Dear All the Single Ladies: You Are Not Beyonce

When you say “What is wrong with young girls looking up to Beyoncé if they have no positive role models around them?” - I'm thinking... FIND them some positive role models

I don't begrudge a stripper's income, but I certainly wouldn't want my child to aspire to that! (Yes, I'm likening Beyoncé to a stripper.) ;-)

Okay One last time lol!!!!

I have to apologize to you "crunchyvtmommy" man when I say I am sorry I am saying I AM SORRYYYYY!!!

Wow when I read the post initially I was kind of thrown off and felt as if the point was the past and how we as parents want our children to view them. But when I actually read some of the prior post and seen how you responded well all I can say is IM SORRY. Your view is not the past it is what we as parents should be teaching our children to view when they are in front of the stuff. After reading one of the post you made to another person I realized that I can only fight for what I believe but how we write things can mean a whole diffrent thing so again IM SORRY LOL

Please no hard feeling

XOXOXO Veronica Cauley

Okay sorry I have to point out one more thing! For someone talking about how they live why would "you" "crunchyvtmommy" describe your bio as "Thug in a cocktail dress. SAHM to 2yo Pweezy & 11mo Cmoney. Living in Ithaca at Cornell w/ my Ivy League husband. Still a little crunchy... " I guess what got you on this story was the fact that Jay-Z was a thug????????

WOW, All i can say is WOW!

I am not the one to judge but really has it came to this where we find outrselves worried about how singers, actresses etc.... live their lives? I honestly do not care if Beyonce is pregnant Congrats to her and Jay-Z. But the past is the past living for the future is what makes us human. Our children learn from parents not the TV, Music, movies etc.... As a parent of four my children understand the diffrence from right and wrong. Do I tell my children not to watch them no because in reality this is the real world. Why shun them from it when we as parents know that they will enter this one day? I am all for what you are stating but do not agree that you have to bring up the past to prove a point.

Shoot I was a military brat who graduated at 16 ended up pregnant messed up school and it took me untill I was 24 before I realized I needed to wake up. I now own two resturants in school and have my cars house etc.... Does this make me a bad role model? Again Wow this conversation can go soooooo far but i think I will stop while I am ahead!

P.S. My children think the world of me and as my past may be a horrible one it was life changing!!!!!!!I would not trade it for anything!

Would you kill me if I said "nobody is perfect." In a society that single superstars are giving birth before getting married I am happy to see that she did get married and then have a child. Yes Jay-Z is a former drug dealer, but "former" is the operative word. He is not on the streets selling crack anymore. If we judge everyone based on what they have done in the past, well I just don't think there are going to be any "appropriate" role models. I am not a Beyonce fan but that is a story for a different day.

I love this post. And I agree. Society complains about how our children are turning out but look at who we give them to emulate and follow as role models. If we want our children to be better, we have to give them something and someone better to learn from - it starts with us. Thanks for the great read.

I thnk it is great that Jay-Z is a "former" drug dealer and it is great that both he and Beyonce are successful, but I agree with your point that what we need to tell our children is that they need to focus more on thenselves than thinking that they are going to be "like Beyonce". They chances of them becoming as weathly for shaking their booty is unlikely. Plus, making a big deal about her getting married and THEN having a baby makes it look like no one in the African American community does it right. Now, it is great that as a celebrity she did it right, but as you said, there should be no "trophy" for having done it right. We need to TALK with our kids about why they admire certain people to make them start thinking about what they saying and then point out the "real" people in their lives who have either turned their lives around or who have always "done it right". But, like you said, that takes energy on our part!

Wait, just because a man dealt drugs you wouldn't even look at him? Have you ever done any research on the life that Jay-Z had and his story? People can change and improve and it's pretty amazing if they do. Sometimes people have to do things that society frowns upon because there is really no other options for them. You're being a little judgemental I think. I think it's easy for middle class Americans to frown on people doing "the wrong things" in their own country. Also, it's not wrong for Beyonce to be an adult entertainer. That is her choice. I don't think "Beyonce did it right" is a particularly special statement... But I don't think that is talking about raising children either. It sounds like it's just a statement coming from the mouths of fans.

I couldn't agree more! This is a great post and so important to make sure we consider who we are talking about when we call someone a "roll model." There are amazing people out there that I think may be a more appropriate role model for my daughter.

Great post. Sadly, values are low on the list for most Americans these days. It's not a big deal to be edgy or risky with your lifestyle or behavior. Matter of fact, the raunchier you will behave...the more you'll get paid.
I'm thankful for young adult kids who see through the blek of these high profile/paid entertainers and see them for what they really are--People choosing money and fame over righteous behavior/values.

