesting post but everything changes when you see women with much much older rich and/or famous men. You can't tell me that these relationships are all for love!

Apart from that, my nana's husband was 19 years older, my sister continually dates men at least 10 years older than herself. A friend of mine's husband is 13 years older. It is subjective.

Jen at Semantically driven and Safari suit

I recently broke off an engagement to a man who was extremely verbally abusive. I am 20 years old (yeah I know way too young to be engaged) and he's 22. Since then I have taken interest in a guy I work with at a resturant. He's 27. I brought the idea up to my mom that we may start seeing eachother within the next couple months and she rejected the idea right away. She doesnt want to meet him and doesnt want to hear about him. She even went as far as saying that she can't support me on this idea and someday it may ruin her relationship with one of her kids because she doesnt agree with certain things. Whenever we have hung out (myself and this 27 year old) we have a BLAST. There is never a dull moment and we always have something to talk about. I have more fun with this guy than I have with any of the others, including the man I was engaged to. The only reason my mother doesnt want me to date him is because he's 27 and should be "ashamed of himself" for hanging out with someone my age. He has a lot of younger female friends as well because he coaches a highschool soccer team. My mom thinks its creepy. She says I shouldnt even be friends with him, much less date him. Is this such a bad thing??? I think that she'd almost rather me hang out with someone who treats me bad, but is within my age bracket, than someone who is a little older. I have since told her that I wouldnt be friends with him anymore and I explained the situation to him as well. He thinks its crazy and so do I. Any suggestions about what I can do to get my mom to be more accepting of him being in my life??? I have no plans of marraige ANY time soon and have a lot of goals for myself in the future that he also supports. I also have friends that are my age who have boyfriends who are significantly older than they are (up to 33years old)What do I do?!?!

Unlike most women who commented about older men, I love an older man. This preference goes back many years. My first boyfriend, my first lover, was a man much older thanmyself. I was 17 when I, not he, created a situation where sex happened between myself and John, a much, much older man. I was attracted to him; I pursued him for months; and I seduced him. I was shameless. He was about 55 or 56. But he was a beautiful man, and he was the sweetest, kindest, handsomest man I have ever known; and to this day I still love that man. He died years later. I so desperately wanted to be with him forever.
I am not an unattractive woman today. I get a lot of unwanted attention most of the time - I was blessed, or cursed, with large breasts that draw the eyes of most men. I've had my share of dating men my age, from the time I was a teenager. But there never was one that I wanted to be with forever.
Now, an older man is something else. John was a well muscled behemoth of a man. He was ruggedly handsome, and strong. But he was so gentle with me and he treated me as if I were a princess. When we were together he focused his attention on me, and he made me feel so special. We would talk for hours, about books, about movies, about our lives, breathessly sharing secrets about each other. I couldn't wait until the next day when I could run over to his house again, to be with him. He was truly an amazing man. And I have met many such men over the years since, all much older than myself, enough to qualify me to say that I prefer older men. But there is a limit. They are still healthy, vibrant, and lusty.
Some out there might say I"m looking for a man like my grandfather. Or that I am seeking a safe relationship. Some might say I am looking to get money from them. All untrue.
It's just preference. Veronica.

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with a 7-year age difference, but it sounds like your mom is just worried about you. In certain situations it takes being together for a while before other people accept it -- and sometimes they never will. Hopefully things will work out in your situation. :)

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Well, my partner and the father of my three kids is over 20 years older than me. Of course, I wouldn't change a thing.. because I couldn't. We've been together for 11 years, but sometimes nowadays I secretly wish he was a bit younger. I feel sad that I can't have the dream that we will grow old together. I know life is unpredictable... but just the dream would have been nice. And people always think we're together because he's rich. Which he's not. My close friends and family are fine. But you'd be surprised how many comments and looks I've gotten. It's either a very close-minded or a very bored world out there, I tell ya! ;)
So those are my two cents.
http://watermelonmama.wordpress.com/

I just started seeing a man 12 1/2 years older than me (I'm 27, he's 39) and am finding myself to be a smitten kitten and even getting a little insecure/freaked out by how much I like him.

You see, the oldest man I've ever dated has been 6 years older than me, and it worked out pretty well, until I broke up with him ( I was 22 and had no clue what I wanted, etc.) Now 5 years later, I gave up on men in their 20's and then soon after met John- 39 almost 40- and feel crazy about him and suprised by how natural this all feels. So I'll give my recent discoveries to dating an older man and you might find these to parallel your experience:

1. He communicates way more honestly and effectively than a younger man. Maybe he's just not afraid to say what's on his mind because he's been there done that and would rather be blatantly honest.

2. He has his shit together and gives you room to get yours together, too. He has a life and respects that you have one, too. Won't be too freaked out when you have to postpone your date because your friend is in town unexpectedly or you have to go to sleep early on a Friday for the big race, flight, etc on Saturday morning.

3. He makes plans in advance. This has to do with #2 on the list. He has a life, knows that you have one, and if you're to combine them, you have to have advance warning (i.e. you need to be asked out a few days before). Younger guys like to wait til the last minute in case something better comes along. Even if you look like Claudia Schiffer, young guys tend to always look for something "better" cause the can't appreciate what's right in front of them.

4. Which leads to..He will DATE you. He won't only be looking for sex, he'll be looking to get to know you, to see if you're wife/mother material. To see if your brain can match up to your body.

5. And finally, he will know why you are the most beautiful, interesting, vibrant woman in the room and he will know you deserve an equal. He won't be stingy with affection and he'll let you feel like a million bucks and he'll feel that way, too, because he won you over.

minette en feu

I recently dated an older man 35 years older than myself. At the time I felt loved, wanted and cherished. But, like some relationships, all that pretty much died down after the honeymoon portion of dating; and then reality hit me like a brick, right in the head. I began to question myself why I was in the relationship to begin with, knowing that when he was in his 30's, I was just an infant. Despite the love that we felt for each other, there were also differences. Differences in socializing; I socialized with individuals from my age bracket 30-39 year olds. And he socialized with his....50-80 year olds. It wasn't like one night I could say, "Hey, get dressed and let's go out to the club with my friends." I knew what the answer was going to be and at that time in the night he would be getting ready for bed so he could be energized for his daily retirement routine the next day. I know that the saying is, if you love somebody then the differences shouldn't be such a big deal-work through them. It was kinda difficult for me to, and perhaps because we were at a different stage in life. He had already lived out his life and was enjoying retirement. As for myself, I was just beginning to know what I wanted out of life and what I wanted career wise. I had finally figured out what I wanted in my lifetime and was pursuing it. To be frank, we were generations apart. It didn't mix well. Although he was the sweetest man I have known yet, I didn't want to cheat myself out of finding out what else was out there within my own age bracket-someone in my own generation who I can relate to in most aspects of life. And someone who I can experience life with at the same level. There will be differences of course, but perhaps not ones major such as the ones I have encountered with my ex-35 years older mate. There is so much to consider when dating an older man, and for myself, it was overwhelming. We are still good friends, but that is about as far as it will become from here on out. I learned alot from this relationship, and my preference in age when it comes to dating has also changed. I am not closed to the option of dating men in my age bracket any longer. I welcome it with open arms!

I was googling when I found your post. I'm in a similar situation, yes. However, I have also taken a sociology course recently which tought me that the socially acceptable age is half your age plus 7. Example: A man 40 could date someone 27 years old and it would be socially acceptable. 40 yrs / 2 = 20 + 7 = 27. Do the math and figure it out.

However, my own parents are 17 years apart. Eventually you will be socially acceptable :)