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Any article that deals with age can be a sensitive one - but today, though I'm writing this in delicate tone, I'd like to ask women if they have a preference - or perhaps even 'rules' - around what age of men (or women) they'll date. More specifically, is there a point where dating older feels too old?
During the first two years of my divorce, I dated men of up to 12 years younger or older than me. And I'll admit that I veered more on the younger side . But that came more as a result of needing to explore what was out there - and I wasn't in the mindset to appreciate older men's experience and intellect over the younger men's brawn.
Since then, however, my age paramenters HAVE tightened up. I usually look to date men who are within a few years of me on either side. Why? Cause I hope/assume we'll have more in common in terms of life experience. And physically, I must say I find men my age who have taken care of themselves, very attractive.
Still, a divorced girlfriend of mine recently mentioned she could never date a man more than six years older than her. Nor could she date a man if he looked six years older. Her reason? "I have really young parents. They're both in their late fifties. So if I date older I feel like I'm sitting across from my dad - I can't go there!."
Driven by curiosity, I then asked a few other girlfriends for their thoughts on dating older. One expressed her keen adoration of men who are bald or greying, not to mention their wisdom, their stability, their sexual experience...
But two of them agreed that dating older would somehow remind them of their own mortality; like suddenly they'd find themselves socializing with rooms full of grey-haired people and feeling like they'd skipped a generation of their lives. "Getting divorced in my late thirties has already triggered many of my own insecurities," one confided. "And I don't want to feel old or any older than I already am!"
Hmmm. So it appears one's choice NOT to date older can have less to do with him and everything to do with her own fears...
So I'm putting it out to you: Do you have an age cap when it comes to dating? Does a fear of aging factor into your choices? Or does age truly have no bearing on your decision whatsoever?
Delaine Moore
Because a woman's body never lies...