Thank you so much for this! I completely concur and have long said that Beyonce is not who I would choose for a role model for young women of color today. Great post!

Have you seen any portion of Bridezillas, Bad Girls or Fox's Cable News Network where Bambi [blonde, big boobs, short hot pink and red dresses] like hosts offer their commentary and opinions on US unemployment figures and other issues of the day?

These FOX hosts should show up on Regis and discuss their latest boob jobs-- not offer commentary on US unemployment numbers.. and then you want to criticize an entertainer? Thank God she did not tell us her jitters before marrying, the fun she had pissing off other girls nor offer her opinion on social and economic issues..

Premise is wrong, start here-- Black women [nor any other ethnic group] do not need role models... Like yourself and find you.

You raise some important points that I'm glad to see people talking about. I have nothing against Beyonce, but not having young children around I never considered what you said about her being an adult entertainer. That is a valid statement, and it is disturbing that young girls might see her as a role-model when higher education is a far more worthy goal for girls. Looks, celebrity (and booty-shaking abilities) can fade, but education is an asset no one can take away. Kudos to you for inspiring us to think and talk about what really matters to girls of any ethnic background.

I agree...you are so great to be speaking out like this for our youth....they need to hear this!

CrunchTVMommy, Beyonce is very talented and has worked hard at her talent. I'm a fan, but I am not a worshiper. And, she's not the only entertainer who spreads her legs, shakes her rump and calls it dancing -- they all do it. They're giving the public what it wants. However, I think your argument about why you don't feel she's a role model should not be based on what her husband did in his past. We all deserve second chances and the opportunity to redeem ourselves.

Last, what concerns me most about many of the entertainers out there we idolize is that they don't have the best education and many never went to college. I admire their success, but what good does it do when Blacks have greater percentages unemployed, poor and in prison? We need too value education! The vast majority of our culture aren't going to be dancers, singers, basketball players. We need to view math and science with the same respect that we do our entertainers. It saddens me when I see our people pouring money into music and sports knowing that the average 12 grader in the United States reads on level of an 8th grader and is unprepared for higher learning.

We have our priorities all wrong!

Not to be argumentative, but Beyonce is not Jay-Z. What Jay-Z has done in the past has nothing to do with her as a person.

Not to mention he probably was a "former" drug dealer. So, what? The key word is "former." I'm sure we all have done some things in our past that we are not proud of. She shouldn't have married him because the now multi-millionaire did some things in his past that wasn't on the up and up? If that's the case, half of the coke snorting businessmen on Wall street would be single!

Stop blaming the T.V. for people not raising their children. Beyonce' did do it right. She dated, got married, and then chose a baby. You got it correct when you said she is a grown woman. She can shake her hips and gyrate until the top or bottom half of her body flies off. She is there to entertain. That is what she gets paid to do. Not help you raise your kid.

Thankfully your kids have a great mom that can be their rolemodel!!!

elvis wiggled his hips too, those long- haired hippie beatles were no good too!

GREAT POST!!! Thank you! Thank you!

Debunking the myths about what it means to be a successful woman, particularly of minority decent is a huge, daunting, widely ignored task, and I'm glad I'm not alone in this fight!

Ironically, I WAS your daughter - I was the banner bearer for "Team Kim K."

And it wasn't until my boyfriend asked me, "Sooooo, what is it that you like so much about Kim? What has she done? What does she do?"

My response: "Uuuuum, well she has a big butt..."

Lol...it was at that moment that I saw the light. Looking back now, I was clearly confused.

Veronica

http://www.veronicainspires.com/about

On this subject of doing the right thing and celebrity role models, I agree with you wholeheartedly! Even though I am glad that the Carter's are publicly behaving like responsible married people, and I acknowledge that since many young folks DO look to celebrities as role models (talented ones like Beyonce and folks who are just famous for being famous like the Kardasians) at least the Carters offer a positive image of relationships and marriage, for now. But more importantly, so many of us look to celebrities because we can't turn away from media. So I add to your call for better real people role models a call for parents to manage and model healthy media consumption (as in way less)! Turn off the Damn TV, move away from the computer screen for a minute... and read a book!

Not judgin', just say'n!

crunchyvtmommy Wonderful post! I think you're right. Even if his crack dealing days are in the past, he still capitalizes on it (and violence) in much of his music and Beyonce still spends much of her time gyrating in sequined onesies on a stage. If she wasn't a millionaire she'd just be another exotic dancer... that is her choice, but not what I see as a role model for my children. We are responsible for setting the standard for our children, not strangers who just happen to be rich and famous.