Dating: She talks a good game, but can she play?

BlogHer Original Post

So as is wont to happen on eHarmony, suddenly it's raining men. Of course, with my schedule, it doesn't take too many men to make a storm, but still. There Is Activity.

And while closing matches certainly occurs within the communication phases, there's just as much chance, if not more, that There Be First Dates Ahead!

So... Yeah... You know how I always say you've got to get out there, and be open, and I go all on about how first dates are just fun and meeting new people is fun, and men, men are fun... Yeah, I'm feeling a little full of it because I find that I am Nervous. Which is rather out of character for me, truth be told.

I mean, there's nervous, and then there's cat feet on the edge of the bathtub, you know? I'm feeling a little afraid of the water.

I think it's two things. One, I'm feeling more than a little reticent about cold dating. The eHarmony guided communication really helps with that, but I've lived in L.A. for six years, and I do wish dating would happen more organically from my friends and acquaintances. I would prefer to date someone I've known for a while, or at all, IRL. Or someone my friends have known for a while, or at all, IRL.

There's a lot of cute, great guys around me, but... so far, at least, nothing gives. (That said, hooray for cute, great guys! Even if they're not into me, just hooray for that great energy. And eye candy.)

The other thing is that I sometimes think that I don't have the strength to love one more person who doesn't love me back the same way. I mean, it's part of life, and I deal with it my way, and I like how I deal with it, and I know I'll get through it, but Ouch. Seriously, I'm Over the Ouch. It's emotionally difficult, and it makes me frustrated and tired.

I also know that the solution (salvation?) is to get back out there, have fun, work hard, value friendship, be honest, and keep living. There's nothing to be done with this torch pertinaciously clinging to my open hand, but to take it up then and use it to light the way forward and through. So that's just what I'm going to do.

Nervously. With two or three kitty paws on the side of the tub.

I *have* been giving thanks for a reminder of what Love really feels like. I was in pain for so many years after moving to L.A., and have been in more than one stupidly flawed relationship since then, and I think I forgot what it really feels like for a beat there. It is my personal opinion that Love - feeling Love - is always a gift. No matter the circumstances. So Universe, I thank you for it. Even when it's Ouch.

And, Onward.


Linky Goodness:

Dating Literarily - from Kathryn at Not All those That Wander Are Lost, a post about romantic literally compatibility.

Not a Martian - from Foreverloyal at On My Mind, a post about being nervous about interracial dating.

I must like him more than I thought. - from Hypatia at ...I Know Why You're Single...,a post about that moment where you know that you're sunk.


Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.

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