Days 4-6: Definition, Eighties, Lava
By Tabitha Carnes on November 07, 2011
We’re headed out of town this afternoon, so I gotta keep it short so as to avoid aggravating my carpal-texting pain.
Just wanted to make a record of the current state of my abdominals. Hopefully in a couple months I will have an updated photo that is more defined. (Not that I’m complaining! I think my abs are pretty hot right now. But I have goals, people. I have goals.)
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I’m at my brother-in-law’s 30th birthday party tonight, which is ’80s themed, and I’m dressed up in my aerobics instructor outfit (complete with neon pinks, blues and purples, naturally). Kinda contemplating wearing this kinda thing once a month to the gym. I mean, it’s so hideously loud, but somehow I feel all ironic and hip and statement-making.
What statement am I making exactly? I don’t know. All I’m saying is it’s fun to be a little ridiculous sometimes. Right?
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I had all the ingredients for pumpkin bread since I was planning on making it for our Halloween potluck at work and then didn’t end up doing it that day.
So tonight I decided to make a batch, just for the heck of it. Except I realized that I actually didn’t have all the ingredients to make it. I was short about a cup of sugar. I did, however, have powdered sugar. (Cue ominous-foreshadowing-type music.)
Enter the supposed power of Google. I looked up whether it was okay to substitute powdered sugar in place of granulated, and whether there was a different conversion than 1:1. Sure enough, Google told me I could use 1 3/4 cups of powdered sugar for every cup of regular sugar, and the recipe would theoretically work. (But I was advised to check it more often, since it may cook faster than usual.)
Everything seemed to be going great! I normally bake this recipe for about an hour, and tonight it appeared to be pretty done around 45 minutes. I could tell that if I left it in much longer, the outer edges of the bread would get too hard/dry/unpleasant.
When I pulled the loaves out of the oven, the aroma was nothing short of
orgasmic. Er, I mean, heavenly. (Sorry, Mom.) But I cut into the first loaf, pulled out the edge slice, and then THIS happened:
An eruption of pumpkin-bread lava which consisted of at least 2/3 of the loaf, rendering it basically inedible. I actually tried spooning out all the lava to see if I could make tiny outer-edge slices from the little bit that actually cooked through, but it was too disastrous, and I only got a few bites out of it before I scrapped it. (But! Those bites tasted pretty good.)
My one last fleeting hope was that maybe the second loaf would magically turn out better. I used one nonstick pan and one Pyrex — maybe Pyrex would save the day? I tossed the second loaf back into the oven for 10 minutes (the oven was off, but still pretty hot). Alas, despite the cooked parts getting browner and crispier, that inner molten lava just got hotter and deadlier, but not solid-er.
And that, my friends, is why you can’t always trust what you read on the internet. Also, if you find yourself lacking the right kind of sugar? Just hold off until you can get it. This baking thing is touchy, I tell ya.
(Final thought: This is why I will never be a food blogger, unless I title my blog, “The Culinary Failure.”)
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