The Day my Daughter Met her Sister

Before I married my ex, I found out that he had a daughter that was put up for adoption.  I was a little nervous to say the least when I found out because I was very pregnant at the time and not married yet.  I just didn't want this cloud over us.  So I asked him about it and he told me yes, it was true.  He was 17 and she was 15, they were high school sweethearts, she got pregnant, her parents sent her away and the baby was put up for adoption with sealed court records.  He had no say in the matter.  In the 70s that was just how it was.

The ex and I had seperated in 1995 and during the time we were apart, he took the opportunity to try and find her.  He contacted the birth mother and got his daughter's name and address and drove to her home and just parked in the street where she lived and then she pulled into the driveway and he got out of the car and said "hi, i'm your birth dad".  The birth mother had already been in contact with her the year before and told ex hubby that T did not want to meet him.  That she had petitioned the court to open the adoptions and we never responded to the court papers.  

So for the last five years of our marriage, I was facing self doubt, did I accidently throw something from a courthouse away?  I certainly didn't do it on purpose, after the birth of my second child, my daughter, I fantasized about his birth daughter coming into our lives.  It never happened while the kids were young.  I cannot tell you the weight this lifted off of my shoulders after all these years wondering if I had indeed accidently thrown something away... I hadn't!  

My daughter has been persistant in trying to find a way to meet with her half sister for a few years and was met with only vague responses that sounded like her half sister really didn't want to explore her birth family, she was happy with the parents she had.

And then something happened.  I'm thinking it was Nikki's persistance and perserverence that led them to actually meet.  Yesterday!  Nik and hubby and her kids drove to Bethlehem (in PA) and they hung out and talked things through and made close fast friends.  T also clarified that she had never petitioned the courts to open the adoption records.  Her mom worked at the courthouse and asked T if she wanted to meet her birth parents (she was 18 at the time) and she said sure.  But I think after she met her birth mother, she came away with gratitude that she had placed her for adoption at the time and for the fact that she was raised by such awesome parents.

Nikki said last night that this was the best present she ever had, meeting her half sister, her neice and nephew.  She sent me a picture and T looks just like Mike (yes my first hubby's name was Mike too) I am so happy for them.

And so relieved that I hadn't made the booboo I was accused of for so many years, that now Mike can finally forgive me and I can forgive him for accusing me of something I was pretty sure I didn't do!

Merry Christmas!  

And welcome to the family T!  :)

Nikki and Tara

gosh they look like sisters, don't they?  

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