Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I don't know you (I hope) and I am not sure what brought you to my post or why you felt compelled to comment with the tone that you did. I am guessing that your comment:

That is just really sad... thinking you don't need anymore anyways!
on 1/5/13

is an inference that I am not a good mother because I don't desire having any more children.

Like I said, I don't know anything about you. You may have been having a bad day, you may have just caught my blog right after getting a negative result on yet another pregnancy test and you can't fathom that someone would not want to have another baby when you have been trying SO hard to just get pregnant in the first place.

I understand, I have been there.

You see, while I don't know anything about you, you also seem to know the very little that you read in that one post. Let me share a little bit of my story with you.

My entire life, I have been in training to be a mother. I just knew that I would have a gaggle of kids, everyone knew it. I babysat from the age of 13, I wanted to be a teacher. I was good with kids and they loved me. There was nothing more important to me in the world than eventually being the mother that I knew that I was born to be.

When I got pregnant the very first time, I was not really ecstatic about it. I was 19, the guy that I was with (now the Hubs) was 16. I was in college and he was still in high school. As much as I feared that my life was over, I knew that I would be a good mother, that I would take responsibility for our actions, that I would do everything that I needed to do for this child because that is the type of person that I was. When I miscarried that baby at 8 and half weeks, I mourned. While relieved that I could move on with my life, my heart, my spirit was broken for the very first time.

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