- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 6
-
Sparkle (0)
Over the years, I've met people who weren't looking for love. Not in any active way, and not in any passive way, where maybe you're not out on the Internet or going on singles outings, but you're open and ready to reach out for who comes your way. Certainly, there's more than one way to be open to love, but sometimes people are full-on off-the-market.
There are a lot of good reasons for this. I would never date while unemployed, for example. After a break-up and certainly after a divorce are certainly a good times to turn your focus inward. We all go through periods in our life where other things take precedence over finding love.
Even something like getting in shape, quitting smoking, or getting your personal space or finances in order, can be a good reason to take yourself off the market - to a point. There's a line out there, and often it's separating time well spent single from time spent afraid and/or lazy.
When I found myself single in L.A., I had a plethora of reasons that I wasn't ready to date. For one thing, at about 130 - a good 15 pounds lighter than I am now and with tons of muscle - I thought I needed to be thinner to date in Los Angeles. Seriously.
When I was struggling with my debt, I thought I wasn't financially ready to date (for a while that was more true than not).
And I struggled with my career goals - could I date while aspiring? Could I date when my life was so different than how I envision it will be? In particular, my schedule will someday change dramatically, as will my time constraints and finances.
Maybe I should wait, I thought. Wait to be perfectly buff, wait to be out of debt, wait until I'm working production-type hours. Wait, wait, wait.
At some point, you're lying to yourself and sabotaging your chances for love. You most likely either giving into fear or giving into laziness.
Love is worth giving yourself a smack in the face or a kick in the butt to get over it.
No one out in the dating pool is perfect. If you wait for life or yourself to be perfect, you just might wait forever.
Take a good, honest look at yourself. If you want to make changes, then start moving towards them... and then get out there like the honestly flawed human you are.
Whether it's fear or laziness that's holding you back, I recommend the full jump in. Pick up the phone and call someone. Go on a date. Take a deep breath and throw out some intent out into the universe.
Because what you might get back is worth whatever it takes.
~
Why I'm Not Dating - Single Mom Seeking knows when to take time.
Once again, I just don't want to date... - Love this post about standing up for what *you* want to do.
Onward! - An awesome post about taking that first step out.
I have to share this - If you Google Blog Search "not dating" almost every link you get is about famous people who are "not dating." Could I possibly care less? No.
Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.
