Dear Dr. Romance: I Don't Want to Leave without Saying Goodbye
Dear Dr. Romance,
I have developed feelings for my co-worker and during the past several months, we have had very brief encounters that were limited to greetings. Due to the small work place, I could not go and talk comfortably to him without eliciting attentions/rumors.
I will be leaving my job at the end of this week to start grad school and really want to talk to him for the last time. I just want to say goodbye and say if he ever wants to keep in touch he can contact me. I was thinking about leaving a note on his car but I am not sure whether it's appropriate.
Would you please please help me with this dilemma? I really don't want to leave without saying goodbye.
Your leaving is the perfect opportunity to give this connection a chance. He's unmarried, right? However, I don't think a note on his car is a good idea. Do you know his phone extension at work? If you do, call and (if he doesn't answer) leave him a message, identify yourself so he'll know who he is talking, and say you just want to say goodbye, and thank him for something (even if it's something small, like his friendly greetings). Say you wish you could have gotten to know him better, leave your number or extension, and hang up.
The message shouldn't take more than 15 seconds. Don't ramble on -- make a note of what you want to say, and say it with a smile in your voice. If he answers, then say it in person, but don't hang up -- give him a chance to respond, but don't keep him talking. With men, it's better to give them the idea that you're interested, then back off. If you know his e-mail at work, you can do it that way, too. Just say the same thing. If the only thing you can do is leave a note, I guess it's okay. But it's tacky and won't leave as good an impression. Good luck. You wasted a chance on this, and you should change your approach in the future. "Turn on Your Charm" will help you develop a way to get men more interested in you. "Where Is Love?" and "The Fine Art of Squirrel Hunting" will get you on the right track to find someone who can be a real partner. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again has just what you need to make dating successful.
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.