As always, Zandria, great thought-provoking post!

I have very few "rules" for dating but any man young enough to be my son and old enough to be my father is not an option.

I find that I get the "I think you're beautiful" and that's it from older men and very young men actually ask me out. I had to turn a guy down because he didn't look much older than my 15 year old nephew (that and following me around Target wasn't the most appealing way to get my attention). But it was kind of flattering in a I am cougar, hear me purr kind of way ;-)

Beyond Help

Before I got remarried, I was dating a man who was 17 years older than I was.
Things were starting to get, seemingly, a little more serious. So, we decided that he would meet my children who, at the time were 2 and 4.
We had a nice day, the four of us, at the park. He was actively playing with them...and seemed to be enjoying himself.
I spoke with him, on the phone, that night...and he thanked me for a lovely day and he would see me the following evening.
That following day, however, I received a phone call from him. He felt that, after thinking about it, we were at two different stages in our lives. He didn't want to do the small children thing, all over again...his were grown and in college. So, we broke up. Just like that.
I made my decision, after that, to only date men who were in the same position as I was...small children. And...from then on, I only allowed myself to date men who were, no more than, 4 or 5 years older.
My husband, the last man I ever dated...is only 4 years my senior. That was a much better age difference.
That was an excellent post!!

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Age is just a number. Try to be more open minded, and avoid hard set rules such as "no more than 10 years apart". Otherwise you could miss out on something wonderful! I think what is more important is what stage of life you're at.

My husband is 15 years older than me, and we started dating when I was 29. We both work as engineers, which is how we met. We found that, aside from being born in different decades, we share a lot in common...everything that's important anyways: our relationships with our parents, our desire to have children, our belief system, etc. I could never ask for a more thoughtful or loving man.

Dawn
of DawnsRecipes.com

Personally, I'm 36, and it would be a rare thing for me to be attracted to a man over 40. When I'm single, I'm not completely closed off to it, but the one time I tried it, he felt so much older than me, and he *way* couldn't keep up. I usually date younger, so someone ten years older than me is often 15 years older than my last boyfriend.

Truth be told, a significantly older guy hitting on me really grosses me out; I don't get it.

But. Of course, that's not true for everyone, and I try to be understanding that that older guy hitting on me may usually date women even younger than me - who knows, you know?

I just chalk it up to me being a peer dater. I've always been looking for someone who's *a lot* like me - and generally, I've found that in younger men. Hunky Actor Boyfriend is about 2 1/2 years younger than me, and that seems to be the money.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Interesting post but everything changes when you see women with much much older rich and/or famous men. You can't tell me that these relationships are all for love!

Apart from that, my nana's husband was 19 years older, my sister continually dates men at least 10 years older than herself. A friend of mine's husband is 13 years older. It is subjective.

Jen at Semantically driven and Safari suit

I recently broke off an engagement to a man who was extremely verbally abusive. I am 20 years old (yeah I know way too young to be engaged) and he's 22. Since then I have taken interest in a guy I work with at a resturant. He's 27. I brought the idea up to my mom that we may start seeing eachother within the next couple months and she rejected the idea right away. She doesnt want to meet him and doesnt want to hear about him. She even went as far as saying that she can't support me on this idea and someday it may ruin her relationship with one of her kids because she doesnt agree with certain things. Whenever we have hung out (myself and this 27 year old) we have a BLAST. There is never a dull moment and we always have something to talk about. I have more fun with this guy than I have with any of the others, including the man I was engaged to. The only reason my mother doesnt want me to date him is because he's 27 and should be "ashamed of himself" for hanging out with someone my age. He has a lot of younger female friends as well because he coaches a highschool soccer team. My mom thinks its creepy. She says I shouldnt even be friends with him, much less date him. Is this such a bad thing??? I think that she'd almost rather me hang out with someone who treats me bad, but is within my age bracket, than someone who is a little older. I have since told her that I wouldnt be friends with him anymore and I explained the situation to him as well. He thinks its crazy and so do I. Any suggestions about what I can do to get my mom to be more accepting of him being in my life??? I have no plans of marraige ANY time soon and have a lot of goals for myself in the future that he also supports. I also have friends that are my age who have boyfriends who are significantly older than they are (up to 33years old)What do I do?!?!

