Deadly Weapons a.k.a Baby Fingernails

If you were to come over today, not only would you be hit by an avalanche of toys and knick-knacks, you'd probably walk away with some pretty severe lacerations. Piggle is walking around with razors on the ends of his fingers. In other words?I haven't cut his nails in awhile.

There is nothing on Earth as lethal as a baby's overgrown nails...except maybe their teeth, but you can usually see those coming. I can't even count how many times I've almost lost an eye this week alone. It's not for lack of trying to cut them; he just becomes pure evil the minute I take the nail clippers out of the cupboard.

It's like his fingernails have grown so long that they've developed a personality of their own and are now embedding themselves in the boy's head. When the clippies come out, the nails start whispering to him to burn things, but by 'burn', I mean 'throw', and by 'things', I mean 'atomic tantrums'.

I have tried every possible way of dealing with his talons, but even when he's asleep, he somehow senses my plan before I've even acted on it. Asshole.

I managed to get half a nail done today, so I do feel some sense of accomplishment, but I still have 9.5 death blades to conquer. Joy.

Would it be wrong if I just put Bandaids on all of his fingers?


In order to comment on, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.