DaughterBlogging - Your Own Women's History

But it's a good point. If you know your mom doesn't want to be written about, that's something you need to take into consideration for the good of your relationship. It's a balancing act sometimes for sure...what you need and want to write vs. how someone will feel about it. Good luck.

Laurie

Blogging is whatever we want it to be...and if daughter-blogging helps you work out what you need to, great. Blogging honestly, finally, even a little bit, helped me so much. I'm glad it's helped you too. 

Laurie

LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

Private and bad are not the same thing, obviously...and there is plenty good I could write about my mom but choose not to because it's not my story to tell. But again, every family, every blogger, has to draw those lines. In a lot of ways it's uncharted territory because it's possible as never before to share family and relationship stories immediately with the world.It's such a personal choice.

Laurie

LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

Daughter blogging!  i think you just found a descrpition for my undescribable blog!  I write about my mother frequently, and almost never kindly.  And I have NO problems with that.  I haven't seen her in 17 years (today, actually is the 17th anniversary of my leaving her life), she doesn't know my last name, and none of my relatives know I have a blog.  I don't use her name or specific locations/details, so she could NEVER google search me, and my blog is written under heavy pseudonym, so she'll never be able to find it.

Of all the things my blog has done for me, sorting out my issues with my mother has been the main benifit of keeping it, for me. 

Mr Lady www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com ( http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com )

I could never betray my mother by saying anything negative or private about her online. But that is generally a given on my blog... I follow the 'if you don't have something good to say, don't say it' rule.

Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)

http://www.5minutesformom.com

http://twitter.com/5minutesformom

I've written about my mother - my issues with her and how I am trying not to pass certain things down to my own daughter. 

She considers it a violation of boundaries. She doesn't like it. She gets pretty mad and stops talking to me. 

So, out of respect for her and to preserve our relationship - I avoid writing about my mother too much on my websites. 

Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me ( http://www.traceesioux.blogspot.com )

Blog Fabulous ( http://www.blogfabulous.com )

 I've checked out your blog and you do write a great deal about family.
Choosing to make it largely anonymous and without pictures is your
approach - but it IS to me very personal. The stories are great - it
doesn't matter to me that I don't read names or see faces. You're writing about your family and the very important work of collecting stories over a lifetime. I love that.

I try to do the same, I just include our photos. And if I didn't include my family, at all or in pictures, that would be a huge omission - again, in my eyes. I'll need to hear more from you about how writing a blog post about your mom would be any more personal than the book, save for the obvious that I can't (likely) read your book at the click of a mouse online.

But like I said to Cynthia, this is all something we need to decide for ourselves and for what works for our families. For you that means being vague but still writing about the intensity of mother/daughter and other relationships. For me it means doing that plus putting a ton of our photos up on Flickr. I'd take anything down that I was asked to with good reason, but so far I haven't been and thankfully no one seems to be suffering.

Laurie ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

I think one of the prime issues in blogging period, that BlogHer has covered in segments like "naked blogging" at the conferences, is how much we're willing to disclose for whatever reason. There are things I don't write about my family because I'm not personally comfortable with disclosing them, and of course I do take other peoples' feelings into account. I have no axes to grind on the internet. Still, I think so many good stories don't ever get told, and blogging is an excellent vehicle to put them out there, with good judgment of course. 

I do write about my grandmother frequently - my dad's mom, that is. When my mother's mother died in September, I was with her by myself. I've written very little about it because it's just too soon for me and it was quite traumatic. But I do think that the stuff I've read about caregiving and coping with the loss of older relatives has been really helpful for me, and I'd imagine for others who are actively doing it as well. 

 Also, most of my family does not read my blog. They either don't know about it, aren't techies, or don't care to.  I have no idea how they feel about it, and to tell the truth, beyond my immediate relatives, I haven't thought too much about it. I think I make good choices relative to their identities and integrity, and would just have to cross any difficult bridges when I came to them. I'm okay with that.  

Laurie ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

Heck, I wrote a BOOK about my mom (with her help), but to blog about her...wouldn't that be just too personal?! I have blogged about family members, incl my mother, stepmother and mother-in-law, but always with care and respect. I don't mention names or post recognizable photos. Blogging is just too public and there's a fine line I don't want to cross in exposing too much of a private life that isn't mine. So far, my family has enjoyed the posts so guess I've been polite and vague enough for them.

Linda http://www.moonbridgebooks.com http://moonbridgeblog.blogspot.com

It's funny.  I have written occasionally about my mom http://dontgelyet.typepad.com/dontgeltoosoon/2007/... and her sisters, especially about their younger lives, but I have the feeling that some of it bothers others in my family.  I have to figure out how much I'm willing to do that.  My mother died several years ago, so it wouldn't be personally painful, but I'm not sure that I can share her stories when they belong to others as well.  I'd be grateful for thoughts about this as it's a real issue.

Cynthia Samuels   Partner
Cobblestone Associates, LLP   
Blog and Media Strategies and Content Development Online and on Television
http:dontgelyet.typepad.com/dontgeltoosoon