Unlike most women who commented about older men, I love an older man. This preference goes back many years. My first boyfriend, my first lover, was a man much older thanmyself. I was 17 when I, not he, created a situation where sex happened between myself and John, a much, much older man. I was attracted to him; I pursued him for months; and I seduced him. I was shameless. He was about 55 or 56. But he was a beautiful man, and he was the sweetest, kindest, handsomest man I have ever known; and to this day I still love that man. He died years later. I so desperately wanted to be with him forever.
I am not an unattractive woman today. I get a lot of unwanted attention most of the time - I was blessed, or cursed, with large breasts that draw the eyes of most men. I've had my share of dating men my age, from the time I was a teenager. But there never was one that I wanted to be with forever.
Now, an older man is something else. John was a well muscled behemoth of a man. He was ruggedly handsome, and strong. But he was so gentle with me and he treated me as if I were a princess. When we were together he focused his attention on me, and he made me feel so special. We would talk for hours, about books, about movies, about our lives, breathessly sharing secrets about each other. I couldn't wait until the next day when I could run over to his house again, to be with him. He was truly an amazing man. And I have met many such men over the years since, all much older than myself, enough to qualify me to say that I prefer older men. But there is a limit. They are still healthy, vibrant, and lusty.
Some out there might say I"m looking for a man like my grandfather. Or that I am seeking a safe relationship. Some might say I am looking to get money from them. All untrue.
It's just preference. Veronica.

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with a 7-year age difference, but it sounds like your mom is just worried about you. In certain situations it takes being together for a while before other people accept it -- and sometimes they never will. Hopefully things will work out in your situation. :)

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
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Well, my partner and the father of my three kids is over 20 years older than me. Of course, I wouldn't change a thing.. because I couldn't. We've been together for 11 years, but sometimes nowadays I secretly wish he was a bit younger. I feel sad that I can't have the dream that we will grow old together. I know life is unpredictable... but just the dream would have been nice. And people always think we're together because he's rich. Which he's not. My close friends and family are fine. But you'd be surprised how many comments and looks I've gotten. It's either a very close-minded or a very bored world out there, I tell ya! ;)
So those are my two cents.
http://watermelonmama.wordpress.com/

I just started seeing a man 12 1/2 years older than me (I'm 27, he's 39) and am finding myself to be a smitten kitten and even getting a little insecure/freaked out by how much I like him.

You see, the oldest man I've ever dated has been 6 years older than me, and it worked out pretty well, until I broke up with him ( I was 22 and had no clue what I wanted, etc.) Now 5 years later, I gave up on men in their 20's and then soon after met John- 39 almost 40- and feel crazy about him and suprised by how natural this all feels. So I'll give my recent discoveries to dating an older man and you might find these to parallel your experience:

1. He communicates way more honestly and effectively than a younger man. Maybe he's just not afraid to say what's on his mind because he's been there done that and would rather be blatantly honest.

2. He has his shit together and gives you room to get yours together, too. He has a life and respects that you have one, too. Won't be too freaked out when you have to postpone your date because your friend is in town unexpectedly or you have to go to sleep early on a Friday for the big race, flight, etc on Saturday morning.

3. He makes plans in advance. This has to do with #2 on the list. He has a life, knows that you have one, and if you're to combine them, you have to have advance warning (i.e. you need to be asked out a few days before). Younger guys like to wait til the last minute in case something better comes along. Even if you look like Claudia Schiffer, young guys tend to always look for something "better" cause the can't appreciate what's right in front of them.

4. Which leads to..He will DATE you. He won't only be looking for sex, he'll be looking to get to know you, to see if you're wife/mother material. To see if your brain can match up to your body.

5. And finally, he will know why you are the most beautiful, interesting, vibrant woman in the room and he will know you deserve an equal. He won't be stingy with affection and he'll let you feel like a million bucks and he'll feel that way, too, because he won you over.

minette en feu

I recently dated an older man 35 years older than myself. At the time I felt loved, wanted and cherished. But, like some relationships, all that pretty much died down after the honeymoon portion of dating; and then reality hit me like a brick, right in the head. I began to question myself why I was in the relationship to begin with, knowing that when he was in his 30's, I was just an infant. Despite the love that we felt for each other, there were also differences. Differences in socializing; I socialized with individuals from my age bracket 30-39 year olds. And he socialized with his....50-80 year olds. It wasn't like one night I could say, "Hey, get dressed and let's go out to the club with my friends." I knew what the answer was going to be and at that time in the night he would be getting ready for bed so he could be energized for his daily retirement routine the next day. I know that the saying is, if you love somebody then the differences shouldn't be such a big deal-work through them. It was kinda difficult for me to, and perhaps because we were at a different stage in life. He had already lived out his life and was enjoying retirement. As for myself, I was just beginning to know what I wanted out of life and what I wanted career wise. I had finally figured out what I wanted in my lifetime and was pursuing it. To be frank, we were generations apart. It didn't mix well. Although he was the sweetest man I have known yet, I didn't want to cheat myself out of finding out what else was out there within my own age bracket-someone in my own generation who I can relate to in most aspects of life. And someone who I can experience life with at the same level. There will be differences of course, but perhaps not ones major such as the ones I have encountered with my ex-35 years older mate. There is so much to consider when dating an older man, and for myself, it was overwhelming. We are still good friends, but that is about as far as it will become from here on out. I learned alot from this relationship, and my preference in age when it comes to dating has also changed. I am not closed to the option of dating men in my age bracket any longer. I welcome it with open arms!

