Day 18.... It's a new day...It's a new plan for my journey through my 1st NaBloPoMo!!!!
So I really tried to go by the prompts. But the ones this week haven't inspired me to writing anything. They haven't made me jump my laptop and just make love to the keys. And that's the feeling I want. I want to feel like there's a real intimacy between me and the keys. But ever since I became backed up last week, I kinda haven’t really been into what I was posting. It wasn’t until the dryer broke that I actually enjoyed writing this past week or so. It actually sparked a little creativity.
Some of the prompts, I don’t really know how to answer. I don’t question myself on certain things. I don’t like to keep a checks and balance sheet of what I do or don’t do. They tend to make me feel like I am owed something from the people I do more for than I should and make me feel inadequate when I think about those who do for me. I already have a tendency to do more for those who do nothing for me in return and then I go over bored with quilt when someone does something for me and I cant repay them in some way. One prompt made me feel bad because it asked when was the last time you donated..... well sorry I don’t have a lot of resources to donate anything other than my time or a quarter in the Aldi shopping cart. This prompt made me think I am not being charitable enough. It made me fell like I needed to stop what I am doing and donate all my kids' Christmas stuff (which isn’t much). I know that’s not what they meant by some of the prompts but that's what they made me feel like I was doing. Keeping a checks and balance sheet.
So last night, I was telling my hubby about this and I can always count on him to say the right thing. He looked at me and said “write about that”. I said “write about what?”. He said “write about the fact you don’t feel inspired by the prompts anymore”.
I swear he may not be book smart but he sure can be a genius when I need him to be. He has always had a way of getting the perfect point across at the perfect moment. I may have to figure out exactly what he is trying to say sometimes. But when I do, I am blown away with the depth of this man's knowledge.
Now because my hubby opened the door for me, I am no longer following the prompts unless I like them and the inspire me to make love to my keys. I will find my own path. I don’t know why I didn’t just do that from the beginning. I have always marched to my own drum.
So thank you hubby for the great inspiration you have given me. And I really hope you guys like where I am going to go with the rest of this month.