Defending The Cavewoman
Neuropsychiatrist Dr. Louann Brizendine, MD, has come out with a new book entitled The Male Brain (which I will refrain from joking is an oxymoron...oops, too late) that is a companion piece to her 2006 bestseller The Female Brain. She's getting quite a bit of flack for it because her books seem to reinforce gender stereotypes, in particular when it comes to love: Dr. B says that men are assured of a woman's love if she wants to have sex with them, while women feel secure of their partner's affection if he talks to them.
Things run a bit differently in my house. My husband knows I love him because I talk to him - otherwise, I would ignore his phone calls like I do everyone else's and communicate with him only by text and e-mail. I mean, do you know how many stories I've listened to about belligerent drunks on the light rail? How often I've dozed off to the sound of my sweet man describing the magic of remote control airplanes? If that ain't love, honey, I don't know what is.
And I believe he loves me because he still agrees to--whether it's our anniversary or not--have sex with me. This usually requires him drinking to excess so that I'm attractive enough to warrant interest, but I'm fine with that. Unlike a lot of men (according to Dr. B), he's also empathetic and remembers birthdays and other important dates. The only date I recall on a regular basis is when Girl Scout cookies arrive, and can be found panicking in the card department at Target on the night of our anniversary - and that's only because I got the flowers he ordered me two weeks ago.
Which is all just to say that Dr. B is kinda full of it.
Michele Coppola is a Portland-based writer and former radio personality whose most recent work has been published in the feminist journals So To Speak and Melusine. Find her blog at www.coppolawords.com