I was googling when I found your post. I'm in a similar situation, yes. However, I have also taken a sociology course recently which tought me that the socially acceptable age is half your age plus 7. Example: A man 40 could date someone 27 years old and it would be socially acceptable. 40 yrs / 2 = 20 + 7 = 27. Do the math and figure it out.

However, my own parents are 17 years apart. Eventually you will be socially acceptable :)

,,and I dont mean sexual experience - although that is a factor. 

I mean .,,I am in my late 20s and I am fed up with guys in their 20s. I NEVER go out with guys younger than me. Ive only known one guy who is even worthy of that and we're just good friends. I feel like it all depends on what you have been through in your life and what you have experienced. I like older guys. There's something about a good lookin older guy...(as long as he is single! Adultry is WRONG!)  I am just tired of trying to have a decent conversation with immature guys in their 20s.  Just a conversation seems like the biggest challenge because we are never on the same level. They cant take their minds off of South Park long enough to disscuss....the weather! I am not a sexist but guys DO mature slower than girls. I cant click with guys in their 20s because most of them are spoily and have never been thru the things I have been through. Im not crazy about dating a man who has children but I love kids so...if that comes along with dating older guys- okay I'll try. Its a 9 out of 10 chance anyway. I have tried to date an older guy and I tried to make the best of it but the "relationship" went to hell because of his personality (disorder). He is a compulsive liar and a crook and that had nothing to do with his age. 

I am stuck I guess. I want a mature strong man and I feel I cannot find that with a guy my age or in his 20s. I like older men but I want one who has his sh!t together and is compassinate and I just feel like I can communicate with older guys better. Communication is very important. Being able to TALK instead of having to explain EVERYthing to a childish BOY is something I have to go for. Ive had enough of the boys. 

..age limits for me I think would be 30 to 45. So,,,there are the - ugh- numbers. 

There is something about an older man. I could never find a connection with someone my age. Last year I married my best friend and he happens to be 16 years older than me. I just turned 30 in June, so do the math. I will say, that its not for every woman and i would not attempt to tell anyone to follow in my foot steps. But, He and I are in the same place in our lives. He was married before, and i might as well have been, neither with any kids. So, it worked for us. Its just like finding any other relationship, being in the same place in life at the same time.   *getting off my soapbox now*

I am seeing a man 25+ years older and I am here to say that age difference doesn't have to be an issue. For some people it is, whether they're the ones dating an older man or not. If you're the woman dating the older man and you have an issue with the age gap, maybe the relationship isn't for you. Like any relationship, it has to feel right. If the gap feels too big, there is a good chance it is, for you anyway. Obviously dating an older man has its advantages and disadvantages but that is all relative to what you're looking for.

I wasn't looking for an older man but I found one. Truthfully, I have no idea where the relationship is going or will go. What I do know is that I like how I feel when I'm with him; he is the kind of companion I see for myself, and on top of it, I never feel the age gap between us. Right now we're just having fun and spending time together without any plans for the future. Whether it works out or not, I will know that my heart was in the right place.

i always been attracted to older guys n by older guys i mean 25-30, however i am only 19 going on 20 soon n things havent been going well so i just dont bother dating, i feel like maybe its not the rite time.... n here comes a 36 yr old man into my life randomly n rite then i knew we would get along perfectly, he has an ex wife and a 5 yr old soon but it dosent matter to me cuz we connect so well n we havent even started to date, he just comes to my work to say hi everyday. we talk on the phone n text each other everyday as well. hes the only guy i felt so strong for, but the fact that hes 17 yrs older kinda worries me n what my family might think! any help please???

i always been attracted to older guys n by older guys i mean 25-30, however i am only 19 going on 20 soon n things havent been going well so i just dont bother dating, i feel like maybe its not the rite time.... n here comes a 36 yr old man into my life randomly n rite then i knew we would get along perfectly, he has an ex wife and a 5 yr old soon but it dosent matter to me cuz we connect so well n we havent even started to date, he just comes to my work to say hi everyday. we talk on the phone n text each other everyday as well. hes the only guy i felt so strong for, but the fact that hes 17 yrs older kinda worries me n what my family might think! any help please???

