The other day in the car the little angel asked if the leaves HAD to die. The way she asked it broke my heart into teeny-weeny pieces. “Yes,” I said. “The leaves have to fall so that new leaves can grow in the spring. If they don’t fall off, the new baby leaves won’t be able to grow.”

She thought about that for a little bit, and then murmured, “I wish they didn’t have to die, even if they are pretty.” Pretty heavy for three-and-a-half.

Leaves falling are so metaphorical. The idea of them sacrificing themselves for the good of the tree and future leafy generations is romantic and noble. And yet, also just nature. Whether we die nobly or die in a crackhouse, we all die, and at some point, our kids start to notice the circle of life. This leaf thing got me thinking, though, and it looks like I’m not the only one.

Jessica’s son talked about many things on a recent 8-mile bike ride, but one of them caught my eye.

11. we talked about leaves dying and he asked if it hurt to die

I looked into the leaf issue a little further, all sciency and stuff. Here’s my conclusion: if the leaves don’t fall off in autumn, the tree will die of thirst. The leaves sweat too much. The leaves help the tree to store food for the period the tree will have to go naked. The leaves are not the tree, but the tree needs the leaves for part of the year. When the leaves become more of a risk than a help, the tree cuts them loose.

Softpedia says:

Leaves have as the main function the photosynthesis: using water, carbon dioxide and light they generate organic compounds and oxygen. But in order to induce a suction force, they constantly sweat. Because the leaves have a large surface, they sweat huge water amounts, so the trees must shed them during the winter in order not to get dried, as the stem and branch surfaces are much smaller.

Because kids notice the leaves falling every year, they are a good conversation-starter if you absolutely MUST discuss death. Since the little angel’s daycare teachers have lost a husband and a father in the past year, we’ve had to talk about death quite a bit in our family.

Here is a list of books for kids dealing with death.

I do love the idea that the leaves are most beautiful in their old age, when they’ve done their duty and are enjoying a brilliant going-away celebration. May we all go out in a blaze of color.