the day i almost died...

As I lay on the hospital bed with monitors hooked up to me and machines beeping and squealing, I can't help but think of my friend who died just a few days prior...doing the same thing I'm doing now. 

 

I. am. terrified.

My nurse looks worried as she checks the numbers. The doctor walks in to check on me, and the look of concern on everyone's face is alarming to me.

I can't do this. Let me go home.
40 hours of this pain is surely enough...please make it stop. But it's not over yet...my heart rate is crashing now. "Please let us make it through this..." I say out loud - to no one and everyone at the same time.

His heart rate is crashing now. We are both in serious trouble.
By this time I am only hearing bits and pieces of the conversation in the room. My head is spinning and I feel like I'm slipping away while everyone watches.

I hear the doctor yelling for an OR to be prepped. We've run out of time...without surgery we will both die. I am panicking and can hardly think...I may die.

My baby may die.

4 years ago I almost died along with my yet unborn son. His placenta had failed, I had been induced several weeks early in hopes of saving him, and I was suffering from HELLP Syndrome. With the help of one amazing nurse and a team of 4 doctors, we both made it. 40 hours of intensive, dangerous (induced) labor and one very fast emergency c-section later...my Superboy was born.


Today, I have an amazing 4 year old that lights up my whole world. Yes, he has a myriad of invisible disabilities that make his life challenging. But, much like the way he came into this world...we will continue to fight together to make his life a good one.

 

Happy Birthday Superboy.

 

{cross-posted on www.raisingsupermom.com}

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