The Tooth Fairy (Sort of) Screwed Up
The other day, my daughter lost a tooth. It was one of those real wigglers that didn't want to come out, so I slipped in a little extra tug while helping her floss and *ting* we heard it fly across the room and hit the wall. "It looks like a macadamia nut." I observed, while rinsing it off in the sink. But she was gone – on her way to retrieve the tooth pillow she got a few years ago as a Christmas present from The Tooth Fairy herself. Then something happened... I got sick.
It was the shortest, most bizarre flu of my life, which you can read about on yesterday's blog; and when I woke up the next morning, I was greeted by a very unhappy face.
"Mommy," she sobbed, "The Tooth Fairy didn't take my tooth!"
"What? How is that even possible?" I asked, "Are you sure? Maybe she wanted you to keep it? Did she leave a note?"
She rushed back into her room to investigate and I jumped up to do what mommies do. "What's going on?" asked my husband, who walked in scratching his head. "The TOOTH FAIRY forgot to take Isla's TOOTH!" I advised.
"Oh, SHIT... I forgot all about her tooth!" he said, not knowing what to do, "Where is she?" I told him she was looking to see if the Tooth Fairy had left anything behind and suggested that perhaps he could help her while I searched the back of my closet.
By the time I made it into her room, she was jumping up and down, proudly displaying a brand new box of Squinkies that she found on the beanbag chair in our living room; and if you've never had the pleasure of vacuuming one of these little bastards up in your $500 Dyson, consider yourself warned. My husband was standing in front of her reading from a crinkled piece of copy paper that was taped to the box, "Dear Isla, if anyone asks... Tell them you got $.50. Love, TF."
A few minutes later, her father found $1.00 under the other pillow in her room, which we all found to be quite amusing. "You know what I think?" I began. "I think that the Tooth Fairy KNEW that mommy wasn't feeling good last night! She probably didn't want to catch the flu and was scared you might be sick, too. I'll bet that's why she left the tooth under your pillow!" Isla put the tooth on the kitchen counter before leaving for school that day. Or at least, that's what she told me. Those little winged bitches have a warped sense of humor...