Dear Dr. Romance: I discovered she is lesbian

Dear Dr. Romance:

Nine months ago, I met a girl on Facebook.  my words about many subject attract her , then she add me as her friends, and I discovered that she is lesbian.  Before that, I didn'tknow there was lesbian world but when we chat I get to know her very well, many walls fell, and I am only one who sees thru this wall.  She fell in love with me and she joined the school because of me and her life change.  

I am still straight , she wanted marry me but I reject her, then she told me that she love girl before
she meet me and she didn't feel in love with her before  but I taught her what love means.  She is grateful to me that she fall in love with her girl and now she want marry her.  

She is totally change toward me for the last 2 months.Many times I send  her msgs but she doesn't answer.  She told me that I am not change I am still straight girl and she still want me but I don't want her as my love, just friend and she told me that I am trying change her to straight girl. Now she find another friend rather than me she told her everything so what I can do to let her know I don't want lose her as friend?

Dear Reader:

I'm guessing from your letter that you are young, and perhaps English is a second language. It's not unusual for friendships to change when the friend falls in love with someone else. There's not much you can do, except let her know you want to be her friend. Ignore whether she's a lesbian or not. She knows you're not. She's occupied elsewhere right now, so it's a good time for you to take your mind off her. You can send this girl a friendly note once in a while, but don't push. That will just push her away.

It sounds as if you're very focused on this one friend, and that the friendship is only via Facebook. You need to get out and make more friends. If you're still in school, there are lots of clubs and groups you can join to begin to make friends. The more friends you have, the more options and choices you have, and the better your chances of getting your needs met. If one friend isn't available, someone else is. With plenty of friends around, you can make sure that you get your full measure of delight, support and companionship.  "Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends"  will help you figure out how to make friends in person, and show you it isn't as difficult as you think to get to know people.  

Spending quality time with friends is beneficial to your emotional, mental and physical health. It Ends With You will help you explore why you're not as comfortable with people in person as you are online.
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For low-cost counseling, find me at 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.



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