Last week, I recently met a man who is 53. I just turned forty one. I have become intrigued with him for some reason. I guess that is why I'm googling. My exhusband was 7 years older than I was although we did not have much in common. I also dated a younger man 11 years older, the attraction was incredible, although we didn't have anything in common either except sex. LOL... I was ashamed about the age difference, what would his mother say to me if he would have brought me home. LOL With the older guy, it seems that we have a lot of things in common and I feel very comfortable with him so far. I'm assuming it all has to do with compatability. I don't know what he is looking for, but the chemistry is fantastic. What I am worried is having him meet my family. Of course it is too soon since I don't know the direction of the relationship yet. My mother is very critical and she always told me not to date an old man. But most of you have posted that meeting men your age, you really havent found anything. My sister is 53 and she is married to a man twelve years her senior. My mother is always bugging her. So you never know.

most men are encouraged to be complete losers by our culture, and that won't be getting better, any time soon. When you're going to meet men in a bar, or in a sports bar, say to yourself, "This is where he's spending his 20's. Why should I assume he's going to spend his 30's/40's/ 50's anywhere else?" So, unless you're ALSO planning to spend your adult life in these places, go someplace that more accurately reflects your aspirations for your future. That has a much higher likelihood of turning up men with similar interests, and then you can worry about their age.

For example, I met my first husband at a food co-op. He died young of cancer, so the statistics on "growing old together" can be chucked out, in this case. I met my second husband at a community theatre event. Although I wouldn't have dated a widower with a young child, he didn't have such rules. Fortunately for me, and our several kids together. ;)

Men come in jackass flavor at all ages. That's the important thing. Even if you marry someone with your very same birthday, you'll probably outlive them. The question is, what will you do before then? You have to be comfortable in yourself, and the rest follows. 

Just my experience. Take from it whatever helps, and discard the rest.

http://www.blogher.com/blog/she-who

I have a hard time with this too, I'm embarrassed to admit. I wish that I didn't care, I think we should absolutely not care. I'm talking mostly here about the public, people on the street, who might stare at couples they find to be unusual.

However, when it comes to family pressure, I'm stronger about this. I really believe that we have to try to free ourselves from our family chains. If we are over 17 years old, our mothers really don't have any business telling us what to do, as long as we're not in an abusive relationship.

They might mean well, but we must accept the responsibilities of our own lives, and that means telling our families to let us live, to stop judging, to stop making life difficult for us. Our lives are not theirs. If they can't understand that, we won't have any choice but to not share anything with them. We won't introduce the people we date. We'll live our lives apart and away. And that isn't as nice, but it might be necessary.

If you feel that you need to have an experience with someone - even if it most likely won't work out for a long-term relationship -- then have your experiece. There is something you need  to learn from it. Don't let family pressure stop you.

I've been dating a man 25 years older than me for over a year, and its been heaven. I know its a big age difference but there was just something about him I couldn't resist. It really shocks people sometimes but you get to a point in life when you just have to do what makes you happy and set everything else aside. Our families didn't really approve at first but now it seems like nothing to everyone. Everyone is skeptical at first, and always makes that very clear. However, if it is true love, it'll last and after awhile most everyone will concede to the fact that they were too judgmental. So hang in there. Dating an older man can be so rewarding and satisfying. In fact, we've had such a weird and wonderful love affair we started a blog about it. It's called "Dating the Older Man; Sex, Laughs, and Viagra." http://datingtheolderman.blogspot.com/ 

We realized there were just too many funny quirks that accompany this kind of relationship. Couldn't let that go to waste. Anyway, it's great to find a forum about this. Take care. 

I'm in love with a man who is 19 years older than I. He is the most wonderful man I've ever met.  Everyone's experience can be different, but this is my story. I met my sweetie (Wes) while working as a live in caregiver for a mentally disabled teenage. Wes was a friend of my boss's soon to be ex husband. The moment we saw eachother there was something there between us. It was like an instant connection. The funny thing was we barely spoke a word to eachother, because I was talking to my Boss's ex. A week later he invited me and my boss's two daughter out to go boating on Wednesday.  That Friday we had our first sort of kind of date on his boat. The whole thing was magical. We did that the whole summer long.  Ever since then we've been together.  He is such a kind, gentle, loving, caring, devoted, stubbern, loyal, smart ass I know.  He has so many good qualities that they outshine the bad. He loves me for me. His only complaint is I'm too demanding.  The last and most important thing is; he has a wonderful 16-year-old daughter.  At first she didn't want anything to do with me.  She was weirded out by the whole deal. Then after a little while she and I became the best of friends.  I live a wonderful life with the two of them in it. People may judge you if you decide to date an older man, but if it makes you happy then that's all that matters. 

I really like and can relate to what you say about being hit on by older men. At my job, I see many different people and everyday I get hit on by men of all ages, from 18 to late 30's. I'm 20. I've always been attracted to older men. I'm not sure why. Lately however, I seem to meet more older (single) men and they always make good conversation. As compared to the guys my age , when the first thing they tell me is "My god you're beautiful."  I never thought I'd have to get tired of hearing the same line everytime I meet someone new.

So would dating someone who is somewhere between 10-15 years my senior be wrong? I mean i am a college student, and most of these men are well settled into their careers... I'm not sure how to go about this...