By goodnightmoon on September 16, 2009
Okay. I realized the second I clicked the “Publish Post” button on my first (official, public) blog entry, that I had issued an invitation for the Doubt Demons to come a'calling. Doubt Demons (DDs) is my pet name for those nasty personal "mental gremlins". I've been battling the belligerent bitches as long as I can remember. You see, as soon as I put myself "out there", even the slightest little bit, they barge in and “make themselves to home”.
It begins with those niggling little voices, whispering in my ear ~ “What the hell do you think you’re doing, exactly? This is so silly. " And " Ooooh, you've done it now. People are going to expect something from you." And “No one cares what you have to say. You’re a nobody.” Also “Bloggers are a dime a dozen. What makes you think you’re anything special? You’re just a copy-cat.” And my personal fave ~ “ Talking about yourself – just what kind of narcissist are you? You're just lame. " You get the picture. (On the bright side, the DDs have the logic & debating skills of a middle-school mean girl.)
So, for a good part of the day, I have been sending out the mental eviction notices. The DDs need to know that I’m not writing with any aspirations of fame and fortune, or for any kind of ego boost. I’m doing it, basically, because my friends and family, I’m quite sure, are exhausted. I have yapped for years about my story ideas, my sitcom ideas, my screenplay ideas, my idea for the perfect country song. They have listened to me and humored me to no end. So, the fact is, I’m really doing this as a courtesy to them. I’m confident they've grown quite weary of my “all talk/no action” m.o. I know I have. So, thanks for the encouragement, friends. I hope I don’t bore you too much. (Shut up, DD! Out! And don't let the door hit you in the ass!)
My question for you is this – how do your Doubt Demons torment you? And don’t say you don’t have them. I may just have to have you involuntarily committed.
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