Dear Ann Romney: I Felt Forgotten


Dear Ann Romney,

I look forward to the day when women in American politics [ ... and let's face it ... right now, the women in politics (on both sides) getting the most coverage in the media are the wives of politicians] don’t boil their agenda down to simply JUST being a mother or a wife.

American women have a lot to offer our country. The wives of politicians are active members of the political system and are important figureheads. Not only are they essential parts of political campaigns, they also have opportunities to promote their own causes, act as figures of the state in domestic and international affairs, and are role models for other American women.

I think it's important for American women to understand that along with being wives and mothers (if we so choose), there are other identities we can take up in politics outside of these roles. More importantly, it's important that we American women know that these roles outside of being wives and mothers are just as important to our sense of American identity and place in the American political system.

Ann Romney and family

(Credit Image: © Dirk Shadd/MCT/

Ann Romney, if you recognize that women “are the ones that have to do a little bit more, and work a little harder throughout the day to earn that respect at work.” And to then “come home and help with a book report.” then I challenge you to do something about it.

If you recognize the unfair duality of the worker/caretaker role, if you recognize the injustices in the workforce, if you recognize all the inconsistencies in women’s lives, then I challenge you to ... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

If you believe -- like you say in your speech -- that women really are, “the best of America ... the hope of America .... and that there would not be an America without (us ... and that you would like to) salute and sing (our) praises” ... then DON'T FORGET ABOUT US.

You took the time to single us out, to describe our story. You sang our praises for all the sacrifices we make, and how hard life is to be a woman in America ... and then, you just moved on. You kept us there in that depressing, struggling state. You moved onto your husband's accolades and this life you two built up together into the limelight and didn’t even mention us again.

Is your story supposed to save us, the downtrodden American women? Was your message for us to infer that we, too, should find nice husbands to have five babies with? Because even though I listened to all 22 minutes of your speech, I didn’t hear you refer back to us and our struggle. I didn’t even hear you refer back to women outside of your own identity as a wife or mother.

I felt forgotten. Just like the American political system has a tendency of doing to us women, as a subgroup. Unless, of course, our wombs or vaginas or identities as mothers and wives are needed to tote the political limelight. Then, like in your speech tonight, you remember us. This makes me feel like it is only for my ability as a woman to reproduce that the American political system remembers me.

But please, Mrs. Romney. If you really care about the American woman. If you really believe that we are the best of America. If you really believe that there would not be an America without us, and we weren’t just part of Republican rhetoric, then please keep in mind that above all else, American women are not just simply wives and mothers.

Some of us are lesbians, Mrs. Romney. That does not limit our own desires to be wives and mothers. That does not mean we are a subsection of the United States to be ignored, to be corrected, or outlawed. That does not make us any less American. Please don’t take away our basic human rights to love or be loved, or to carry the same rights and freedoms as others.


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