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Hey All!
Well, in spite of the old hormones, I have some good
news to report - I lost another 2.4 lbs. bringing my total lost so far
to (drum roll please) 9lbs.!! Not bad for September, baby steps....
I'm
gonna take it down and be serious this post - don't worry, the funny
will be back next time, but I needed to have a chat with y'all about
something that has been bothering me for quite some time. Thanks to all
of you for letting me vent (especially you Ms. Johnson).
Recently,
the actress and comedienne Monique was featured on a special issue of
Essence magazine. The issue was spotlighting full figured women, and
there was an in-depth interview with her about her life struggles and
issues that she has had to deal with. Ladies, if you get a chance, read
the interview, I cried..
Anyhoo, a few of the blogs that I
frequent made mention of Monique, the Essence cover, and how she is
FINALLY starting to lose some weight. And then the comments rolled
in.....
I am not quoting verbatim, but the gist of it was "She
is too fat, it is not cute, how dare she make fun of skinny women, oh
and did I mention that she is fat, 'bout time she did something about
that fat" you get the idea.
I sat back and thought "Dang, where
is the love?" Now, I could have been a troll and shook some thangs up
on behalf of the big sistahs, but those people are kind of sad, and in
the end, its just words on a page...But I do want to make mention of
this one thing..
The article on Monique was not about her losing
weight...It was about her ordeal as a victim of sexual abuse. The
weight loss was a result of her finally coming to terms and dealing
with what happened to her.
I tried to google "black women sexual
abuse overweight" and surprisingly, nothing that I needed popped up, so
I am making a guesstimation here until I can get some concrete numbers,
but I would say that a good number of overweight sisters have been thru
some kind of trauma or abuse at some point in their lives. And...I am
including myself in that "good number".
Being overweight is not
all about eating too much, being greedy, lack of self control, portion
control, being lazy etc. If it were that simple, then there wouldn't be
yo yo dieting and relapsing. I have been a "professional" dieter for
almost 25 years now. Losing weight is easy - maintaining is the hard
part.
See, I never could understand how I could lose the weight,
look good and then pile it all back on within a matter of months. My
last foray with my struggle, coupled with the fact that I am now over
40 and single, made me take a good long look at myself. Why was I still
doing this dance, when so many others just lose and go on with their
lives? I was truly sick of being big, and making excuses and, quite
frankly FAILING at this game. Yeah, I tried to do the usual pep talk,
"oh girl you allright, you got God, family, and the whole enchilada"
but I knew that it wasn't going to work this time.
So, I took
that leap, went back to my doctor (who was none too happy with me), and
got a referral for counseling. It was time to deal with what I had been
pushing back for years. It was (and still is) the most terrifying thing
to have to regurgitate everything that I went thru. Some days, I had to
talk myself out of bed, into the shower, out of the door and into my
car, but I made it. I am not nearly out of the woods yet, but I can see
the sun from where I am. And now, after almost five months of therapy,
when I say that what happened to me was not my fault, I can truly
believe it. And I can move on....
I guess the point to all of
this rambling is this: None of the bloggers or commenters that I read
mentioned Monique's revelation about her abuse and how she dealt with
it. It seems that we are still sweeping the abuse of our sisters under
the rug. I cannot stress this enough: We will not be able to deal with
the obesity epidemic until we deal with its causes. We need to break
down the myths and stigmatisms about getting professional help . And
most of all , we need to be there for each other, not just lip service,
but be that shoulder or that backbone.
I
