Denying Death: A Second Time

 

Death is high on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale. For many years I feared death.  I have been fortunate to count funeral attendance on one hand.   I just don't do well with them although I have only gone to three in my entire life. 

Yes…one, two, and three. They say death come in threes. It did in my first blog about death. 

Well, I don't fear death anymore.  Yet, I am going to darn sure deny it for as long as I can.

Very-recently, I just knew death came knocking.  I was suffering from one illness.  Nothing major to many but at a maximum for me.  However, I left the ER sicker than when I arrived. 

Hours later Mr. Death seems to be visiting me. Sounds unbelievable? I sat on the floor violently ill yelling for the only two family members around. 

Mr. Death appears to knock harder.  I began to give instructions in case Death was successful knocking me down. 

Family member frightened. Returned to the ER.

As you can see, since I am able to write about it; I denied death (notice he is no longer a proper noun). I am not my authentic self and remain suffering from what brought me to the ER. An uncertainty of your health pushes you to vulnerability.

Although I am trying to come to terms with the death of my loving cousin who was a brother to me, my dear Doris who was a mother and grandmother to me and my dear friend and former coworker Doris (yes Doris); I have chosen to reposition and reassess. I have chosen to deny the drama and stress of the workplace and deny death to spend more of my time with my family and friends who matters the most. 

To measure stress according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the number of "Life Change Units" that apply to events in the past year of an individual's life are added and the final score will give a rough estimate of how stress affects health (Source).

Life event

Life change units

Death of a spouse

100

Divorce

73

Marital separation

65

Imprisonment

63

Death of a close family member

63

Personal injury or illness

53

  

 

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